Monday, June 09, 2008

It's been five months to the day...

... and I can finally bring myself to use this song, which pretty much says it all.
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say

And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

Daughtry - Over You

It's interesting how this year has worked itself out so far. Looking back, it was a simply godawful start to 2008. I really don't think it could have been any worse. I lost so many of the things I thought I had - when relationships crumbled for no apparent reason, when some people I treasured so much had other ideas and turned away from me, when I was forced to leave the gym that had been an important part of my life. Throw into the mix a thesis that had to be completed, cognates that had to be finished, and the stress of a final semester as a senior undergraduate. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Thank God for the friends who stuck by me and offered their support - those who actually listened to my sorry tales and were there for me as I oscillated from bitter and angry to hopeful and trying my darndest to be cheerful and back again. I'm so incredibly blessed to have friends like these. I'm thankful also for the myriad of opportunities that sprang up in the wake of all the forgettable incidents that happened. If it hadn't been for those incidents, I would never had have the chances to do some of the diverse things that I've managed to do, or meet some of the cool people I've met, in the recent months.

School ended up turning out well, the thesis was duly completed, I achieved most, if not all, that I had hoped to achieve academically. CrossFit and training-wise, I believe I've improved markedly in all aspects despite not training at an affiliate (excluding the occasional visit to Motor City CrossFit at Sterling Heights, an hour's drive from Ann Arbor). My athletic performances at drop-in visits at other affiliates when I travel are proof yet again that maybe I was wrong in thinking that I HAD to fork out $199 a month to be able to keep my CrossFit fire stoked. It really does boil down to individual motivation and desire, and that's something that no one can take away from me.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Colorgenics Test - What do you think?

I usually avoid online personality tests like the plague, because I find it hard to fathom how an in-depth personality profile could possibly be generated, after a few cursory questions. But this post on Wilson's blog caught my interest for some reason (probably since he mentioned that it seemed to be uncannily accurate), and for want of anything better to do, I decided to try it out myself.

It's called the Colorgenics test, and a brief synopsis of how it works can be found on the GoldinUniverse site.
How it works:
The Colorgenics program is made up of eight standard colors - you simply select these colors in your preferred order.The number of ways in which these eight colors can be ordered is vast, and it is in the analysis of these permutations - and specifically the one personal order that you choose - that the power of the Colorgenics program becomes apparent.
Sounds a bit sketchy, right? Anyway, I went ahead and tried it out. Here are my results:

You have exaggerated demands on life but you are cautious enough to try to hide these beliefs from the outside world. You are covert enough to try to impress other people around you with your achievements and at the same time able to put on an act of pretending to be 'humble' - being the same as everyone else. It would appear, however, that whatever you are doing seems to be working out O.K.

You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.

You feel that you should be appreciated far more than you are but no-one seems to care! You feel that you are receiving less than your share and the main problem is that there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. The inner stress that you are experiencing makes you quick to take offence but you realise that at this particular moment in time there is little that you can do to relieve the situation.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.


Well, I might have to reconsider my impression of such personality tests! I'd say this is 80 per cent accurate at this point in time. In particular, the second, fourth, and fifth paragraphs really resonate with everything that's happened. Scary! If you're free, try it (it only takes about thirty seconds to perform the color arrangement test) for yourself!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Review: Rogue Rings (Rogue Fitness)

Note: I posted this on my training blog but I thought I'd also cross-post it here since the search term "CrossFit" seems to be one of the top terms linking to this blog.

Rogue Rings

So here's the review of the Rogue Rings (USD $72.00) which I ordered from Rogue Fitness some time ago. For those of you who might prefer a brief overview of the product, the rings were of very impressive quality, finely crafted, a cinch to set up, and looked to be extremely durable. Not to mention, they're highly aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Black powder-coated steel rings hanging from black straps emblazoned with the red and white Rogue Fitness logo set against a gray background do indeed make for a pretty aggressive setup. I highly recommend them to anyone who's looking to purchase their first set of rings. Click on the accompanying images to enlarge them.

Order Process/Customer Service/Shipping:
I placed my order through the Rogue Fitness website (linked above). The order process was smooth and painless, and it was easy to navigate the website. I also signed up for a customer account with Rogue Fitness since it was my first time placing an order with the company. As was typical of online orders, I made my payment using my credit card information on a secure portal.

The Rogue Rings were shipped via UPS ground service from Ohio, to my place in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I received my rings almost two weeks after I'd placed my order. I initially thought that I'd receive them earlier, as my expectations were based on how most of the equipment I've ordered online from other athletic companies have generally reached my doorstep in less than a week or so. I received an email from Rogue a couple of days after I'd placed my order, informing me that the next batch of Rogue Rings were to be shipped out altogether the following week.

If I'm not mistaken, I understand that these rings are carefully crafted and personally inspected, batch by batch, by the good people at Rogue Fitness and so I wouldn't hold the somewhat delayed processing time against them. I also received emails from Rogue Fitness regarding the status of my order as well as shipping information, which were definitely appreciated.

Texture and Grip:
The Rogue Rings are crafted out of black, heavy-gauge steel, with an aggressive texture. The powder coating allows for a secure grip on the rings, and holds chalk very well. Personally, I wound black athletic tape around the rings (but that was purely a personal preference - I have unbelievably sweaty palms and grip is a huge factor when it comes to equipment considerations), and that worked awesome too. That being said, it wouldn't have been a problem for me to use the rings straight up without the tape, just chalk.
Closeup of my taped rings

For those of you who are fortunate enough not to be afflicted by excessively sweaty paws, I believe the texture of the rings is aggressive enough for you to maintain a strong grip, even in the absence of chalk. In my opinion, the rings are not too textured to the point of being abrasive, which is good particularly if you don't want to rip the skin off your wrists when performing muscle-ups using the false grip.

Design and Specifications:
The rings are sturdily constructed, with no discernible welding seams. If I'm not mistaken, each ring is made from a single piece of metal and machined down to exact specifications, which explains the lack of seams. The circumference of the rings forms a perfect circle, and the thickness of the rings will accommodate any trainee's grip. I didn't perform exact measurements but I estimate the thickness of the rings to fall somewhere between 1" and 1.5", which makes for a comfortable, secure grip.

As mentioned earlier, the rings are constructed out of steel. This makes them somewhat heavier (2 lbs per ring), but you can rest in the secure (ha ha, pun!) knowledge that they will be able to tolerate great amounts of stress.

As perhaps the best testimony to the strength of the mounting straps that come with the rings, Bill Henninger, the owner of Rogue Fitness, actually used a Rogue Ring strap to drag one of his client's vehicles which was stuck after heavy snowfall. You can see the video here. Attaching the strap between the vehicles, he pulled his client's car about 600 m without the strap giving out. If that doesn't tell you enough about the strength and durability of the mounting straps, I don't know what will.
Closeup of the buckle and strap on the Rogue Rings

The straps (1.5 inches in width) are fashioned out of a strong, relatively stiff material that isn't too harsh on the arms either. Most people new to rings will naturally lean on the straps for support when performing exercises like dips, and these straps don't dig into your skin. Granted, a little redness is to be expected where the straps come into contact with your arms, but nothing abrasive, thanks to the smoothness of the straps. The ends of the straps are cut to a point and tapered for easy insertion into the buckles. The buckles are made out of steel and the catch on the buckle can be depressed enough to allow for easy insertion of the straps. The mouth of the buckle is knurled (presumably to allow for friction and stability once the catch is closed). I was extremely pleased with how easy it was to insert the straps into the buckle, as that was one of my fundamental considerations when it came to purchasing a pair of rings.

Numerous experiences with rings of other brands that featured flimsy, frayed straps and buckles that would hardly yield to pressure had left me with a certain aversion to mounting rings. The frustration that comes with trying unsuccessfully to mount rings at 6:00 am in the morning is hardly welcome. I remember taking up to ten minutes to mount one ring, and then needing another ten to set up the other. Hardly an efficacious use of time, considering I could probably have completed the workout in the time it had taken to set the rings up.

I had no such problem with the Rogue Rings (which even comes with an instruction sheet for the handiness-impaired) - I threw the straps over the mounting point (which can be a pullup bar, a tree branch, almost anything at all that you deem strong and stable enough to hold your weight - since if anything gives out it'll be the mounting structure, not the rings) - ran the tapered ends of the straps through the rings, ran them through the buckle, and completed the setup in around one to two minutes. There is a velcro loop attached near the buckle in the event you want to roll up the excess strap length to prevent it from getting in the way. Although I didn't make use of the velcro attachments, it definitely is a nice option to have.

Training/General Observations:
I tried out my rings by performing dips, pushups, muscle-up progressions, skin-the-cats and other gymnastic moves, and they held my weight superbly without budging. The Rogue Rings arrived in a 5x10x10 box - a compact tool, easy to transport around and bring to playgrounds or fitness corners where you can pretty much construct an entire workout around them. Throw a jump rope, a kettlebell, and a power wheel in the back of your car together with the rings, and you have unlimited workout options at your disposal.
Rings on a ring set!

The rings alone are sufficient to keep you occupied for hours as it's amazing how much they can add to your workout regimen. The added element of instability that comes from using the rings adds valuable difficulty to any workout - for instance, performing ring dips and pushups instead of regular dips and pushups enables you to fully engage your stabilizer muscles and strengthen your midline. Ring rows are also an excellent progression for those who are working towards unassisted pullups. Not to mention the plethora of gymnastic moves - front and back levers, L-sits, planches, (and the king of all - the iron cross) that you can attempt or work towards by using a set of rings.

Other Considerations:
The only conceivable drawback as to the Rogue Rings which I can think of now is that the steel rings will be very cold in winter, which might have an adverse effect on grip. Of course, you can easily solve that problem by storing your rings indoors in an insulated environment, instead of outside or in an uninsulated garage. Also, the Rogue Rings are slightly heavier than the Elite Rings and the Xtreme Rings (the other two options for rings in the market), which might have a slight effect on portability, but the durability of the Rogue Rings is uncompromised and CrossFitters typically enjoy carrying around heavy things anyway, so I don't think that'll be much of a factor. It remains to be seen if the quality of the buckle and straps remain strong over time for easy ring setup to take place.

All in all, I find the Rogue Rings at USD $72.00 to be a worthwhile investment for any CrossFitter who is serious about acquiring valuable skills that can only be honed with ring practice. As an aside, Rogue Fitness is fast establishing itself as a major player in the CrossFit equipment market, recently releasing its own line of Do-Win weightlifting shoes, coming up with a reasonably-priced Olympic bar for barbell movements, and also home to a host of package options for CrossFitters looking for good equipment deals.

In my opinion, these rings get a solid 9 out of 10.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The last thing you said before you walked out of my life...

"There's such a thing as loving too much."
I guess I just didn't know any other way to love you.

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain

Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me

Oh, they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Leona Lewis - Keep Bleeding

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

sugar how'd you get so fly?

Something deep inside tells me that I'd really like to get to know you better.

You got me lifted, shifted higher than the ceiling
And ooohh whee, it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted, feelin so gifted
Sugar how’d you get so fly?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

almost done

Brought my Rogue rings to a playground at one of the elementary schools in Ann Arbor, tossed the straps over (ironically enough) a mounted ring set, and worked on some ring skills this morning. Rings are humbling! I'll post more when I have some time...

As of now, only my history final tomorrow stands between me and the end of my undergraduate career... but I still have four more chapters to study. Die.

Well, I’m not paralyzed
But I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

不死之身 (林俊傑)

This is one of my favorite Mandarin songs - loosely translated to read "Eternal Life", by JJ Lin. It was released sometime back in 2006 and I hadn't heard it in a while, but all of a sudden I thought of it again, and found it on imeem. For the record, my wimpy diet of Mandarin songs primarily consists of Jay Chou's tunes and maybe some random ditties by other artistes like Elva Hsiao.

On another note, I offered to cook dinner for some close friends at one of their places just last Saturday. They're people I work out with and so we see a lot of one another, at 6:00 am in the morning no less (sometimes I think they've been doing a pretty credible job at pretending they're thrilled to see me each day, despite me being the harbinger of doom, ie. crazy workouts).

I don't think I'd laughed as much in a long time till that dinner on Saturday. I don't know what it was - probably the good company and the funny jokes, no doubt - but the talking at the dinner table sent me into guffaws and cracked me up till my sides hurt so bad from laughing. (Note: Laughing with a full belly is intensely uncomfortable). But it was cathartic in a sense, being able to laugh and enjoy myself with friends. It cut through the dull ache in my heart in a way that I didn't think anything else but time could possibly do.

A lot of the time I try to convince myself that I've moved on and left it all behind, but in doing so I'm really not fooling anyone but myself. Then again, I guess there really is no other option but to wait it out. It's not as though I'm sitting around feeling sorry for myself - there's a ton of stuff to be done and so many things that jostle for my attention. And I'm not looking for sympathy here. It's just the nights like that which get me thinking about you, and all of a sudden I wish you wouldn't have been as cruel as to leave me, just like that.

That's really all there is to it.


Sunlight abandoned this final second
Letting the world be enveloped by darkness
Punishing people for their pride
I'll endure the suffering of freezing cold
And the north wind's pretentious roar
I'll resist destiny

任何事物 任何一切
喔 親愛的別難過

This is an unavoidable catastrophe
No matter who you think you are
Every object, every single thing
Oh, darling, don't feel sad
As long as you hold tightly to my hand


不死之身 不死的溫柔

After the earth is destroyed
I'll still love you with a love that knows no bounds

I'll build you a new universe
Eternal life, undying tenderness


Bear the sorrow without turning back
But now, I feel as if your tears won't stop flowing
Only with love can we be remembered forever
Only with you can I find myself
Only with you can I find myself
Only with you can I find myself

Sunday, April 13, 2008

shades of gray

Hmm, interesting.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Yeah, Michigan!

Here's to another year in Ann Arbor!

"Those who stay will be champions."
- Bo Schembechler, legendary University of Michigan Football Coach from 1969-1989.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

thesis schmesis

I'd take another chance
Take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)

Looking at a year-and-a-half's worth of work in the form of a neatly-bound 132-page thesis, I can say it's been quite an experience. Especially the last week or so. On Sunday (the day before the thesis was due) I spent sixteen straight hours slogging away in the Angell Hall Computing Site, lovingly christened the Fishbowl (that's one of the biggest computing sites on campus, for the uninitiated). It was only then when I fully realized why it was nicknamed the Fishbowl - particularly true in the wee hours of the morning, because everyone pretty much has eyes that are glazed over from the lack of sleep, compounded by staring at a computer screen for hours on end. I emerged from the Fishbowl at 4:00 am finally with my four printed copies, went home, got into my car and drove to the FedEx Kinko's down on State to get the theses bound (24-hour Kinko's are the best thing ever).

I both love and loathe Microsoft Office Word 2007. It was pretty cool when I discovered that there was such a tool as an automatic content page generator, but not half as cool when the formatting kept screwing up when I tried to add my final heading for the reference list to the content sheet. I could correct it on Word itself, but whenever I tried to print or convert it to a PDF file, it'd automatically recorrect (or rewrong, given the circumstances) itself. It drove me nuts, and I finally gave up on amending it on the computer, resorting instead to a most primitive method to make the amendment. I won't elaborate on what I did, save to say that it was a most ingenious solution that involved a wad of chewed gum, a sheet on which the amendment I had wanted to include was printed, and a photocopier. Well, you couldn't tell the difference, in any case! :)

Anyway, so Sunday was only the second all-nighter I've pulled in my undergraduate college experience to date. The first was for a polsci paper almost exactly a year ago. I don't recommend it, but I think it's a staple part of many students' lives. I value my sleep too much to make this a habit!

Well, it's not over yet - my thesis defense is scheduled for next Tuesday. Exactly a week from today I'll have to stand in front of a panel and attempt to be an expert on politics in Singapore. Hopefully that goes well!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

oldies but goodies

Okay, so I discovered Leqi's stash of photos from junior college days, tucked away in the obscure crevices of the World Wide Web... thanks, partner!

Gao Shang's doing some sort of sexy shuffle in the middle, the look of disgust on Weiqi's face is priceless, can't tell what the heck Lydia is thinking, Mag looks like an agitated mother trying to keep her unruly child in check, both Leqi and Vania seem to be intensely fixated on the ground (or their toes, or each other's toes, for that matter) while Shine's beaming benevolently at an earthworm before she squashes it beneath her sandal, Carol looks as though she's about to fall asleep which is surprising, considering she's seldom awake in the first place, Zhen looks like she's stuffing a wadded medal ribbon up her nostrils, and Sheryl and I are wondering how we've ended up as the unlucky two on the ends of the photo (as everyone in our team is fully aware, standing at the ends has the unwanted effect of enlargement).

GS (cackling): "Hey, wanna see? ;)".
Zhen: "Thank you kindly, but we'd rather not".
Lydia: "Mmmmmmmmfffffgggghhhhhh".

Hangout @ Mt. Sinai (aka. the old RJC weight room, where I spent some of the best times of my life - an infinitely better place to be than in economics tutorial).

And the canoeists' table!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

wake-up call

Gotta love Adam Levine's voice!

I didn't hear what you were saying
I live on raw emotion, baby
I answer questions never maybe
And I'm not kind if you betray me
So who the hell are you to say we
Never would have made it babe

If you needed love
Well then ask for love
Could have given love
Now I’m taking love
And it’s not my fault
Cause you both deserve
What is coming now
So don’t say a word

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore
Don’t you care about me
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here
I don't think so

Would have bled to make you happy
You didn't need to treat me that way
And now you beat me at my own game
And now I find you sleeping soundly
And your lovers screaming loudly
Hear a sound and hit the ground

If you needed love
Well then ask for love
Could have given love
Now I’m taking love
And it’s not my fault
Cause you both deserve
What’s coming now

So don’t say a word

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore
Don’t you care about me
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here
I don’t feel so bad
I don’t feel so bad
I don’t feel so bad
Maroon 5 - Wake Up Call

Sunday, March 02, 2008

it's like picking at a scab

it's been almost two months, yet i still find myself thinking about you.

usually i push my thoughts aside, most of the time i succeed in immersing myself in something else (i suppose it's hard to think when you're occupied with work, talking to others, or just trying to survive another brutal CrossFit workout), but it's the quiet moments that get me. and they're lying in wait for me everywhere - journeys on the bus staring out of the window, walking home from the MRT, even those long swims in the pool. don't get me wrong, i'm not clutching at straws here. i know it's over, but a part of me still grieves. i keep telling myself to move on, to get a grip, to leave you behind. at least the pain ebbs away a little everyday.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
- Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Friday, February 29, 2008

i turned a bit of my pain into a song

Every angel had dirty hands
Even Judas planned to just carry on
Just picking up the pieces
Of what lies behind those sorrowful eyes
You can walk away

You don't have to go on
You don't have to be strong
Walk away now
You can walk away

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

all the ice cream you could ever eat

Courtesy of

The New Zealand Natural ice cream buffet at Novena Square really isn't a myth after all, as I discovered yesterday. My brother was thrilled when I told him we ought to go check it out. And check it out he did - he promptly polished off four bowls of ice cream (three scoops per bowl), a plate of pasta, and nachos with cheese. I decided to skip partaking in the gluttonous fest, though - I don't think I could have forgiven myself for such indulgence!

Mingles (at Velocity)
238 Thomson Road #02-78/79
Singapore 307685
Tel: 6253-4650

the lover after me

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same
It's just that everywhere I go
All the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love

Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway
So this is my new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late

And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on

Savage Garden - The Lover After Me

Monday, February 18, 2008

Excerpted from "In the Grip of Grace" by Max Lucado

Guilt and Grace

by Max Lucado

Sometime ago I read a story of a youngster who was shooting rocks with a slingshot. He could never hit his target. As he returned to Grandma’s backyard, he spied her pet duck. On impulse he took aim and let fly. The stone hit, and the duck was dead. The boy panicked and hid the bird in the woodpile, only to look up and see his sister watching.

After lunch that day, Grandma told Sally to help with the dishes. Sally responded, “Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today. Didn’t you Johnny?” And she whispered to him, “Remember the duck!” So, Johnny did the dishes.

What choice did he have? For the next several weeks he was at the sink often. Sometimes for his duty, sometimes for his sin. “Remember the duck,” Sally’d whisper when he objected.

So weary of the chore, he decided that any punishment would be better than washing more dishes, so he confessed to killing the duck. “I know, Johnny,” his grandma said, giving him a hug. “I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you. I wondered how long you would let Sally make a slave out of you.” (Steven Cole, “Forgiveness,” Leadership Magazine, 1983, 86.)

He’d been pardoned, but he thought he was guilty. Why? He had listened to the words of his accuser.

You have been accused as well. You have been accused of dishonesty. You’ve been accused of immorality. You’ve been accused of greed, anger, and arrogance.

Every moment of your life, your accuser is filing charges against you. Even his name, Diabolos, means “slanderer.” Who is he? The devil.

As he speaks, you hang your head. You have no defense. His charges are fair. “I plead guilty, your honor,” you mumble.

“The sentence?” Satan asks.

“The wages of sin is death,” explains the judge, “but in this case the death has already occurred. For this one died with Christ.”

Satan is suddenly silent. And you are suddenly jubilant. You realize that Satan cannot accuse you. No one can accuse you! Fingers may point and voices may demand, but the charges glance off like arrows hitting a shield. No more dirty dishwater. No more penance. No more nagging sisters. You have stood before the judge and heard him declare, “Not guilty."

Sunday, February 17, 2008

watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow

i was thinking of secondary school times and chuckled upon remembering how we wanted to form a band back then, in the height of the boyband craze and all the various teenybopper singers we used to listen to. if i'm not mistaken, we wanted to name ourselves "ten points offshore", though i can't quite recall the reason behind the name. good thing nothing ever came of it, though, because we realized that in its abbreviated form, tenPOS, it could quite easily be misinterpreted as "ten pieces of shit". hahaha. anyway, those days were fun. the days when i used to lug my guitar to school in lieu of a backpack (strange how we never seemed to study back then, don't you think?), where we would hang around in the classroom during recess poring over scores and lyrics and belting out songs. the times of my jordan knight craze (yes, i still think "give it to you" is a fab pop song, in case you were wondering). those were awesome times!

and i remember this song by bbmak was one of our favorites - in fact, it's a song i like very much still. sadly, it rings pretty true as well.

what am i supposed to do
with all these blues
haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
i can't let go
when will this night be over

i didn't mean to fall in love with you
and baby, there's a name for what you put me through
it isn't love, it's robbery

i'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
phantom ships, lost at sea
and one of them is mine
raising my glass, i sing a toast to the midnight sky
i wonder why
the stars don't seem to guide me

the ghost of you and me
when will it set me free
i hear the voices call
following footsteps down the hall
trying to save what's left of my heart and soul

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Darren Hayes - The Only One

This man has one of the most beautiful voices ever. Listen and be amazed!

in a world so cynical
you came in and changed the ball
from black to white
and made me right
this is all atypical
no one else has had the time
to read the signs
you are the only one

no one else can keep me from
the danger of myself
you keep me stronger
you are the only one

and now i love you even more
than i did before

Friday, February 15, 2008

stop breathing if i don't see you any more

a busy, busy week looms ahead. two exams, both for courses i don't really care about (they're pretty much just filler courses i took to maintain full-time student status). there's history on tuesday and i need to look up all the names of people and places and somehow regurgitate them during the 50-minute exam. kind of pointless, if you ask me. thankfully i'll be done with my geosci minicourse on thursday after the final exam then - i always had an intense dislike for physical geography in rjc and i don't think anything's changed since then. polsci research and data entry needs to be done, i really need to get moving on that. it's quite tedious but i suppose it feeds my olympic weightlifting habit (at least it'll help cover the cost of gas). most importantly i really need to get down to work on my polsci honors thesis. i've been putting that off for way, way too long, which is scary considering the first draft is due march 3. there's still a considerable chunk of writing in the last section which i need to get down to. that being said, i'm looking forward to spring break (and taking off from a week of school). i just need to leave ann arbor and the mess this term has been for a bit, if only for two weeks, and return to familiarity.

girl you caught me completely off guard
on the night you said to me
i just don't love you no more

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Hombres G - There Is

i know it's the worst day of the year to think about this, but i remember you telling me that you never wanted to see me hurt the way you'd been hurt by someone else before

This vacation’s useless, these white pills are gone
I’ve given a lot of thought on this 13 hour drive
I missed the grinded concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
Slowly finished laughing in the glow of our head lights
I’ve given a lot of thought to the nights we used to have
The days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where I laid and told you but you swore you loved me more

Do you care if I don’t know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off, pretend it's all ok?
That there’s someone out there who feels just like me… there is
Those notes you wrote me I’ve kept them all
I’ve given a lot of thought on how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Till I See You - Hillsong United

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

- Psalm 18:2 (NIV)

This song never fails to minister to me and serve as a reminder of God's unchanging love. I don't think there's any other constant in this world. You are bound to encounter bitter disappointments, struggles, and numerous other trials in the course of your lifetime. You might be let down by the people whom you trusted and loved the most, and be hurt deeply. But God's love never falters, it never ebbs or recedes with the tide, it's always there for you. I hope the words in this song speak to you too, just as they spoke to me, and made me remember.

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the Cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And till I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are a voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am
My soul will bless Your name

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

i needed the reminder...

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13:6-7

WOD for Wednesday 02/13

Alright guys, forget all I've ever said about CrossFit.
If you really are looking to get fit in twenty minutes a day, and don't mind people staring while you work out, wondering what the hell you're up to...

This is the real deal!

I almost fell off my chair laughing at this! (Well, I suppose I would have fallen off, had it been a Hawaii Chair). ;)

Sunday, February 10, 2008

the beauty of throwing weight around

one week since i started serious oly training and i am loving it. time to knuckle down and learn (hopefully master someday) the finer details behind the snatch and the c+j. enough of that premature-arm-pulling-before-your-legs-reach-full-extension kind of shit that i am so wont to do when trying to do "grace" for time. that kind of half-assed technique might be enough to get me through "grace" or "isabel" with a halfway decent time but won't serve me well when it comes to moving some legitimate weight. time to get serious about it. olympic weightlifting is so different from the other sports i've done in the past. canoeing, dragon boating, rowing, running... they're all races. a race against your opponents, always a race to see who can run out the clock first. strategy's important. but the thing about strategy in that context is that you never know what game day's going to be like. for instance how out of nowhere we thought we were going to capsize while leading by a comfortable margin in sdba k2 500m final. just like how that huge wave crashed against the side of our dragon boat and with its passing swept away any hopes we had of medalling in sdba dboat 2004 finals. in those sports you have to be reactive, you need to prepare for the unknown, you have to take every race as it comes.

but oly lifting is different. you're in total control. you have full discretion over how you want to approach the bar, how you want to set yourself up for the snatch or the c+j, when you decide to initiate the lift by pushing against the ground. and no one can thwart that. well, no one but yourself. the lifts, when done right, are like poetry in motion. once you start, you've got to follow through. there's no time to think once you've begun the lift, when you decide to replicate what you've rehearsed in the gym, time and time again. either you make it or you don't - there's no halfway mark here. you don't get consolation points for a missed lift. it's a beautiful sport. the technical precision is enthralling. flexibility, power, strength, speed, explosiveness all coming together in harmonious synchronicity.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Another new CrossFitting tool... errr, toy!

My new training tool!

I've never really thought of myself as handy when it comes to repairing or making things, but these parallettes are just about the easiest (and one of the most useful) pieces of equipment that anyone could put together. I've been toying with the idea of making my own parallettes for quite a while now, but the thought of having to spend the time chipping away at PVC pipe with a $5 handsaw was rather off-putting. But I really needed to work on my L-sits and experiment with the ton of cool gymnastic exercises that could be done with parallettes, so I finally got around to writing down a list of the materials I needed to get to make my own.

Well, I finally made a stop at the ACE Hardware Store down on Washtenaw yesterday on my way back from Oly lifting training and picked up 1 1/2 diameter PVC pipe and assorted pipe fittings (elbows, t-joints, caps - see the link I posted above for the full specs and layout), together with PVC cement and some sandpaper. The total cost of the equipment I bought was only about twenty dollars. Armed with my purchases, I made my way home and began my novice attempt at building homemade gym equipment. As expected, it took me a while to coax the cheap, generic handsaw into working properly and taking less than ten minutes to cut through a section of pipe. The sawing produced a myriad of fine PVC shavings which just about floated everywhere, almost made me wheeze, before being subsumed into the carpet flooring of my apartment. Oh well. After about an hour of sawing, sweating, and sneezing, I finally had fourteen neat sections of pipe of varying lengths (2 24", 4 8", 8 5"). I then connected the pipes to the fittings, by using the PVC primer and the cement, taking care to ensure that everything was properly aligned. Not too much to complain about this bit, except for the overpowering fumes of the PVC cement. Voila! Parallettes! Finally, I had a pair of parallettes to show for all my effort. I tried them out by doing a couple L-sits and holds and was very pleased with their stability.

(I did give that initial pair of parallettes away to my friend, but I made another set today for myself. For my own set, I sanded the parallel bars to give them a better grip. They'll hold chalk better that way as well. In addition, I didn't glue the perpendicular supports to the parallel bars at the 90-degree elbows, but I did glue everything else together. Not gluing the supports to the bars makes it possible for me to dismantle the parallettes for ease of packing if I were to bring them along on my travels, for instance. This makes them essentially the same as these American Gymnast Travelettes, except that those cost like a good thirty bucks more. Well, I suppose you don't have to suffer through PVC dust shavings-induced sneezing fits or risk getting high on the fumes from the PVC cement, though.)

I'd strongly urge everyone to make or procure a pair of parallettes. They're easily constructed - as a hardware noob like me can testify - and pretty foolproof to make (although you might like to invest in a better handsaw or a pipe-cutter). Also, there's no end to the gymnastic progressions that you can practice. L-sits, straddle holds, planches, handstands - the possibilities are limitless. These gymnastic movements are also some of the hardest to master and require continuous practice and many static holds. Parallettes are definitely something you want to add to your arsenal of home gym equipment!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

you could resurrect a thousand words to deceive me more and more

“Slander is the revenge of a coward, and dissimulation his defense"
- Samuel Johnson

Enough said.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

How is it that you still manage to work your way into my head?

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great
He tastes like you, only sweeter
One night, yea, one more time
Thanks for the memories
Thanks for the memories
See, he tastes like you, only sweeter

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Blimpy Burger on "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives"!

Click on the above link to check out airtimes where Ann Arbor's favorite burger institution will be featured on "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" on the Food Network!

Courtesy of ArborWiki:
Double, triple, quad, quint. With cheese? Anything Grilled?
There's a fine art to ordering these burgers.
Blimpy has a dedicated and loyal following, and has won several awards such as "best burger in town" from Ann Arbor publications like The Michigan Daily and the Ann Arbor News. Their slogan for 50+ years has been 'Cheaper than Food' -- but the price of a typical 3-patty burger (don't be surprised, they're tiny) is somewhere around $4. You certainly get you pay for, and if you need just a tad more convincing, as stated on a sign on the door, they grind their own beef daily!
Jim Shafer, the founder, died in 2004.

Advice for Blimpy Newbies: Always grab a tray. Unless you're getting your food to go, that is. But if not, remember: it's one tray per person. Even if it's just a young child who is half the height of the counter, everyone must have one. Typically, avoid anything that isn't a burger for your main meal. With sides (like fries, onion rings, fried vegetables) being an exception, personally I would stay with the tried and true, which are their burgers. Don't order the cheese when you order your burger. This may sound strange, but there is an extremely particular order and format which you must follow in order to successfully order your meal, and avoid being scolded (no joke):
1. First, you'll want to grab a drink from the cooler, or as of late, get a cup and fill it up at the fountain (Coca-Cola and Coke products are exclusively available here).
2. After getting your drink and grabbing a tray, you'll be asked for your selection of items from the deep fryer, I suggest fries or onion rings.
3. Now is the moment you've been waiting for: ordering the burger; now pay attention here.
This is how you order your burger: State the number of patties you'd like (1-5, with it costing a dollar extra for each one after that), the type of bun you'd like (plain w/ or w/o seeds, or an onion, kaiser, or pumpernickel roll), and if you'd like anything grilled. DO NOT MENTION CHEESE, yet.
But there's more explaining to be done than just this. First of all, as stated earlier, the patties are quite small. Ordering just one isn't even allowed, unless you're under five. A double is a good amount for some, generally younger kids, ages 5-8, but everyone's different. Triples are the most popular, and in my opinion the perfect size. There's not any explanation needed for the bun, and as for grilled items, people have varying tastes. Grilled items include onions, mushrooms, banana peppers, bacon, egg, and salami. Shifting back to the ordering process, although you now know the format of an order, it's quite discourteous to the over-worked Blimpy staff to dawdle while you're ordering. Everything else is very fast-paced, so the ordering should be too. For instance, you shouldn't say, "Well...I guess I'll have a burger with some onions, and um...a regular bun, oh yeah, and make that a triple." It's not that that isn't a correct order, it's just too drawn-out. A good order would be, "I'll have a triple, regular bun, onions grilled."
4. As the burger is almost done being grilled (and this is entertainment in and of itself), you'll be asked what kind of cheese you'd like. There are quite a few selections, american, cheddar, swiss, provolone, blue, and feta.
5. After this, you will be asked for your condiments. Start with the wet stuff first (mayo, mustard, ketchup) then anything else you'd like (lettuce, pickles, tomato, olives, peppers, etc.) Don't just say you want everything because you probably don't. Then, finally, you are ready to feast upon your luscious burger. But don't forget to pay, and if you're feeling nice, give those great folks at Blimpy a tip.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

you're still the missing line in my favorite song

I've started logging my workouts again, especially now that I'm back training on my own. Here's the link to my workout blog: Get Some, Go Again! Take a look, try some workouts, and let me know how it goes! As you'll see on that blog, I did a "Filthy Fifty" today, one of the CrossFit oldies-but-goodies, but I had to change some of the exercises because of equipment limitations. That didn't make it any easier, though. I must say doing 50 burpees as the next-to-last exercise on the WOD was the real kicker. I mean, 50 burpees for time is a pretty nasty workout in itself!

Other than that, not much to report. Although my roommate and I cooked dinner tonight - she made shepherd's pie and I baked this (courtesy of It's a pretty tasty and easy recipe - you should try it for yourself and see how it turns out! Of course, it's probably not something you'd eat everyday (oh, the sin!) but it's great for kicks.

The moon blindsided the sky again
As we grabbed loose ends of the tide and then
The slippery slide
You know, I can't say when
I ever took a ride that could slap me this silly
With roiling joy
Lazy as sin
Lyin' up in heaven with my special friend
And the space he's in
It can make a girl grin
In the beginning of a lifelong fling

Over the Rhine - Lifelong Fling

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

hit me with your best shot

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
Helen Keller
US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

I know everyone has probably seen or heard this oft-used quote in one form or another, but I have to say it resonates with me. The past three weeks have been, frankly, one of the hardest times ever, but things are definitely looking up now and there are so many opportunities, far more than I ever imagined that there would be! It's funny how resourcefulness kicks in only when humans are pushed to their limits or their wits' ends. And after I've searched, I've realized that there are far greener pastures out there, just waiting to be explored. I've also come to realize that there are all sorts of people out there, some who are truly, indubitably great friends and people I'm incredibly thankful for, and others who are just looking to bring you down. To the former, thank you with all my heart. To the latter - I say it'll take far more than that to bring me down, and I only hope that you won't succumb to your own follies. Here's to great friends, an awesome final semester at U-M, CrossFit, olympic weightlifting, and everything God has blessed me with!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Isaiah 40

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Oceanside, CA

I flew into San Diego this afternoon to attend a CrossFit Level 1 Certification which begins tomorrow at Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base. The first thing that struck me when I reached California was the abundant sunshine and balmy temperatures - as always, a welcome change from the frigidity of Michigan. Somehow the lady at Enterprise Car Rental managed to wheedle me into renting a gleaming white '07 Kia Sportage SUV (I know, I know... but it handles well) for the three days I'd be here. I should have rented the Dodge Caliber instead - I've always thought it looked interesting, if not a vehicle that I'd want to drive in the long term - and it was probably cheaper. Oh well. I drove up I-5 to my hotel at Oceanside, CA, spent some time unloading, checking in, and expressing dismay at the high gas prices here, which were around twenty to thirty cents higher per gallon compared to back in Ann Arbor. I dropped in at CrossFit Encinitas, about twenty minutes south of Oceanside, to check out the facility and join the 5:00 pm class. The workout was simple but good - 3 sets of 5 shoulder presses, followed by a metcon component that comprised 3 rounds of 15 24-inch box jumps, 15 Russian KB swings with a 24 kg KB, and 15 ball slams with a 20# D-ball. After that, we did 5 sets of dead hang pullups to failure and practiced Turkish getups with a KB.

On my way back up north to Oceanside, I decided to drop by Pollos Maria, a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place that specialized in charbroiled chicken. I had made up my mind to sample some authentic Mexican food while I was in Southern California, and a search on revealed this well-reviewed gem. I ordered a fish taco (I've heard you simply have to try fish tacos while you're in the San Diego area), a veggie taco, and a sweet tamale to go, and drove back up to Oceanside, parked a ways from the beach, walked down, and savored dinner amidst the cool night air and the sound of the crashing waves of the Pacific. Oceanside seems to be a favorite of skater kids too, and as I was eating at a stone table by the beach, a gangly kid in skater garb told me to join him and his friends for drinks and more food if I hadn't had enough by the time I was done. Pollos Maria more than did the job, however (the fish taco was especially lovely, and it was my first time eating a tamale flavored with juicy chunks of pineapple and raisins), but I must say the casual invitation proffered by the youth really did make my day. Especially when I'd spent much of the rest of the day alone and had found it difficult to keep my mind from wandering towards the thoughts that had been plaguing me for a good while now. After dinner, I spent some time on the streets of Oceanside, dodging vehicles to cross the streets, and soaking in the atmosphere of the town. There were numerous watering holes, most of them seedy-looking -interspersed with military outfitters and barber shops who presumably catered to the large number of Marine servicemen in the vicinity. I wandered around for a bit, noticing the disproportionately large number of males who sported flat-top haircuts, before returning to my car and driving back to the inn. I'm looking forward to Day 1 of the CrossFit Level 1 Cert tomorrow. Imagine, seven full hours' worth of technique, skill instruction, and workouts! I'm pretty psyched.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Philippians 4:7

7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

"peace... which transcends all understanding..."

We're driving, just me and God.

We're driving, just me and God
It's raining, it's raining hard
The windows are steaming up
The bridge engulfed by fog
The rust of the metal bridge
It beckons, it blows me in
I argue, I scream at God
And what he's offering

My hands fly off the steering wheel
Can't recall getting here
If I could, I would reach behind
And turn my light on
My thoughts run off the beaten track
There's no light
How's the way back
Take the hand of God and bite the feeder
No more lingering

This song from Darren Hayes' latest album, "This Delicate Thing We've Made", is achingly beautiful - it's been on repeat ever since I first listened to it four days ago. Just a couple evenings ago, I was sitting in my car in an empty, darkened parking lot with the engine running and the headlights turned off, as the haunting melody cut through what seemed at that moment (oh the irony!) to be an interminable silence.

I'm driving, I talk to God
He's screaming, I only nod
I need to be where you are
The leaves and trees are shaking
It's raining, the bullets melt
The hunger, of hunger itself
It's draining but pain has reservoirs
It keeps for itself

I'm falling, I'm not myself
I'm diving, I'm underneath
The huddle of a mighty ship
That steams away from here
The bubbles, the surface waves
They're shining, they replicate
I hear it
The voice of God is laced with
Sarcasm in your head

I'd give anything to retrace my footsteps and start all over again. I should have stayed, stopped to smell the roses, and bent over to retie my loose shoelace, before continuing on my way - instead of rushing along blindly and tumbling headfirst into a thorny bush after tripping over my undone sneaker.

My thoughts run off the beaten track
There's no light
How's the way back
Take the hand of God and bite the feeder
No more lingering

My hands fly off the steering wheel
Can't recall getting here
If I could, I would reach behind
And turn my light on

Sunday, January 13, 2008

i'll be calling your name as i float through your window

Today was a good day.

Benchmark WOD:
2000 m row

5 sets of 5 reps -
Front Squat
Overhead Squat

Finished my 2k row in 8:01.3, giving me a split of 2:00.3, which is better than I've ever done in my life, even when I was rowing for Michigan. I think my previous PR was 8:08 or so. I surprised even myself there! The squats were good as well. I worked up to 145# for my last set of 5 front squats, and up to 105# for my last set of 5 overhead squats. After that, I stayed behind to practice clean and jerks under Patrick's expert eye. My previous PR for the C&J was 125#, but I amazed myself once again when 130# went up without much difficulty. On my first attempt at a 135# C&J, I made the clean but missed the jerk. On my second try, though, I made both! And so now I have a PR of 135# for the C&J. Sweet. It's funny, because I took about a month off O-lifting as well as hardcore CrossFitting since returning to Singapore (where I did more middle-distance running and long swims, and only one CF WOD a day, which was more metcon and less strength-centric), and yet everything seems to have improved. I remember being slightly burnt out right before I left for Singapore, and so I cut back on the CF WODs while incorporating more endurance training. Maybe I've discovered what it is that makes me tick.

I only wish the rest of my life would sort itself out as nicely. I can't believe the number of times I've been hitting the "refresh" button today. It doesn't make any difference at all, I know it doesn't. Sigh.

We're driving
Just me and God
It's raining
It's raining hard
The windows
Are steaming up
The bridge
Engulfed by fog

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Darren Hayes - Sing To Me

You step behind a curtain
In a moment you were gone
Nothing's ever certain
And it's hard to carry on

This is not what we planned
And I know it's hard to understand
But if this isn't what you want then
If this isn't what you need
Pry my fingers from your hand

And maybe it's just meant to be
Maybe you'll find a way to haunt me
Come back and sing a melody to me

Maybe we're just lost at sea
Maybe I'm holding on to driftwood
And I'll be alright if you could
Sing to me
Sing to me

You step beneath the landslide
Nothing feels right when you're wrong
And try to find an upside
Try to sing without a song

This is not what we planned
And I know it's hard to understand
But if this isn't what you want then

And maybe it's just meant to be
Maybe you'll find a way to haunt me
Come back and sing a melody to me

Maybe we're just lost at sea
Maybe I'm holding on to driftwood
And I'll be alright if you could
Sing to me
Sing to me

I keep seeing flashes of your hands
When I close my eyes
And I don't know why
And I don't know why

Help me make sense of what I don't understand
'Cause I've gotta know why
I've gotta know why
Tell me
Why do you sing to me

And maybe it's just meant to be
That you would sing to me
Maybe we're just lost at sea
Could you come sing for me

And maybe it's just meant to be
Maybe we're just lost at sea
Would you come sing for me
Sing for me

Thursday, January 10, 2008

can't believe that i'm the fool again

i'm so tired. and upset. and disappointed. in myself.

tell me, what will it take to make you come back?

Saturday, January 05, 2008

that girl, stealing every daydream

Time in Singapore has gone by like a whirlwind. I can hardly wait to be back in Ann Arbor, though (despite the snowstorms, blustery winds and the thought of having to excavate my car from beneath the snow and ice). Last term as an undergraduate! I must treasure the remainder of my time in Ann Arbor, quite possibly the best college town in all of America. I know there'll be people who might be disinclined to agree, but personally I think Michigan has been an excellent fit for me. Go Blue!