ah shit whatever am i doing up at this unholy hour blogging. heheh. a phygeog test tomorrow and i'm positive that i'm gonna flunk it. jus don't seem to be able to absorb any geomo stuff. wasn't like that for hydro... i jus don't get it. wtf.

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when we take our clothes off
don't you know the world stops
when we touch when we kiss
when we shut up for a moment turn out the light
we are reminded by the one thing forget how to fight
you and me or nothing cuz we got tonight
when we touch when we kiss
when we shut up
it just had to be you

nick lachey shut up
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dammit i'm currently addicted to this song. the chorus and pre-chorus are damn nice la. some other songs that i can't get out of my mind now:

craig david spanish
dreamz fm should i stay
don richmond bent ( i can't download this anywhere! dammit!)
jason mraz the remedy
santana & alex band why don't you and i

had a drive driven by your love
but when you messed around i lost the drive i found
thought you needed needed someone true
but you changed your mind or had i failed you

wished you've been careful with my heart
but you tore it apart and broke an angel's heart
i guess what's true has an end somehow
but i am living proof of what love is about

it's hard holding you loving you losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know i gotta go wanna know
should i stay or should i go

you played me on played me like a clown
but i feel for you even though i'm down
my heart is heavy heavy like a rock
but i am so amused you're still in my thoughts

what's done is done and i'll never feel the same
but we had some good times guess it's sad just the same
i guess the truth doesn't matter somehow
but you were living proof of what love is about

dreamz fm should i stay

screw project work man!
and balls i still don't have the guts! but i guess i was rather sad when i heard what she said yesterday. well i guess there's hope if it's "for now"... heh hopefully. shit i've fallen, and hard.

wah shit if i dont do pw now mengxin's gonna screw me upside down tomorrow. blog sometime later haha :)

nationals on for the past three days. as usual, nj swept both the guys and girls titles with 60++ points. nah no surprise. but it was pretty good, enjoying the sun sea and sand for those couple of days. had scf today. rowed t2 500m with carol. she had to replace mag for t1 500m at the last minute and i was damn worried that she'd be too tired to row well for t2 later. but gawd was it good. first for heats and straight to finals tomorrow. man i love the fcuk NJ boat. haha. as usual i was shouting like hell while rowing like when we did dragonboat earlier. i dunno i jus have to shout it kinda helps me row faster too. that's why i like 2-crew boats so i have someone to shout at because it gets pretty stupid shouting at yourself haha.

anyway i was damn pleased with t2 today we managed to shoot forward and grab a commanding lead in the beginning so we could afford to slack a little at the end. haha. towards the finishing line i was suggesting that maybe we could jus "glide through" and stop paddling. heheh. damn good hope finals are even better tomorrow. think im gonna take some creatine before the race.

not bad we did better than expected. both the girls' team's t1s and k1s are into finals, besides me and carol's t2. but the guys didn't do too well. heads up man at least you guys tried your best. we are gonna take the guys and girls titles for nationals next year man.

tomorrow's the open events as well. hope the j2s do well. especially lay may and huilin who came down to support us today! you go man! yeah!

gryphon canoeists go, row, get the flow.

hey in the media centre now ha. kinda stoned i really should be at chinese now but i got aaahhnnndrew to tell laoshi that i was off to canoeing. hope i don't bump into her later yeah. hopefully gonna donate blood later. i don't think it hurts, really. everyone keeps taking second looks at me because of my hair. well anyway i hope thats good. haha how nice of abs to say that i look "DAMN good!!!" im so flattered man thanks lots! ;) as long as KC looks good hah. yeah anyway.

i think i kinda blew my chance. shit she was in the library jus now but i didn't do anything about that! it was like a golden opportunity and as usual i passed it by. ha. shit where are my fucking guts i hate this it's like i wanna go up to her and say something but i'm jus too afraid. shoot. how??

anyway yeah wonderful sharon's gonna teach me how to change templates. im sucha friggin loser i don't even know how to use a template from somewhere else. in a rather self-depreciating mood today oh well. yay sharon taught me how to change template. she rocks man.

ah well.
it's been quite confusing. what should i do now? all this is fucking getting to me... awww this sucks. i don't know whether it'll work out man. i want it to!

desperate for changing
starving for truth
closer where i started
chasing after you

i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

forgetting all i'm lacking
completely incomplete
i'll take your invitation
you take all of me

i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

i'm living for the only thing i know
i'm running and not quite sure where to go
i don't know what i'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you

hanging by a moment l i f e h o u s e

hey haven't blogged for a long time. jus finished common tests today- geog as the last paper. hope i manage to pass at least two subjects! shit if not i'll be suspended from canoeing. but i think passing two shouldn't be a problem. at least, i think.

went to town after last paper today with lingli guan and cheryl. spent most of our time slacking in far east after a heated debate over whether to watch finding nemo or charlie's angels. in the end we didn't watch either, but jus as well since i've already watched nemo twice and have no vested interest in the angels.

saw lots of people- an entire barrage of cjcians and later a multitude of other-jc-people. lots of njcians too heh. splurged 42bucks on a nike no bounds dri-fit shirt. shit damn spendthrift i tell you. oh well. ya thats all for now i guess.

aahh trace you owe me something now man ;)

hey wow i found the nj 35th sc website haha. it's accessible from the nj webpage and it's got summer nights dance instructions! now if only they'd put up instructions for this year's mass dance as well... yeah and ahem haha a certain 5th house rep hailing from solaris has managed to get himself prominently displayed on the front of the nj Integrated Programme design sheet... hmmm. ;)

third water training yesterday. did time in a t1 and was doing 2k warmups around 12+ when i saw the nj j2s in spanking new crafts. think nj's got new boats or something. the new crafts look damn cool- shiny and brightly painted and all. they even have yellow ks! i think they're ignoring me but i guess i understand why. oh well.

capped in the darned t1 while doing 30 hard strokes. was feeling quite accomplished for only having capped in a t1 once, back in nj, then mag cut into my lane. i momentarily lost control and went under. shit. gee the rain yesterday was real heavy. especially when we were rowing in the direction away from sdba- the hard droplets kept pelting my face and i couldn't half see. as usual, direction was screwed up. hah.

but at least i tried my hand at a k2 for the first time. when i first got into it it was so damned unstable and i kept thinking that lyd and i would probably cap in no time at all, but we managed to row about 2k and back without capping! abit wobbly but still. haha. at least my capping record for ks stands at zilch. hahaha.



you say one thing
and then i go turning around again
working things over better left unsaid
spinning around in my head
taking a moment too personally

i have told you
just half the words
i've wanted to get to you
fear of rejection keeps my heart at bay
feelings i'd rather not say
i'd rather have you close
than never at all

but every now and then
when my world is closing in
i feel you breezing through my mind
i can attempt to close my eyes
i can avoid the wrong or right
but something deep inside says
my heart wants what it wants

darren hayes the heart wants what it wants

went for first water training yesterday. i forgot whether we were supposed to meet at 10, or 10:15, or 10:30am at kallang mrt. didn't dare to be late because i remembered hearing rumors that for every 5 min we were late, we would have to do 50 pushups. so i reached kallang mrt at 9:55am and waited for a very long 35 minutes for the next canoeist to come. shit. no wonder i thought 10am was a little extreme.

went for first water training yesterday. i forgot whether we were supposed to meet at 10, or 10:15, or 10:30am at kallang mrt. didn't dare to be late because i remembered hearing rumors that for every 5 min we were late, we would have to do 50 pushups. so i reached kallang mrt at 9:55am and waited for a very long 35 minutes for the next canoeist to come. shit. no wonder i thought 10am was a little extreme.

it's kinda stifling at home. got nothing very much to do. i've finished revising two chapters of econs! hah! now there's only elasticity of demand left. it's rather strange, actually. just when o2's finished and i was hoping to get a chance to know my new class in rj better- there's this enforced holiday thing. which doesn't really help my cause but still- sheesh.

wonder what everyone else is doing? i think most people are grounded too shucks. was actually hoping for a 03A01 outing next week to breeks or something like that but have a feeling that most won't be able to turn up. what's the point of a holiday when you can't go out? hmmm really shouldn't be complaining but this is how i feel.

jus heard from iso that nj o2 was a blast. well at least the 2nd day of o2 was a blast. haha that's real cool! kudos to the o2 committee and all the o2 ogls heheh. apparently there were lotsa water games and stuff? man we didn't have those in o1. but still- glad to see that o2 in nj was a success! :] returned on monday since rj finished early- met up with shiyu zhiwei winnie liwei and revisited our old class! damn cool man. long live 03A01. did lots of nice cheers that i'd half forgotten about like the rip and roar cheer- and of course my two favorite cheers, the red and white cheer and the yaaaahhhh cheer!

hahaha and of course the fab mass dance- and i still can't get some of the moves for "the tide is high". hey man some of you njcians better teach me sometime haha. think nic, jiing shyuan and mervyn (the aqua house capt) were quite surprised to see me back. hopefully it was a pleasant surprise haha. mervyn even thought that i wasn't in nj any longer because i couldn't get in, and urged me to appeal till i managed to tell him that it wasn't because i couldn't get in. heheh.

went for a walk round nj with liwei while the njcians were having og session. one of the walks we normally have, like after basketball training or something. but this time it was different. no longer a student of the school. the memories will always be cherished. man the three months were one of the best times of my life.

haven't posted for quite awhile! well anyway i've got all the time in the world on my hands now- due to the week-and-a-half-long break caused by the sars outbreak. it's pretty serious, much more than i expected it to be. jus a simple prayer that the viral outbreak will be stemmed as soon as possible and the sick will be healed completely.

the glorious three months at njc have finally come to an end. i have pretty mixed feelings about it- part of me wishes i'd never put down rj as my first choice, especially after looking at all the photos i've amassed over these three months. however the other part of me feels that it's good that i've named raffles as my first choice, because i still owe miss teo two e.lit assignments -shhhhh. but you weren't supposed to know that.

six points! hardy har har! six A1s, two A2s and two B3s, inclusive of '01's chinese. guess it's okay, but maybe i got my hopes a little too high. well actually thinking back i shouldn't have expected much from chem and phy (my A2 subjects) since i'd only completed selected chapters from the textbooks when i sat for the Os. :] s-l-a-c-k-e-r. yes i know.

but overall i'm okay with my results. not ecstatically happy, since i've got this nagging feeling that i could have pushed myself a little bit harder and finished mugging those two sciences and perhaps get two more ones. but it's over and done with. oh wellus. one milestone behind me.

and now i'm faced with the dilemma of whether to stay in njc or leave for rj! it's not a question of patriotism/ passion/ love for the school -ahem- here, since i'd definitely pick nj any time over rj then. but the thing is, as zhiwei has mentioned several times, that there is definitely a difference between the standards of these two colleges, which is especially evident in e.lit. and i don't feel challenged enough in nj e.lit, to tell the truth. (though i'm very challenged in physical geography, which i know absolutely nothing about. sucks to combined humans) and ever since the rj open house i've wanted to go to rjc! gee- the atmosphere seems pretty lively and all. awww shucks i can't decide. leaving nj means forfeiting my chances of council, and i know i stand a pretty good chance at gaining the humans scholarship there as contrasted to rj. maaaaaan i'm in all of a dither.

and i've grown used to and adapted to people in njc- and even gotten to know a substantial number of councillors and house reps. talk about politics for campaigning. ;) oh and before i forget- nick foo's handshake has a marvelous effect on my bball shooting abilities. he joined us for a spot of bball after school on thurs- and jus before he left he came over to me, extended his palm to shake my hand, pat my arm and wish me "all the best for your results tomorrow". haha and my next coupla shots went in! heh.

oh yeah my friend just called and told me that in rjc the students are so smart that the teachers sit round and have tea breaks all day. is that true?

i got accosted after school by canoeists- which kinda ruined my day. earlier, i kind of thought that i had gotten everything worked out fine- that i'd announce my plan of quitting canoeing tomorrow morning together with peiling, so i'd be able to run for council with no worries. well anyway it didn't turn out like that. coming down the grandstand to meet jingying for touch- i wanted to try it out- i bumped into vivienne and some ex-canoeist girl called tanny or something. and they were coercing me into not quitting canoeing- saying stuff like we need you for T1 or K2 and we've already included you for SDBA competition and stuff like that. haha but one thing good about all that is that it makes you feel all-important and needed and very in control. ;) but that's not the point.


and to make things worse- they called two other seniors over and continued their tactics of making me stay in canoeing. so it went on and on for about half an hour, i think. and i've realised that canoeists in general quite detest student councillors- gosh minyan was quite brash about the SC which made me feel even worse- knowing that i'll probably be hated by the canoeists when i run for council. darn!

a very pissed me then retreated to the canteen after managing to shake off the canoeists with half-hearted promises that i'd tell them my decision by tomorrow. supposed to meet liwei to discuss the hssrp proposal but didn't have the mood for it, and entirely neglected the fact that i was supposed to go for touch practice too. but im really thankful for kelvin and this house rep, stella who came over then and they gave me some guidance on how to deal with my situation. i mean, hearing it from a councillor himself and a house rep- it makes you feel better cause you know that these are people who've gone through the process before.

quite looking forward to the reunion at ms. lee's house tomorrow- it's been quite a while since i've seen some of my ex-classmates! like you, sam! and huiyuan! the other hy i know! but that's another story. ;) well i hope it'll be fun. and that we'll all enjoy ourselves. and have a great time. yeah.

saw mr barber today for hssrp stuff. quite a number of us are pretty interested in it. but i'm not sure whether i'll be staying in arts or science- so i can't exactly make my decision. one of the projects that appears rather appealing is the one titled "political participation in singapore". and there's another one about the European Union, which sounds kinda good too. wellus. and i brought the book of hssrp reports we received a couple of years back during a symposium which we apparently went to. and barber was most delighted to see a paper titled "tourism and sustainable development"- realised it was on page twenty-seven, and eagerly rifled the pages to get there. geography teachers are all like that.

played a spot of basketball in the afternoon while waiting for huifang and liwei to end their general studies lesson at three. at least the teacher was so kind as to release them early- which is probably the case when you have only two students in your class and two hours face-to-face (especially with SUCH people ;) ) with them is more than enough to drive you nuts. oh yeah! and before i forget- liwei had a massive sneezing fit during math c lecture today, which caused miss chan to cock her head enquiringly at the commotion at the back of the LT, and ask very politely, amidst our stifled giggles, whether she would like to leave the LT. who wouldn't? so she did. heh.

those NJcians reading this- present and perhaps, even, future- VOTE ME FOR COUNCIL! heh! you've heard me at speakers' corner and you know i'm an extremely pro-NJ person! hahahaa! just taking this opportunity to plug my prospective campaign. oh yeah i'm campaigning with liwei- y'know, two for the price of one. that sorta thing. and theresa has been appointed our campaign manager! ha ha! yay.

hey! im in barber's geog lesson now, but you're not supposed to tell him that. well actually im multi-tasking- trying to source pictures of the costa del sol, AND typing this. sheesh i think i ate too much during lunch. darn. i shouldn't eat this kind of thing again. but we have a free period later, just after geog. and guess what we're gonna do? we're gonna play bball! heh heh. i hope i don't get certain ex-classmates jealous. ;)

i still haven't found a darned picture of the spanish beaches. awwww shucks.

mr barber's asked all of us where we plan to go after the Os results are released- and the unanimous response was that we'd all stay where we were. and he went "what'd happen if raffles... or whatever that place is(HAHA!) invited you over?" no prizes for guessing what we said! ;)

yeah! i wholeheartedly agree with thee, alexis! HWA CHONG mass dance CANNOT MAKE IT! heh heh. and like you, i feel bad about saying this, but it's true! sorry, all the hwa chongians out there-- :] i mean, like, yeah, nj mass dance this year is pretty tight- with the seven-minute combination of songs, which is damn funky. and to have nick foo teach it- man that's super. cuz he can really dance. and i really mean that. he's got tha groove!

chinese new year? pretty uneventful. first day devoted to visiting the hordes of father's godbrothers and godsisters and mother's sisters and brothers and second cousins and all that. you know, those relatives whom you see like, once a year during cny. yup. well at least there was a bountiful harvest in terms of hongbaos. so that's not too bad. :þ

back to school tomorrow, after a long weekend. it's kinda peculiar- i actually look forward to going back to college. i don't know why- i seem to be quite enjoying the college life. and of course there are the friends and the classmates and the cca mates and all the cool folks i see round each day. man i enjoy school. :] at least for now. been in constant contact with liwei during the three days of cny, through smsing. gosh i think i've used a Great Many messages in the short period of 72 hours. shit. i shall have to abstain.