It's been five months to the day...

... and I can finally bring myself to use this song, which pretty much says it all.

***
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say

And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running a long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

Daughtry - Over You

***

It's interesting how this year has worked itself out so far. Looking back, it was a simply godawful start to 2008. I really don't think it could have been any worse. I lost so many of the things I thought I had - when relationships crumbled for no apparent reason, when some people I treasured so much had other ideas and turned away from me, when I was forced to leave the gym that had been an important part of my life. Throw into the mix a thesis that had to be completed, cognates that had to be finished, and the stress of a final semester as a senior undergraduate. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Thank God for the friends who stuck by me and offered their support - those who actually listened to my sorry tales and were there for me as I oscillated from bitter and angry to hopeful and trying my darndest to be cheerful and back again. I'm so incredibly blessed to have friends like these. I'm thankful also for the myriad of opportunities that sprang up in the wake of all the forgettable incidents that happened. If it hadn't been for those incidents, I would never had have the chances to do some of the diverse things that I've managed to do, or meet some of the cool people I've met, in the recent months.

School ended up turning out well, the thesis was duly completed, I achieved most, if not all, that I had hoped to achieve academically. CrossFit and training-wise, I believe I've improved markedly in all aspects despite not training at an affiliate (excluding the occasional visit to Motor City CrossFit at Sterling Heights, an hour's drive from Ann Arbor). My athletic performances at drop-in visits at other affiliates when I travel are proof yet again that maybe I was wrong in thinking that I HAD to fork out $199 a month to be able to keep my CrossFit fire stoked. It really does boil down to individual motivation and desire, and that's something that no one can take away from me.

***
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb

almost done

Brought my Rogue rings to a playground at one of the elementary schools in Ann Arbor, tossed the straps over (ironically enough) a mounted ring set, and worked on some ring skills this morning. Rings are humbling! I'll post more when I have some time...

As of now, only my history final tomorrow stands between me and the end of my undergraduate career... but I still have four more chapters to study. Die.

***
Well, I’m not paralyzed
But I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

thesis schmesis

I'd take another chance
Take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)

Looking at a year-and-a-half's worth of work in the form of a neatly-bound 132-page thesis, I can say it's been quite an experience. Especially the last week or so. On Sunday (the day before the thesis was due) I spent sixteen straight hours slogging away in the Angell Hall Computing Site, lovingly christened the Fishbowl (that's one of the biggest computing sites on campus, for the uninitiated). It was only then when I fully realized why it was nicknamed the Fishbowl - particularly true in the wee hours of the morning, because everyone pretty much has eyes that are glazed over from the lack of sleep, compounded by staring at a computer screen for hours on end. I emerged from the Fishbowl at 4:00 am finally with my four printed copies, went home, got into my car and drove to the FedEx Kinko's down on State to get the theses bound (24-hour Kinko's are the best thing ever).

I both love and loathe Microsoft Office Word 2007. It was pretty cool when I discovered that there was such a tool as an automatic content page generator, but not half as cool when the formatting kept screwing up when I tried to add my final heading for the reference list to the content sheet. I could correct it on Word itself, but whenever I tried to print or convert it to a PDF file, it'd automatically recorrect (or rewrong, given the circumstances) itself. It drove me nuts, and I finally gave up on amending it on the computer, resorting instead to a most primitive method to make the amendment. I won't elaborate on what I did, save to say that it was a most ingenious solution that involved a wad of chewed gum, a sheet on which the amendment I had wanted to include was printed, and a photocopier. Well, you couldn't tell the difference, in any case! :)

Anyway, so Sunday was only the second all-nighter I've pulled in my undergraduate college experience to date. The first was for a polsci paper almost exactly a year ago. I don't recommend it, but I think it's a staple part of many students' lives. I value my sleep too much to make this a habit!

Well, it's not over yet - my thesis defense is scheduled for next Tuesday. Exactly a week from today I'll have to stand in front of a panel and attempt to be an expert on politics in Singapore. Hopefully that goes well!