It's been five months to the day...

... and I can finally bring myself to use this song, which pretty much says it all.

***
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say

And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

Daughtry - Over You

***

It's interesting how this year has worked itself out so far. Looking back, it was a simply godawful start to 2008. I really don't think it could have been any worse. I lost so many of the things I thought I had - when relationships crumbled for no apparent reason, when some people I treasured so much had other ideas and turned away from me, when I was forced to leave the gym that had been an important part of my life. Throw into the mix a thesis that had to be completed, cognates that had to be finished, and the stress of a final semester as a senior undergraduate. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Thank God for the friends who stuck by me and offered their support - those who actually listened to my sorry tales and were there for me as I oscillated from bitter and angry to hopeful and trying my darndest to be cheerful and back again. I'm so incredibly blessed to have friends like these. I'm thankful also for the myriad of opportunities that sprang up in the wake of all the forgettable incidents that happened. If it hadn't been for those incidents, I would never had have the chances to do some of the diverse things that I've managed to do, or meet some of the cool people I've met, in the recent months.

School ended up turning out well, the thesis was duly completed, I achieved most, if not all, that I had hoped to achieve academically. CrossFit and training-wise, I believe I've improved markedly in all aspects despite not training at an affiliate (excluding the occasional visit to Motor City CrossFit at Sterling Heights, an hour's drive from Ann Arbor). My athletic performances at drop-in visits at other affiliates when I travel are proof yet again that maybe I was wrong in thinking that I HAD to fork out $199 a month to be able to keep my CrossFit fire stoked. It really does boil down to individual motivation and desire, and that's something that no one can take away from me.

***
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb

oldies but goodies

Okay, so I discovered Leqi's stash of photos from junior college days, tucked away in the obscure crevices of the World Wide Web... thanks, partner!

Gao Shang's doing some sort of sexy shuffle in the middle, the look of disgust on Weiqi's face is priceless, can't tell what the heck Lydia is thinking, Mag looks like an agitated mother trying to keep her unruly child in check, both Leqi and Vania seem to be intensely fixated on the ground (or their toes, or each other's toes, for that matter) while Shine's beaming benevolently at an earthworm before she squashes it beneath her sandal, Carol looks as though she's about to fall asleep which is surprising, considering she's seldom awake in the first place, Zhen looks like she's stuffing a wadded medal ribbon up her nostrils, and Sheryl and I are wondering how we've ended up as the unlucky two on the ends of the photo (as everyone in our team is fully aware, standing at the ends has the unwanted effect of enlargement).

GS (cackling): "Hey, wanna see? ;)".
Zhen: "Thank you kindly, but we'd rather not".
Lydia: "Mmmmmmmmfffffgggghhhhhh".

Hangout @ Mt. Sinai (aka. the old RJC weight room, where I spent some of the best times of my life - an infinitely better place to be than in economics tutorial).

And the canoeists' table!

watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow

i was thinking of secondary school times and chuckled upon remembering how we wanted to form a band back then, in the height of the boyband craze and all the various teenybopper singers we used to listen to. if i'm not mistaken, we wanted to name ourselves "ten points offshore", though i can't quite recall the reason behind the name. good thing nothing ever came of it, though, because we realized that in its abbreviated form, tenPOS, it could quite easily be misinterpreted as "ten pieces of shit". hahaha. anyway, those days were fun. the days when i used to lug my guitar to school in lieu of a backpack (strange how we never seemed to study back then, don't you think?), where we would hang around in the classroom during recess poring over scores and lyrics and belting out songs. the times of my jordan knight craze (yes, i still think "give it to you" is a fab pop song, in case you were wondering). those were awesome times!

and i remember this song by bbmak was one of our favorites - in fact, it's a song i like very much still. sadly, it rings pretty true as well.

***
what am i supposed to do
with all these blues
haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
i can't let go
when will this night be over

i didn't mean to fall in love with you
and baby, there's a name for what you put me through
it isn't love, it's robbery
i'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
phantom ships, lost at sea
and one of them is mine
raising my glass, i sing a toast to the midnight sky
i wonder why
the stars don't seem to guide me

the ghost of you and me
when will it set me free
i hear the voices call
following footsteps down the hall
trying to save what's left of my heart and soul
***

Memories

想回到过去
试著抱你在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
想看你的看的世界
想在你梦的画面
只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜

想回到过去
试著让故事继续
至少不再让你离我而去

分散时间的注意
这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知
还来不来得及
想回到过去

Memories from the past...
- Yami Yogurt, Subway subs, ban mian (and cheese fries... oh the horror) times after training at the basement of Suntec
- Getting hit by shampoo and soap bottles being tossed blindly between cubicles at the National Stadium showers
- Sprinting 200 yards from the stadium to the bus stop to catch Bus no. 16 to Suntec, because if we missed it we'd have to wait forever
- RJC 13
- Doing weights at the National Stadium Clubfitt before water training and regretting it immensely afterwards
- Cold Milo at the coffeeshop near old SDBA
- Canal routes with Weiqi (remember the time we smoked it because we were running at top speed and neither of us dared to admit to the other that we were about to perish)
- Lat pulldowns in the RJC weights room with GS's ponytail in my mouth (uggghhhh)
- Jiaolian making us swim across Kallang Basin - which saw most of us floundering helplessly from one end to the other
- Banana bread and Glucolin before races
- Practicing race starts in the pouring rain
- Visualizing races to the sound of Justin's voice, using sticks as paddles and benches as kayaks, in the RJC sports hall
- Being tekan-ed by the seniors during canoeing camp who made us hold the pushup position for what seemed like an eternity
- Alcoholic (and not so boozy) smoothies at the place in Millenia Walk which I can't remember the name of
- Rummaging through the pile of life jackets in search of the one marked RJC 10 and for Leqi's tattered Bananaman life jacket
- Shaun Ho making us run endless rounds around the school track
- Our team runs - drinking Milo right before the canal route gave me the worst stitch of my life; 20 rounds around the track and Vania having to make frequent pitstops at the sports block toilet to poop
- Stoning at the canoeing table before assembly
- My locker as a common gathering place and dumping ground for valuables
- Tubes and tubes of sunblock, an abundance of caps and visors, and not-so-glamorous canoeing jersey tans
- Spying on other schools' K2 pairs and trying to guess the lineups for competitions
- Raffles Canoiest (this speaks for itself)
- Photos being stolen from our canoeing board (none of Vania's were stolen, she was understandably dismayed)
- Machine Rowing championships and beating the track&field people
- Team dinners and desserts being consumed in twenty seconds flat by twelve ravenous canoeists
- Jiaolian (as well as us all) extremely amused at Lydia's hairdos
- Being unlucky at dragonboat races
- Lots of sharksfin soup for supper at Zhen's house courtesy of Carol Chan and her aunt's restaurant
- Walking for an eternity before deciding on a place to have drinks and chill after Nats
- Staying over at the suite in Pan Pacific and being relegated to the floor for the night because someone fell asleep, occupying the entire bed
- Shine's perpetual niceness (until she called someone 'stupid' once, hahahahaha)
- Two-star course at Changi/Pasir Ris and engaging in an potentially injurious game of no-holds-barred Canoe Polo (ha ha)
- Long walks and talks with my K2 partner and treasured friend (you know how much you will always mean to me) - remember how we got scolded by Huilin once for disappearing? Lol.
- Unashamedly capitalizing on the free bread provided by Cafe Cartel
- Philip's polaroid photo of us pre-Nats (we were young then)
- Soccer with the canoeing guys on the RJC field
- GS' skirt with the multiple zips (wink wink)
- Lydia capsizing when Kay Wee canoed past and how she had a chronic crush on just about every J2 guy
- GS's idea of a nude calendar with strategically-placed paddles and lifejackets covering the important bits (if I recall correctly, she volunteered to be cover girl)
- Replacing the sliced bananas on Carol Chan's waffles at Cafe Cartel with the ones we had left over from dragonboat competition!


This list will grow as I recall more fond memories!

Fight Gone Bad II & Carol's Birthday!

Fight Gone Bad II Participants at Hyperfit USA! Hooyah!
FGB went really well. I smashed my previous PB of 378 (set a week ago during a FGB dry run) to get 435. I had no idea 400 was within reach - I was initially gunning for 380 today. Having calculated and formulated my pre-FGB strategy, it seemed as though 400 points was practically unimaginable. Apparently it wasn't. It's funny - my original goal, right after the first time I ever did FGB, was just to make 300, because during my very first FGB on June 30th I only managed 283 points. But when I next did a FGB dry run in early September, I got 358 points. What a leap! Considering that professional fighters in the UFC are typically expected to hit 350 points, I'll take 435 any time. I spluttered, gasped, and wheezed my way through the last round knowing that 400 points was in the bag, because I somehow managed to rake up 303 points in the first 2 rounds alone, by riding the crest of adrenaline that permeated the entire gym, with people cheering their partners on and the fervor at an all-time high. It was amazing. We also managed to raise over $22,000.00 this year, all for a great cause. I'm so happy I took part. The only thorny issue is how I'm supposed to top 435 next year, which seems ridiculously difficult unless I pump myself full of steroids and and O/D on Red Bulls and caffeine, neither of which I'm planning on doing.

Tonight, I had dinner at Yotsuba Japanese Restaurant (just off Washtenaw, past US-23 heading towards Ypsi, right on Golfside) with perhaps the most eclectic group of people (Hyperfit USA groupies) I've had the good fortune of meeting. The occasion was my friend's birthday - she turned 49 today, and she celebrated by scoring 252 points in the Fight Gone Bad II Fundraiser earlier this morning. Another friend and I orchestrated the entire surprise by gathering as many people as we could from Hyperfit USA and making sure everyone, all twenty people, showed up at 6:00 pm to await our unsuspecting birthday victim.

It's Carol (center)'s birthday - her husband, Steve, calls us three - I, Carol, and Ceren (L-R) the Bounty Hunters. Hahaha!

We dug into massive amounts of food. My table (eight of us) went berserk (FOOOD! Food after Fight Gone Bad always rocks) and merrily ticked off 19 rolls on the sushi order list - mercifully, the waiter foresaw imminent self-destruction caused by wanton overconsumption and informed us that we ought to take some of them off the list. True enough, we ate till we were stuffed and still the rolls kept coming. Oddly enough, they all seemed to feature eel in some form or permutation, and those of us who had never sampled eel before quickly discovered whether or not they were to have an affinity for it. Despite the surfeit of rolls and being overly-satiated to the point of drowsiness, everyone still managed to find room for the chocolate-frosted raspberry white cake studded with M&Ms that Ceren had baked for the momentous occasion. Everyone enjoyed themselves immensely and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have met these wonderful people. Get some, go again!

***
<<龙卷风>>

作曲: 周杰伦
作词: 徐若瑄

爱像一阵风 吹完它就走
这样的节奏 谁都无可奈何
没有你以后 我灵魂失控
黑云在降落 我被它拖著走

静静悄悄默默离开
陷入了危险边缘
我的世界已狂风暴雨

爱情来的太快就像龙卷风
离不开暴风圈 来不及逃
我不能再想 我不能再想
我不 我不 我不能

爱情走的太快就像龙卷风
不能承受 我已无处可躲
我不要再想 我不要再想
我不 我不 我不要再想你

不知不觉 你已经离开我
不知不觉 我跟了这节奏
后知后觉 又过了一个秋
后知后觉 我该好好生活
***