Monday, June 09, 2008

It's been five months to the day...

... and I can finally bring myself to use this song, which pretty much says it all.
***
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say

And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you


Daughtry - Over You

***
It's interesting how this year has worked itself out so far. Looking back, it was a simply godawful start to 2008. I really don't think it could have been any worse. I lost so many of the things I thought I had - when relationships crumbled for no apparent reason, when some people I treasured so much had other ideas and turned away from me, when I was forced to leave the gym that had been an important part of my life. Throw into the mix a thesis that had to be completed, cognates that had to be finished, and the stress of a final semester as a senior undergraduate. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Thank God for the friends who stuck by me and offered their support - those who actually listened to my sorry tales and were there for me as I oscillated from bitter and angry to hopeful and trying my darndest to be cheerful and back again. I'm so incredibly blessed to have friends like these. I'm thankful also for the myriad of opportunities that sprang up in the wake of all the forgettable incidents that happened. If it hadn't been for those incidents, I would never had have the chances to do some of the diverse things that I've managed to do, or meet some of the cool people I've met, in the recent months.

School ended up turning out well, the thesis was duly completed, I achieved most, if not all, that I had hoped to achieve academically. CrossFit and training-wise, I believe I've improved markedly in all aspects despite not training at an affiliate (excluding the occasional visit to Motor City CrossFit at Sterling Heights, an hour's drive from Ann Arbor). My athletic performances at drop-in visits at other affiliates when I travel are proof yet again that maybe I was wrong in thinking that I HAD to fork out $199 a month to be able to keep my CrossFit fire stoked. It really does boil down to individual motivation and desire, and that's something that no one can take away from me.

***
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb

5 comments:

Spider63 said...

I am sorry to hear about all of your difficulties. I have had many also. I hope that my limited encouragement has been helpful. I appreciate your encouragement.

I would like to read about why you were forced to leave the gym. If you have a link, please post it. I had to stop going to a gym once because it went out of business after I had just paid for three year membership!

Michael Barcas said...

Ugh! Gym was my last resort whenever I munch down calories of BigMacs..


But sweating down is pushing me more,

Gee, I have had learned so much about your blogs..

At least I'm not a strained gymjunkie,

but a legit gym ants willing to push and to eat some more power (tasteless) Powerbars!!

Thank you!!

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