Hey I know many of you guys are probably up to your ears in mugging, in particular because it's the exam period for most universities now. So read this if you're feeling somewhat peckish and/or have a fetish for food that makes you moan with pleasure (you'll get what I mean when you click on that link). It's a pretty good diversion. Anyway that site is awesome, go back and check it out more if you've the time. I wish I could start a blog like that but in doing so I'd probably just end up ridiculously poor and disgustingly oversized so I don't believe I'll give it a try. Haha.

Despite the frosty weather and biting cold, I'll be making the trek down State Street, and then a right on East Hoover- together with the throngs of Michigan fans who, like me, are heading down to the Big House to witness what perhaps is the most anticipated matchup in college football- Michigan vs. Ohio State. I didn't think I'd be able to get a decently-priced ticket to the game, seeing that it's the most hyped game in the Big Ten, due to the fact that it showcases one of the longest-standing and most intense rivalries between two of the country's top footballing programs. It'll be broadcast nationwide on both ABC and ESPN, because it's just about the most important event happening this Saturday. But thankfully, somehow I found another Singaporean who was selling his ticket and I manged to get it for a pretty good price considering what others are generally selling theirs at (around USD$80-$100, if you're wondering). This will be only my second time attending a football game- the first was against Northern Illinois, which pales drastically in comparison to the clash of the titans that I'll be fortunate to witness tomorrow. It's time to Blue Out!

Here's the message that's been circulating throughout campus thanks primarily to facebook.com:
***
On Saturday, in addition to wearing all BLUE, bring some loose change and an unopened water bottle into the Stadium. "Clear, sealed, plastic water bottles" are specifically permitted items. Once inside, drink the water (it's good for you), put the coins in the bottle, and cap the bottle. On EVERY single Ohio State offensive possession, shake the bottle like crazy with 20,000 other students to create the loudest Big House environment in history! Collectively, we can and will affect the outcome of this game.

With the nation's collective attention focused on Ann Arbor, Michigan, this weekend- we have the opportunity to showcase the extremely positive experience we know and love as MICHIGAN FOOTBALL SATURDAYS. Let's do so with the respect and class that we often say characterizes our fine institution. Wake up early. Dress in ALL BLUE. Congregate in anticipation. Arrive at the game early. Hold on to your bottle for the entire game (no ND repeats) and shake it like crazy. Cheer, rattle, and Hail loudly the entire game. Celebrate!

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

GO BLUE!
***

What can I blog about today? I don't know. Today marked the start of Winter practice proper- which I know is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever been through in my life. I hope I'm ready for it. Erg practice was disappointing this afternoon- I know by relative standards I probably don't have a reason to feel that way, but this time it's so much more than just splits or times or anything that can be logically measured. It's about the threshold of pain and tolerance and mental tenacity.

We were given a Level One workout to do today (A Level One workout is a workout that's performed at intensities of 95%-105% of competitive 2k pace, so, as expected, they are extremely demanding and require significant recovery to realize their full benefits)- in essence, it's interval training; extremely high intensities over short distances, with very short rest periods, usually roughly equal to the time you take to pull the distance. The workout comprised 8 x 500m at a split approximately 10 seconds below our split for the latest 6k trial we did, which would mean that my split for the 500m pieces would have to be around a 2:01min/500m.

First five pieces went pretty well- my times ranged from between 1:56 to 1:59 per 500m piece. But the last three pieces were plainly awful, where my splits went up to 2:04 even. It was extremely frustrating because I'd start each 500m piece pretty decently, sustaining a 1:56min split, but when it all came down to the last 250m, or about 35-40 strokes, I'd just lose it entirely and the numbers'd just leap by about a whole 10 seconds to 2:06min or something equally inexcusable and I'd never be able to get it back down to where I was prior to that.

Maybe my stroke rate was too high- I've to compensate for my height by pulling at a faster stroke rate; for many of the pieces I was pulling at 35 strokes per minute, and my rate went up to 40 once, which is just about insane and something I recommend you try if you'd like to experience a sensation akin to what a fish out of water goes through; and so it was hard to sustain that speed. But of course I can have excuses and more excuses and they won't hide the fact that perhaps I could have pushed harder, just that I didn't. Dying at the last 250m for the last 3 pieces was plainly inexcusable, and I'm totally on myself for that now. I just hope the next practice will be better.

Philip left a comment here that it was far better to burn out than to fade away. I agree entirely with that, notwithstanding the fact that at the rate I'm going I think I will just about burn out someday. Like today. Take a look at my schedule for the day.

1. Weights with the team at 6:30-7:45am in our gorgeous state-of-the-art Michigan Varsity Athletics weights room (the machines are all blue in line with Michigan colors; it's spacious, and in no way whatsoever crowded with the stupid hairy grunting men you see just about everywhere else; at the end of every workout, we enter our information into the computers in the gym, which then generate our weights programs for the subsequent session, which is way cool)
2. Take Commuter North down to North Campus with Katie McKee for our German 101 class that begins at 8am, a 15-minute bus ride.
3. Leave German class 5 minutes earlier to rush down on the Bursley-Baits bus to the Modern Languages Building for my Great Books Lecture at 9am.
4. Try my darndest to stay awake for Great Books, and much to my surprise, manage to, but subsequently subside into a peaceful slumber during Anthropology Lecture despite the highly entertaining professor and the topic of the day being Sexuality and Gender (you would've thought anyone'd stay awake during such a lecture).
5. Weights by myself at the CCRB (accompanied by the aforementioned obligatory stupid hairy grunting men) at 11.30am.
6. Lunch! I love Lunch! At South Quad at 1.15pm.
7. Great Books discussion at 2pm where we go over "History of the Peloponnesian War" by Thucydides, which is entirely out of my element, but whatever.
8. Go back to South Quad and get some PoliSci reading in till 4:10pm.
9. Head down to the IM Building for afternoon ergometer practice at 4:30pm, and duly perish.
10. Dinner! I magically resurrect from the dead and discover untapped sources of energy at the very mention of Dinner! Yumyumyumyum. At South Quad at 6:30pm.
11. Back to homework and more PoliSci readings at 7.30pm, interspersed with blogging and emails at random intervals, all the way till bedtime at 11pm.
12. Wake up tomorrow at 6am (HOPEFULLY I manage to drag my lazy ass out of bed) and trudge to the CCRB in the gloomy wetness (40% chance of snow tomorrow, eeuurrgghhhh), and do my own enforced erg workout.

And spend Wednesday in a manner similar to how I've just finished my Tuesday. Haha. Oh but tomorrow is excellent though, because it's Thanksgiving dinner at all the dorm dining halls- I shall list the menu for you to drool over:
***
Cranberry Punch
Grilled Pork Chops
Roast Turkey
Roasted Vegetable Strudel
Seafood Primevera
Bread Dressing
Whipped Potatoes
Whole Green Beans
Whole Kernel Corn
Dinner Rolls
Apple Cranberry Pie
Mocha Pecan Pie
Pumpkin Pie (Golly! I've always wanted to try Pie! This is amazing!)
Whipped Topping
***
Okay tomorrow seems like it's gonna be a great day. Dinner will be my motivation for tomorrow's cross-training workout in the afternoon.

Here's a quote to mull over, given to me by my dearest coxswain Julie as a word of encouragement. I hope it works for you- yes, you, dear reader, who's lasted long enough through my rantings to see this. I'm going to use it to keep me going. Stay strong! I know things might not be going the best they could possibly be- but hang in there and always remember that you are destined for greater things.
***
Our greatest glory consists not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME

To those of you who think I must be plainly out of my mind when I chose calloused palms, waking up at godforsaken hours, the unmistakable whoosh of the erg flywheel, and the clang of weight plates, over the uneventful life of the typical college kid- studying (or at least pretending to) on weekdays, and painting the town red on weekends, read on. I just found this article in the archives of the Michigan Daily (our university newspaper)- and it puts across, very succinctly, what life for me is all about right now.

===
Blue teaches incoming freshmen about rowing and life

By Ari Fink and Bethany Herrema, For the Daily
September 14, 2005

***
“What’s an erg? Are we going to capsize? What do you mean, ‘set’ the boat?”

These are all questions novice rowing coach Vita Scaglione fields annually in her second year coaching at Michigan. In just seven months, she molds a group of athletes — most of whom have never touched an oar — into a Division I crew.

In the summer months, each Michigan female freshman and sophomore receives a letter in the mail from the crew team stating that, if she is 5-foot-7 or taller, she should try out. (Note from Yours Truly-who-is-all-of-5-foot-2-inches-tall-on-a-good-day: Even if she isn't, she is still most welcome to try out. Hahaha.) Coming in, many potential rowers aren’t aware of the commitment, athleticism, strength and mental fortitude that are required of a rower.

While most Michigan students are sleeping, the rowers are sweating. As if living in the dorm isn’t hard enough, the rowers must find a way to go to sleep while the halls are still bustling and drag themselves out of their cozy beds before the sun even rises. The young rowers arrive at the Intramural Sports Building at 5:45 a.m. and train on the Ergometers (indoor rowing machine or the aforementioned erg) or head to to the water at Belleville Lake, which is a 15-minute drive from campus. After a grueling day of classes, the rowers practice again in the afternoon. Even on Saturday, the varsity rowers come into the erg room at 7 a.m. to complete a 6k fitness test (A "Fitness Test" sounds far too mild and nondescript to adequately describe the physical and mental duress each and every one of us undergoes during the length of the 6k. Try rowing till you turn green and your eyeballs pop out of their sockets and you are incapable of behaving in a manner expected of humans for ten minutes following the row and you'll know what I mean).

In just a few short weeks, the rowers must acquire the knowledge necessary to row a boat. Some of the necessary skills include feathering the oar — twisting it after a stroke is completed on the recovery — pulling the oar into their marks, and most importantly, catching and releasing the water together. In short, a group of college freshmen and sophomores must balance taking classes, studying, making friends and exhausting their bodies on a daily basis.

Women’s rowing is one of the only sports where an incoming student can be part of a varsity team without any prior experience. It takes a special kind of athlete to learn something completely foreign to her and to put in the time and effort necessary to succeed.

“It’s not necessarily the rowing that I love, but rather the kinds of people the sport attracts,” Scaglione said.

In addition to dealing with a heavier workload in class, the rowers are also getting a crash course on the water. It won’t take long for the athletes to figure out and learn to hate the erg, or to realize that they won’t in fact capsize — unless they hit a log, which happened last year. But, rowing is a sport of constantly perfecting and re-perfecting the body and mind. In school, in life and in rowing the questions never cease.

***

Call me insane, tell me I'll never match up against the Americans, say I'm just killing myself, stare me in the eye and try to break me down, do whatever you want. This, precisely, is why I do what I do, and I want to be able to say that I have absolutely no regrets, at the end of it all.

L-R: Bow, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, Stroke, Coxswain
In The Beginning...

And after God had created the earth and all the things that were in it, God created man and woman. They followed His command and were fruitful and multiplied.

Then God looked down upon the human race and sought out four strong humans: tall, lean, well-muscled, but not too bright. (hahaha!) These four God called "the engine room".

God looked further and found two smaller but strong humans with focus and a well-developed sense of balance. These two God called "the bow pair". (I am a permanent fixture in the bow seat- due to the fact that you can't find anyone smaller than me, and also because I apparently have a "well-developed sense of balance". Those of you who have seen me wobble in a K1 will have other thoughts, though.)

God sought a human who was steely-eyed, determined, a competitor who would never say "die". This human God called "the stroke".

One more human God found. An individual who had all the qualities of "the stroke" but one who could also follow and send a strong rhythm and will to those who in turn followed him. This individual God called simply "seven".

Now God faced the biggest challenge. God must find an individual who could control and lead these eight exemplary human beings. One who was cocky and confident with a loud voice and dominant bearing. God found no such human being, so God came to earth and took on the role of the coxswain.

And the eight human beings declared that the coxswain had a "God-complex".

HAIL TO THE VICTORS

6km ergometer timed trial on Saturday! It's a monthly affair, and not something I particularly look forward to. I've to start worrying about it now. Oh dear. In my first timed trial, my 500m split was 2:12.8 min, with a total time of 26:33.7 min. Looking to better that in any way I possibly can- rowing is just like running, it's hard to knock off even a couple of seconds. People often have this warped misconception that it shouldn't be too difficult to knock a few seconds off their split, which will result in slashing their total time considerably. BUT IT'S BLOODY HARD, take my word for it! There's one hell of a difference between rowing at 1:58min/500m and 2:06min/500m- if you don't believe it, go try it for yourself. Lol.

The following song is an awesome number by Michael Jackson- I believe it hails from his 80s collection when he was in his heyday, untainted by paedophilic allegations lol. It's from an incredible mix done by one of my teammates, Keirsten- and our coach plays it often during morning erg sessions to help us take our mind off the task at hand (not that we lose focus, mind you; it just helps to have something to listen to, and the rhythm helps a lot when it comes to erging). Go check it out (legally, of course). If not, ask me for it. Hahahaha.

***
She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
I said don’t mind, but what do you mean I am the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round
She said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round

She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts
And mother always told me be careful of who you love
And be careful of what you do ’cause the lie becomes the truth

Billie Jean is not my lover
She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

For forty days and forty nights
The law was on her side
But who can stand when she’s in demand
Her schemes and plans
’cause we danced on the floor in the round
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice
Do think twice

She told my baby,we where dancing still 3:00
Then she looked at me, she showed me a photo
My baby cried, ’cause his eyes were like mine
’cause we danced on the floor in the round

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts
She came and stood right by me
Then the smell of sweet perfume
This happened much too soon
She called me to her room

Billie Jean is not my lover
She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
Billie Jean is not my lover
She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
Billie Jean is not my lover
She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
***
Michael Jackson :: Billie Jean

***
If you gave just one reason why
My heart just might let go
Maybe one day I will fall in love again
But for now I'll just leave my heart in two

***
Jordan Knight :: Broken By You

***
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now
You're gone
My fault
I'm sorry

Feeling like a fool 'cause I let you down
Now it's
Too late
To turn it around

I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time, it really is goodbye

You made it clear when you said
"I just don't love you no more"

Craig David
I Just Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)
***

Thanks Quan for the song. It's awesome! Everyone go download this song now! Even though it is sad... But whatever.

***
I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
All our "I love yous" were just not enough to survive
Something your eyes never told me
But it's only now too plain to see
Brilliant disguise when you hold me
And I'm free
I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
But how could I have known girl
It was time and not space you would need
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
But would you believe
There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
There's a place in your heart where I used to be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
Constant reminder of all the things you get used to
Is there a chance in hell or heaven
That there's still something here to build on
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
But after all
There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
And a song in the words that you spoke to me
Was I wrong to believe in your melody
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
Fading away
It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been
Did you get my letter I wrote you, but I did not send
I tried to call your old number
But the voice that I heard on the phone
I recognized but she told me the number was wrong
There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
***
Light in Your Eyes :: Blessed Union of Souls

I spent my Saturday evening with Kelsey and we had a wonderful time. We did an insane back workout together. We are both hardcore and that's awesome. Originally we'd planned to go to The Real Seafood Co. restaurant along Main Street, a pretty high-end eating establishment, as I was in the mood for seafood. Hey, that rhymes! Haha. I've been having my eye on the swordfish all along. But when we got there we were told that we'd have to wait forty minutes for a table and you all know how much I detest waiting, so we decided to look for something else instead. So we walked to Seva, a restaurant reputed to have the best vegetarian food in Ann Arbor, only to be notified that we'd have to wait thirty-five minutes for a table this time round. Kind of miffed, we walked a little distance and came across Earthern Jar, this Indian vegetarian place that sells food by the pound, buffet-style, that I'd been meaning to try for a good while now but somehow never got around to doing so. It's a homely little outlet, which barely can fit twenty people; and every day there are an assortment of Indian-themed dishes (the owner's an Indian from Punjab) which you can mix and match- after that you weigh your food on a scale and pay accordingly to how much you've ordered. It's a pretty interesting concept and we both thought the food was exceptionally brilliant. Homely, authentic, healthy Indian fare. Curries, korma, lentils, pulses, Basmati rice, the like; both of us had a hard time choosing what we wanted and trying not to overload our dangerously sagging plates. We ended our meal with a lovely banana pudding and I must say the evening was sublime. It was good spending time with Kelsey- it amazes me just how alike we are- the interests we share, our motivations, our personalities; right down to the fact that we're both real small- and while that can be discouraging when it comes to crew, it has the opposite effect on us by instead making us push ourselves harder. I can truly say that I've found a real friend in her. Look, I first met her in the gym! Even before crew tryouts or anything. And everyone who knows me should know that people I meet in the gym definitely already share something substantial in common with me. It's awesome.

I love spending time with people and being busy because it takes my mind off the harsh possibility that maybe, just maybe

you don't love me anymore.

Cause all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

We're racing Eastern Michigan University (EMU, lol) tomorrow, and I'm glad I'm going to be able to race since I've finally been given the green light by the NCAA. Honestly, I was anticipating only being cleared a couple of weeks from now, so it is a pleasant surprise to receive news of the fact that they've finally sorted out everything. The only bad thing is that tomorrow's race is at Belleville Lake, our homeground (homewaters, whatever) so I don't get to travel to someplace exotic which is sort of sad, and I don't get twenty-five dollars in food money which is even more upsetting. But it's okay, at least we won't have to travel for a long time just to race for all of ten minutes, and we don't have to de-rig the boats and load the trailers for the journey. Anyway, since we were racing tomorrow, I expected today's practice to be something geared towards preparing us for our scrimmage tomorrow. So I think we all got an unexpected surprise when our coach, Vita, told us that we weren't going down to the boathouse since it was too blustery out. Instead, she packed us all into the vans we normally drive to practice, gave us a list of directions which we followed, and we ended up at a gravel lot 6 miles from campus, on the edge of a forested trail. And then she announced that we were going for, of all things, a hike. Well, yes, so we duly went for a hike. When I stepped onto the trail and into the cover of the trees, I was struck by how much it resembled Pasir Laba (just much prettier with the leaves turning shades of red and yellow) and the areas on which we had our compass and orienteering course in both Sierra and Air Wing. Just that this time it was so much easier to traipse over the leaves without a helmet and field pack and SBO and rifle and ET stick (how can I possibly forget my ET stick? The very bane of my existence). And it did bring back a strange yearning to be back in the woods with camouflage paint streaked across my face, in my number four, carrying my M-16, and just becoming a soldier again. When we finally emerged from the woods at the end of our hike, just before we turned around and started the trek back to our vans, we ended at a beautiful ridge overlooking a lake, flanked by trees with a kaleidoscope of colors and the occasional house on the opposite bank. It was breathtakingly beautiful, coupled with the fact that it was almost evening and the sun was fading into the backdrop as we stood and marveled at the beauty of nature. It's the little opportunities like these that reinforce how fortunate I am to be here.

the beauty of the setting sun in a parking lot.

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

Best I Ever Had :: Vertical Horizon

Here is an update as to the effectiveness of my insane leg workout yesterday. My legs have never ever ached so much in my life before today. It's particularly bad especially just when I get up after I've been sitting down for an extended period of time, and I'm reduced to an unsteady totter for a couple of meters before I can finally lapse into something that seems more like an ordinary walk. Anyway it was satisfying albeit in a masochistic way so I was pleased with that.

This week has been pretty good because I received my political science midterm results which I was exceedingly pleased with, achieved new gains in my workouts (okay I sound like a bodybuilder wannabe here, mind you I am NOT), managed to pick myself up from the slump I was in last week with regards to ergometer practice results, and a couple of other little instances that contributed to my overall cheeriness. One thing I'm really touched by is how so many of my crew teammates have offered to have me over to their homes to spend Thanksgiving with them. Thanksgiving is celebrated with much enthusiasm and meaning over here in the States- it's a typical family affair with good food and fellowship, and I'm looking forward to experiencing a traditional American Thanksgiving celebration. Just that now I've to decide whose offer to accept, and everyone's so nice that it's hard for me to do that. The hospitality of the girls on my team are amazing. Actually it's so much more than that- they're incredible people with a whole spectrum of personalities, ranging from the quirky to the ditzy to the too-nice-until-I-can't-take-it-any-more to the aggressive chiongsters to the motherly to the plain-gone-in-the-head kind. It's a motley crew of 20-odd rowers and 6 coxies, and these people are probably the main reason behind why I'm enjoying myself so much in Michigan. Training is tough but rewarding, and to know that you aren't alone in pushing yourself to all these insane extremes helps a lot. Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to accomplish half as much if I were to do all this by myself. That's the great thing about having a team to rely on.

EARWORM OF THE DAY:
***
don't look no farther
baby im back yeah
i'm here to cater to you
anything that you want me to do, i'll do it
cause i'll be your lover
i'll be your best friend
tell me what i gotta do
tell me what i gotta do and i'll do it
***
baby i'm back :: Akon

I'm not particularly in the habit of talking about my workouts in my blog, but I think I just did an insane leg workout today. You see, I've recently decided to revamp my lifting workouts since I thought I was stagnating after sticking to my tried-and-tested regimen of 4 sets of 15 reps each since goodness-knows-when. So anyway I found a delightful (and respectably acclaimed) magazine with the heading "Our Best Workout Guide Ever- 57 All-New Routines for Fast Results" (I know you must be thinking it's Men's Health, but No, it is NOT Men's Health, neither is it the Bodybuilding Journal, nor Muscle Mania, nor Arnold's Fitness Guide, or anything vaguely reminiscent of large scowling men with biceps the size of grapefruits). Oh, speaking about grapefruits- I am eating a grapefruit now, by the way- and- oh dear, I've just managed to catapult a large spoonful of pink flesh onto my table after overenthusiastically trying to pry the stubborn peel apart. Crap. Anyway, as I was saying, the name of the publication is of no consequence. The workout started off great. After the first exercise, hack squat, was completed, I still felt mighty energetic and I began to debate the effectiveness of the workout. But not for long, because my doubts vanished as fast as they had come- midway through the third exercise of squat jumps. I almost perished during the walking lunges following those, and I vividly remember thinking to myself in the midst of that exercise that I was newly convinced that leg workouts required the most pain tolerance out of all. I never really did leg workouts in the past, because we never seemed to place much emphasis on them back in the RJ canoeing days; running was about all we did. Okay, leg workouts are crazy. There is a certain logic behind this. You see- for example, if you do a really challenging arm workout, the most that'll happen after you've completed it will be that your arms now dangle lifelessly from your shoulders and just about the only bad thing resulting from that is that you'll have to ask other people to open doors for you and do other things requiring hand motion. But if you do an insane leg workout, you won't be able to get to the door, much less ask someone to open it for you. Crumpling into a limp heap is very much of a possibility in this case. Okay, but pain is pleasure so I think that's awesome. Hahaha.

19th WSO (ADA) emblem
This is a special post for all the 19th WSO (ADA) boys from 59/05 AFST- hang in there, dudes! It's so good that I've managed to resume contact with some of you, after quite a while! It's been slightly more than two months since course started- whatever weapons systems you've been posted to, just give it your all, and chiong like crazy. I miss how we used to lobo in AFS, our afternoon basketball games, gym and pool sessions, loading up on protein powder after weights, doing office duty in ADA HQ, Loke and Ashwin running 30 rounds around the basketball court clad in PT attire and SBO (okay the very sight of that was unforgettably funny), scheming ways of getting out of AFS before 1730hrs, and getting tekan-ed for sleeping in our lobo room. We definitely must get together when I next return- it'll be great to catch up again, especially since I presume you all probably don't really see each other much anymore since you're all scattered among different camps. Unfortunately, I don't think infantryman BL Chia will be returning for X'mas, but it's okay, it'd be good enough to see you all. Heads up- it'll seem like no time at all till when you finally get commissioned! Take care, guys.

Just a few pictures from the farewell dinner we had at Cafe Cartel:

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Speaking about American inefficiency, the NCAA Clearinghouse (a body of the NCAA that clears prospective college athletes before they're allowed to participate in collegiate athletics) seem to have misplaced the copies of my O and A level transcripts that I got RJC to courier over to Iowa, so I can't race in this weekend's regatta against Notre Dame and Michigan State at South Bend, Indiana. Disappointing, for sure, seeing that it's our team's first competition of any sort and I can't even travel with the team (as long as you're not cleared, you can't really do anything). Well, at least Fall races aren't important at all besides the fact that they're for gaining experience- it's the Spring ones that really count; the NCAA and Big Ten championships in April and May. But perhaps it's good in the sense that I'll finally have the weekend to catch up on my German homework and Anthropology readings- I've been focusing, a little too much, perhaps, on Comparative Politics and Great Books, somehow I figure those latter two are harder to catch up on once you fall behind so I'm pretty scared of that happening.

It's my roommate's birthday tomorrow and I've absolutely no idea what to get her. Oh dear. I have a blank greeting card on my table, though. How fortuituous! She's an incredibly nice person, I'll go get something for her tomorrow. Okay I think I've got to get some work done now- will blog sometime soon, perhaps tomorrow.

Okay, here are some photos to whet your appetite before I get round to transferring the rest of the hundred-odd pictures onto my Flickr account. In case you're wondering why I took pictures of American girls flailing their arms about in ecstasy, I'll have you know that those are my teammates in Michigan Crew and they're having a parking lot Dance Party before afternoon practice! Man they totally crack me up, they're awesome. That's the reason you should come to the USA, in particular the U of M. You see things you never thought you'd ever see. Hahaha. The other three photos are from the snapshots I took while in Chicago- I'll load the rest when I've time, I promise. Right now I'm studying for my German test and Great Books midterm, (both, most fortuitously, are on Tuesday. That wouldn't be too bad, initially, just that they happen to be consecutive and are held at spectacularly different locations on campus). So I'll get back sometime after that. Till then, enjoy the eye candy! Lol.

Michela the Diva. God I've NEVER seen anyone dance the way she does. OMG she's fantastic I love her to bits. Lol! 

Michela in intense focus as she negotiates a difficult dance move. "Hmmm... How do I get my fingers out from under my armpits?" -Hannah 

Wilson and Alvin, with Six Flags in the background. 

Hobos in the Chicago Subway, at Grand Ave Station. And in case you were wondering, no, Wilson isn't the reason I look so pissed. Haha! For once! 

Me and my best buddy, an enormous Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Taken outside the Hershey's outlet in Chicago, along the Magnificent Mile. 

I added some pictures below for the fun of it, since I've got over a hundred Chicago photos to add to Flickr, and I still haven't gotten round to doing that! It's pretty tedious, and I'm lazy, so there. Ha. Anyway, the top two photos are that of some of my teammates from Michigan Crew doing their thing in the Intramural parking lot just before we leave for practice- okay they are the most hilarious bunch of people I've ever known, and it's absolutely fantastic. You could just die laughing watching them in action in the parking lot dance parties- we blast music from the vans' stereo systems and watch them go entirely out of control. It's too funny to describe, I prefer to document it by taking photos instead of participating. Haha! And I added two Chicago photos for the heck of it too, will update my Flickr when I've time. Pretty busy over the weekend doing my readings. Tuesday's a crazy day for me- practice on the ergometers at 6.15am to 7.35am, after that I've to rush to North Campus for my German test which begins at 8am, and thereafter to the Modern Languages Building for my Great Books midterm which starts at 9.10am. Am I busy or what? Oh well. Guess I'll blog more after I finish negotiating those tricky tests!

The Officer's Creed

***
I am an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.

My duty is to lead,
to excel,
and to overcome.

I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training,
morale,
and discipline.

I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with pride,
honour,
and integrity.

I will overcome adversity with
courage,
fortitude,
and determination.

I dedicate my life to Singapore.


***

The Officer's Creed is breathtakingly simple but fully laden with meaning and expectation. In OCS it was most commonly associated with the mandatory water parades, which somewhat dulled our sensitivity to the true implications of the creed, seeing that we were too engorged with water to think about anything profound. But right now when I'm so far removed from the familiarity of home and everything it represents, this has somehow gained an entirely new dimension in my point of view. The words possess a motivational value that extend far beyond the military realm into other aspects of my life; whether it be training, classes or just about anything else. Just think about this example- "I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude, and determination". It helps to reconcile me with my meaning and purpose whenever despair or disillusionment starts to creep in, and helps to assuage the doubt that may have accummulated due to this. I guess I subscribe to the belief that you are only as strong as you think you are. Recently I've been guilty of letting my guard down at times, not pushing myself as hard as I could have, tapering off when no one's around to keep me going. Sometimes it's so difficult to keep yourself motivated, especially when the odds are all stacked against you and you figure that you scarcely have a fighting chance in any situation, so there really doesn't seem to be any good you could possibly gain from imposing such unwonted stress upon yourself. But there always is something to live for, something to prove, and nothing you can't tackle once your mind is dead set on achieving it. It's all in the mind. I can't emphasize that enough, especially since I've started rowing in Michigan and discovered the mental aspect of training at an entirely new level. It's only when you're on the ergometer and midway through a workout piece that you start to play mind games, asking yourself why you're subjecting yourself to all this hard work and why you fought so hard to make it onto the team in the first place when all you've succeeded in doing is to set up more challenges for yourself. And it's at that precise moment where either one of two things happen- your resolve weakens, you figure that no one but yourself knows how hard you're pulling on the ergometer anyway since it's not visibly apparent, and you slack off. Or you grit your teeth, try to sustain your split timing one stroke at a time, get it down below a target rate, and push through the pain. I must admit I've been more inclined towards the former, but honestly what is the point of short-term gratification at the expense of prolonged gains and ultimate satisfaction? It's a tough choice to make, one that's even harder to stick to when you're blinded by the present and barely aware of the future.

"I will excel in everything I do."

Simply put, this is a stark ultimatum- it doesn't leave room for regret, for other alternatives, or for the easy way out. And I don't think I'd want anything less than that for myself.

Talking about photographs, I took a whole lot in Chicago, will upload them onto my Flickr account soon, after I get the polsci midterm out of the way tomorrow. There're cool shots of the Navy Pier, Sears Tower, the Cheesecake Factory (perhaps the best dessert place ever, Cafe Greco of Melbourne has been relegated to second place right now), and of Six Flags Great America Theme Park which we visited on Sunday. Oh and we were also so trigger-happy that we took a couple of pictures of the menu from Penang (this restaurant in Chicago Chinatown that sold, much to our delight, pretty authentic Malaysian-Singaporean fare like Hainanese chicken rice, roti prata, bubur hitam, oyster omelette (!)). We were all delirious with happiness over having local food after eons that we promptly made reservations for the next night immediately after finishing dinner on the first. And there were egg tarts in the bakeries in Chinatown, which we bought on the first night, intending to have them for breakfast the next day. But instead we went to the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) and neglected the egg tarts in the car, and one of the tarts displaced its custard filling onto another tart, which was quite strange really. But I don't think anyone cared, since egg tarts in themselves were treat enough.

We spent a pretty good time in Chicago, I must say it was definitely a most enjoyable experience with the boys, stuffing ourselves silly with gargantuan portions of cake at the Cheesecake Factory, waiting in line at Six Flags for an entire hour for a silly middling rollercoaster called the Ragin' Cajun which actually resembled more of a dodgy ride in an enormous teacup, travelling along the I-94 highway and running over a dead deer on our way back to Ann Arbor, which left a smattering of fur and blood on the tires. Which left Alvin pretty flustered especially after we mentioned that it was a distinct possibility that he could have run over a woman in a fur coat and have mistaken it for a large furry mammal, in the darkness.

Life is good. It's fabulous on the surface. New friends, time well spent, loads of things to do, road trips, experiences of a lifetime that come with having the opportunity to study overseas. But in the back of my mind there are always some things that gnaw away at my insides, things that I try to refrain from blogging about, issues that I find hard to discuss because of the simple fact that no one can give me an answer so it doesn't make a difference anyway. I can't even find a solution to my own problem. It's an awful feeling when you're so desperately hopeless and you wonder what you've done wrong and you would give just about anything in the world for things to be okay again.

i just pray that someday, somehow, you'll find the drive to love again.


***
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much
I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before and it seems to have a vague
haunting mass appeal

But lately I'm beginning to find that I
should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that when
I drive myself my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there

Would you choose water over wine
and hold the wheel and drive

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings

I'll be there.
***
incubus :: drive

I'm pretty glad (no, wait, actually I'm overjoyed) that my first 6km timed trial on the ergometer is finally over! The whole team couldn't stop thinking about it over the last few days- now that we've got it over and done with (at least for this month), we can breathe easy and enjoy Fall Break till, well, next month. Haha. What blessed relief! I did pull better than I expected- managed a pretty decent average split time, finished the entire distance in 26:33 minutes. Well, there's always going to be plenty of room for improvement- I'm going to aim for a sub-26min timing, which means I'll have to knock off about 4 seconds from my 500m split timing- not easy, definitely, but I'm going to try my darndest if it kills me just to get there.
Michela explained the concept behind the reason why rowers should be tall and big pretty clearly yesterday- you have to pull your own weight, so if you're heavier you're naturally expected to have a faster erg timing since you should be exerting more force to transport yourself over a similar distance compared to a lighter person. So it's essentially a power-to-weight ratio thing. Kind of fascinating, don't you think? And

But I'm so hungry! Even though we had breakfast at West Quad after the trial- it was awesome. For me, Oatmeal = Awesome. Breakfast at West Quad's always pretty good, because there's great food like lemon poppyseed muffins, breakfast burritos with sausage (neither of which I indulge in, but just so you get an idea of the spread), and there's even an omelette station where you can ask for cooked-to-order omelettes. I should try that sometime, but usually I'm kind of full after 2 bowls of oatmeal, and I wouldn't pass on oatmeal, not for the world. Anyway, yeah. I am ridiculously hungry now, but I'll just hold out for a bit longer before I succumb to the South Quad dining hall in a couple of minutes.

I'll be going to Chicago for Fall Break! A couple of us are leaving tonight in a rented Ford Dodge, staying in a hostel in downtown Chicago for a night, exploring the city (Ooh! Urbanization! I haven't seen a building that goes beyond 20 storeys in an eternity!), and going on to the Six Flags Great America Theme Park on Sunday. I think that'll be pretty cool, all the rides seem rather exciting. Finally I've the chance to relax and unwind, after 2 months of adapting to the intensity of college life PLUS rowing. But I've still got to get my workouts in during the weekend- which probably means that I'll be lugging a pair of running shoes and gear to Chicago. Ah well. I'll never escape all this (not that I mind, anyway). Just had lunch, it was awesome. Mashed sweet potatoes are fantastic, the closest alternative I can get to yam paste here. So I had two bowlfuls. Haha I have this tendency to overload on things I really like (as you can probably tell from the oatmeal encounter). But I like it, and it's good for me, so whatever.

Political Science midterms are on Wednesday- I'll be holed up in my room mugging my ass off all of Monday and Tuesday, I bet. Luckily we've got a review sheet which helps to ease the pressure somewhat, because at least then we'll know what we have to focus on and what isn't so important. And my first German essay is due on Wednesday too. I think I should really start working on all this sometime soon. My back aches. I'm sort of tired. During lunch I was eating real slowly, which was pretty unusual. I think I'll take a nap sometime, maybe soon.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who's helped me out in one way or another- you guys back in Singapore, it means a lot for me just to be able to talk to you and hear how life's going for you guys, and for me to tell you how things have been on my side, both the good and the bad. Thanks for the prayers and the support and encouragement. Being so far away from home, it's really heartening knowing that you guys are still around, and concerned about how I am, and take the trouble to find out how I'm doing, and stuff like that. And the SMSes (despite the fact that they cost 50cents to send from Singapore... USA-Singapore SMSes under the T-mobile network cost 15 US cents, so perhaps I'm getting a better deal than you, but don't let that discourage you from sending me messages, now)- it's always a pleasant surprise to get text messages from Singapore.

Okay, I'm off to pack my bag for Chicago, perhaps get some studying done, and go lift at the CCRB at around 3. I'm so hardcore, I can't even begin to comprehend myself. Oh well! A certain level of insanity makes life worthwhile. I suppose.

Curiously enough, weekends seem to go by really quickly here. Although, I do have to say that time does fly here in Ann Arbor. Perhaps it's because my days are jam-packed with so many things to do, crew practices, reading discussion material in preparation for class, writing papers, working out, trying to find enough time in between to sleep. But the weekends seem to fly by really fast! I know I shouldn't complain, because effectively I do have a 4-day school week since my Fridays are free of classes. But it's Sunday night already and I'm staring yet another school week in the face. Good thing that this approaching weekend is Fall Break weekend- and some of my friends and I are planning to drive to Chicago to spend Friday till Sunday. I'm pretty excited to return to urbanization after a prolonged period of time in a semi-rural environment. Bright lights! And Chinatown! We've been deprived for far too long. Okay, don't get me wrong, Ann Arbor isn't that bad! I do enjoy the college town experience. Just that we've just about exhausted every possible entertainment (not that there were very many to begin with, in the first place).

Went for my very first spinning (high-intensity stationary bike) session yesterday at One-on-One Athletic Club (I know, what sort of weird name is that) with my rowing coach, Vita, as well as two of my crew teammates, Michela and Hannah. Originally planned to stay for the first 75-min session only, but somehow Michela and I found ourselves staying for the subsequent 45-min session. It was fantastic. I must say it's definitely worth a shot, the music helps to distract you from the fact that you're doing cardio for 75 bloody minutes, and it is pretty intense. Nailed my cardio for the day by doing that. Hopefully we'll get to go back sometime (and get in free without paying again, heh heh).

Went for an hour-long run this morning, it was pretty cold out. I need more running gear! Stuff from underarmor.com would be perfect but unfortunately the prices are a bit steep, especially for the average poor college student. But the adidas and nike running gear from birch run was money pretty well spent, I felt, as it did keep me nice and toasty despite the 3deg Celsius weather outside.

Spent the bulk of my Sunday cooped up in my room working on my Odyssey paper (which I've finally finished!), as well as reading Agamemnon by Aeschylus (I'm striving towards becoming an authority on all things Ancient Greek), only breaking for lunch and dinner. Mealtimes are so good. But the food's getting quite unacceptable. Well, actually it's pretty subjective. If I were a fries and burger person I'd be quite happy, but since I'm not, I'm resigned to consuming tofu that seems like it's spent an eternity immersed in soy sauce, and various other similarly unappetising selections. Michela says that the food gets really bad towards the end of the semester, because the dorm kitchens have to clear out the food they have before the holidays- and so the menu everyday reads "Chef's Special". Which kind of leaves just about everything to your imagination.

Oh dear I've still got my German Language Learning Journal to complete, which requires me to write a paragraph about anything under the sun in halting German. And I'm far too tired to do that now. Shall painstakingly work it out tomorrow morning after my run, over a steaming bowlful of Irish steel-cut oats. Aaahhh oatmeal rocks. It's total comfort food, and oh-so-good for you. Good night!

I'm waiting for my laundry to finish drying before I go to bed, so I'll make the most of the spare time by posting a new entry, which I haven't done in quite a while. The power went out in the boathouse today and apparently it'd only be restored by nightfall, so we didn't go down for practice at the lake. Instead, we played Ultimate Soccer (exactly like Ultimate Frisbee, just that you use a soccer ball, which you don't kick, but throw) at Burns Park, which doesn't sound like much of a training session, but it was a tremendous cardio workout (just think of it as really fun but intense intervals). It was a blast and something I appreciated quite a bit! I haven't had the chance to play any ball games since coming to UMich, there simply hasn't been enough time. How I miss the basketball games! Especially those back in NYGH.

Rowing practice has been improving- we're finally getting the hang of the motion which started off as being rather alien, but there're so many things to think about all at once, like blade depth, hand spacing, getting into the catch position, the drive and sweep of the blade... but perhaps what's the most important and also the hardest to get is the coordination between all 8 of the rowers. So far we haven't rowed all 8 yet, we typically rotate through pairs, fours, or sixes. When you watch people row it always looks like it's a breeze matching the other 7 rowers stroke-for-stroke, but in reality it's no easy task. Especially when the boat isn't set (balanced) and it's tilting down to the side your oar is extended towards, you tend to get your blade stuck in the water when you don't drive through with enough force or speed. And it's really quite funny when it happens because your oar will be stuck fast in the water, in front of you, and so you will open your mouth to unleash a string of profanities, and thereafter promptly be rendered speechless by the oar handle thwacking you in the stomach with a dull thud followed by an induced expelling of the air in your belly. We rowed with only 7 rowers once, and so the boat was perpetually displaced towards starboard (the side with more rowers) and I kept getting stuck which was entirely awful. It caused me to swear unceasingly (some people can testify to my colorful vocabulary when faced with situations of extreme peevishness, right, Lihui? Haha!).

We've got our first 6km trial on the ergometer next Friday morning, just before the start of Fall Study Break (which lasts till Tuesday). I quake in fear just thinking about the prospect of a 6km trial. It's kind of daunting- the idea of rowing my heart and lungs out at max speed for about 25-30 minutes on the erg doesn't sound like a way that I'd want to spend my Friday morning (especially since I get to sleep a little longer on Friday mornings, since I don't have classes on Fridays). Crap. We did a 3km followed by a short rest and a 2km at Tues morning practice a few days back- and it wasn't all that nice. Argh. Argh. Okay I'll just take everything one step at a time! Or, more literally, one pull at a time.

This previous week has really been a busy one for me- I had my 2nd German test on Wed, followed by our first Cultural Anthropology exam on Thurs. Thankfully, everything went smoothly- I must say I was pretty encouraged by my German test results. Phew. Two papers due next week, one Political Science paper on democracy and a Great Books essay on the Odyssey. And of course, invariably, practice everyday. It's a busy life but I enjoy it tons. I guess I'm getting the opportunity to really experience college life in an overseas environment to its fullest. Before I reached Ann Arbor, I told myself that I'd never want to miss out on getting to know people from all sorts of backgrounds and places, because people had warned me that Singaporeans tend to form cliques (especially in schools like UMich where there's a sizable Singaporean population) and hardly get to know anyone else really well. But the girls on the Michigan Crew team have been fantastic- they're people I can get along so well with, and the fact that we're on a team together helps to reinforce and strengthen the friendships. They're great people. Sehr fantastisch (to put ein bisschen (a little) Deutsch into practice). Haha! Das ist gut.

Okay I think my laundry should be done by now. Will blog sometime soon (maybe the next time I wash my clothes! Lol.)

I've just finished my first anthropology honors assignment, so as you should guess, I'm feeling pretty accomplished now. But probably not for long, because I've got the Odyssey by Homer sitting on my shelf (I refuse to look at it), and I haven't even completed the Iliad yet! Okay I need some serious help here. All this Greek Great Books stuff honestly doesn't appeal to me- hopefully i can get through this term without too much mishap. Also finished my German Language Learning Journal, in which I clumsily scrawled a paragraph in halting, ungrammatical German about my life in UM so far and the challenges of rowing, and hopefully my recitation tutor gives me a check plus for that. I wonder why they call the foreign language lessons "recitations" instead of "discussions"? The word "recitations" never fails to evoke mental images of little European children sitting at wooden desks in a small classroom and obediently chanting phrases from a large reader aloud.

Taking a well-deserved break from gym today- actually I wanted to go down to the intramural sports building to erg (use the rowing machine/ ergometer) before dinner, but it's raining heavily out and I can just feel the burning glare of the Odyssey boring holes into my head so I decided to give erging a miss, just for today. Today's morning run was kind of odd, because it was really misty outside and visibility was rather bad. I could hardly see anything a hundred yards down the street, especially when I was running down South State bypassing the Athletic Campus and wanted to cross the road to East Stadium Boulevard, and it was rather hard to cross because cars would suddenly appear from nowhere, making it rather tough for me to get over to the other side.

Ted and I went to check out Harvest Mission Community Church (HMCC) today, which had its Sunday celebrations at the very accessible Angell Hall Auditorium A, which is just 5 minutes from South Quad if I walk, or barely a minute if I run. It's the place where I have my Political Science 140 lectures, so instead of seeing Prof. Inglehart and his powerpoint slides, it was a welcome change to see the church band and Hillsong praise songs on the overhead screen. I must say I'm definitely more accustomed to the style of the worship, much more charismatic in form as compared to at First Presbyterian off Washtenaw, which I visited 2 weeks ago. That was somewhat more traditional and homely, but edifying nonetheless (they had a terrific old grandma with a voice worthy of the opera stage to lead the hymns). HMCC was not bad, I daresay I would feel pretty comfortable there. For some reason it's primarily Asians, perhaps because the pastoral staff are all Koreans or something to that effect. Next week I think I'll be checking out New Life with Ted and Hannah (one of my crew buddies), which has its celebrations at 10.01am (hmmm!) at the Modern Languages Building auditorium 3. And that's where I have my Great Books 191(zzzZZ) lecture and Cultural Anthropology 101 lecture. But I'm glad I went to church.

***
Proclaim Your awesome power
Tell of mighty deeds
Declare Your future kingdom
Of everlasting peace

And my eyes they look
Unto You always
And I am captured
By your majesty

All of my days
I will sing of Your greatness
All of my days
I will speak of Your grace
All of my days
I will tell of Your wondrous love
Your love in my life
Your love

All Your works will praise You
Your children bless Your name
We speak of all Your goodness
We walk in fields of grace

And my eyes they look
Unto You always
And I am captured
By your majesty
***

Hillsong: All of My Days

So. The 2006 Michigan Novice Rowing Roster's finally out- 32 rowers and 10 coxswains. 8 rowers and a coxswain per boat, and our first race's on 30th October. It's called "Head of the Elk" which sounds oddly Native American. Ooh. Wow I'm already looking forward to racing even though we've hardly moved an inch from the launching dock. But between now and then... I anticipate a great deal of hard work, much much more to come. Ironically, that's what I love the most about the idea of being in a varsity sport like this. Okay, everyone who knows me well can testify to the fact that i relish tough training. Even though I may cuss like nobody's business during the process, loudly make known my burgeoning violent tendencies to everyone in the vicinity, and wonder what's wrong with myself for always getting into such situations out of my own free will (like during change parade in army BMT, or casevac, or route marches, or getting stuck in a thunderstorm in the middle of mandai wilderness during navigation exercise, or cleaning my M16 after live range, or turnouts in full battle order, or field pack and bunk inspections, or a gazillion other things that perfectly sane people wouldn't even begin to consider, much less even do), I guess it's the satisfaction you get upon looking back and thinking about the fact that "wow! I actually made it through all this shit!" that is pretty much irreplaceable. And I love it.

It's going to be one tough year ahead, races along the way, different training programs depending on the season (you don't expect us to train on the lake when it's winter and all hell freezes over, do you now), varying lineups, erg time trials, weight training, loads of cardio... and it's all going to culminate in the NCAA Big Ten Championship Regatta at the end of April, followed by the Central Regional Championship Regatta on the 2nd weekend of May '06. There'll be selections for first varsity eight (top 8 rowers in the team), then second eight, and finally the varsity four. I don't plan to think too far ahead just right now- as my coach (she's incredible) says- just take everything one stroke at a time (like in rowing). Just get through the stuff you're doing first by fully applying yourself to it, and then you can figure out the rest as it comes. I saw this quote on the back of someone's high school running team shirt just the other day, and I thought it made a lot of sense. "Just think about how far you could go if you took another step for every time you thought you couldn't."

I guess it's just human nature- at times we think we've maxed out, we've reached the farthest we could possibly go, but in actual fact we're still yards away from the ceiling. Sometimes you need to distract yourself from the pain, the challenge, just grit your teeth and keep pushing. Another saying I've gotten from yet another person's high school running shirt (I don't know why I have such an affinity for reading the back of people's shirts, but you really learn a lot about life from them, especially here in the USA where you see perhaps just about everything you could imagine would take pride of place on a shirt): "Pain is the weakness leaving your body." It's all in the mind- it's the brain, rather than the body, that determines how far you go in the end.

Okay that's enough profundity to last me for quite a while. Anyway, I think I possess the dubious honor of being the shortest rower in all of Michigan Crew history. Simply put, I am a midget, especially when it comes to comparisons with the rest of the crew team. Everyone is at least 5'5" (about 1.65m) tall, substantially heavier because they're taller, which is of great use when it comes to carrying the boat down to the launching point. I've got some pictures of the launching docks in my Flickr album- it kind of resembles the floating pontoon at Kallang SDBA, except that it's bigger and definitely not as rickety. There's this very noticeable downward slant at my end when we're carrying the boat down to be launched, because I'm at the bow seat (the end which crosses the finish line first in a race, since rowing is done backwards) so I carry the bow end. And it is so bloody heavy when we're walking down the sloped boards to the pontoon, because all the weight is on my end since I move down first, and somehow I get kind of squeamish with US$26,000 weighing down on my shoulders at any one point in time. And our coach said something which I found quite amusing, especially the way in which she said it. "I know all of you are strong- whether you're a midget (raises eyebrows in yours truly's direction), or if you're a giant (points at this girl called Liz who's easily 2 heads taller than me and a lovely person at that), so I want to see all of you doing everything together. Teamwork!" Anyway she's an incredible coach- extremely motivational. I was really impressed by the way she took the effort to get to know every single one of the girls who tried out for the crew team, and remembered all seventy-five of our names (and last names). Even if she calls me Fang, like teeth, you know, Faaaaaang? Grrr. But it's cool. Haha! It's that sort of dedication and passion which emanates from her that really spurs me on even more to put in all that I've got, because it really helps to know that someone has faith in you (even if you ARE awfully small in relation to everyone else).

Practice times are a throwback to days in Raffles Canoeing- well, actually they're even heavier now. I've got practice every weekday from 3.20pm to 6.20pm, fortunately none of my classes make it such that I'm unable to go down during that time, because that's when we go down to Belleville Lake, 12 miles from here, for practice. U of M's boathouse is there- it's incredible, nothing like the minute rectangular-shaped patch that RJ proudly owned in SDBA, which housed our kayaks and paddles and smelly life jackets. This really is a Boathouse of standard. There's a locker room, a meeting room, ergometers, and the racing eights and fours are kept downstairs. And the whole team can't wait to get all the crew gear- the Michigan Crew nike shirts, jackets, the complete works. It's got to be earned through nothing less than hard work, which is definitely what I'll be putting in.

Go Blue!

Finally! The last day of rowing tryouts, which lasted for a week. Six days of going down to the rowing machine (ergometer) room where the varsity crew team has its practice, at the intramural sports building. I have a hunch that the tryout schedule was designed in such a way that the coach could then weed out the people who weren't actually serious about training, by scheduling several of the training sessions pretty early in the morning, at about 6.15am. Anyway I must say that I'm amazed at how just about everyone displayed such great commitment by turning up for every tryout session- I fell to talking to some of them and it's easy to see just how much they want to make the team. I miss that kind of dedication and passion and the entire idea of team spirit and camaraderie, and perhaps that's one of the primary reasons I want to be able to join UM crew- to have something to train for, to get the chance to compete, and getting to know a whole lot of like-minded individuals whom I can possibly foster deep friendships with. Anyway, the roster for the 2005-6 novice team will be announced on Sunday- whether it be rower or coxswain or sorry-you-didn't-make-the-cut, I'm glad to say that it has been a fulfilling week, not only because I finally learnt the art of proper technique on an ergometer, but because I've also had the opportunity to get to know some strong-minded individuals, people I can identify with, who have that sort of passion for whatever they set their mind to. I guess it's been a great experience. And it's definitely helped me in taking a break from all the work and assignments that've been relentlessly pouring in, as well as clear my head and keep me from thinking about other parts of my life that haven't been going as smoothly as I'd like.

i was just thinking about how ironic some things are... After JC i thought i'd never have to do any more timed 2.4km runs. Then it turned out that we did timed 2.4s about a total of 5 times during BMT. After BMT it seemed to me that i'd cleared IPPT for the year, so I wouldn't have to run 2.4 again that year. But I did, twice more in Sierra during combined leadership phase/ service term, and twice after in Air Force Service Term. And I really thought that was it! I'd done about 10 timed 2.4s, so it ought to be enough, right? But No! while loboing in AFS, I did 3 more 2.4s, and took my IPPT for that workyear ( still dunno if they've credited my $200 into the bank account yet, hmmm), which makes it 4 2.4s in AFS.

So after about 13 2.4s, I finally flew off to Michigan and was extremely glad that I wouldn't have to worry about any more 2.4s till next year's IPPT during the summer vacation. Well, guess what, I just did a 1.5mile time trial this morning for day 4 of novice rowing tryouts. Do you know how long 1.5miles is? Surprise! It's a bloody 2.4! Pfffffft. But it was fantastic. Really.

Oh and one more thing I'm delighted to note is that I haven't put on any weight yet! In fact, I think I might've lost some! This is awesome, man. And the thing is, I think I'm eating more here compared to back in Singapore. Today there was an incredible dinner... it was a special dinner, called the "Welcome to Michigan" dinner. The menu was superb- there was baked whitefish, Frankenmuth fried chicken (which is supposed to be way outta this world), smashed Michigan red potatoes (these were awesome), beef and vegetable pasties, Michigan vegetable mix... and those were just the entrees. And there were cream puffs with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce, as well as Michigan fruit crisp (this is really good stuff, guys) for dessert. Arghh I love this place. Well anyway, as I was saying, even though I eat considerably more here I haven't put on weight (HAHAHAHA ALL YOU CYNICS HAHAHAHA I'M GONNA PROVE ALL YOU GUYS WRONG MAN JUST WAIT AND SEE)... I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I walk when I wanna get anywhere in this sprawling campus, I never take the campus buses (unless it's from central to north campus in the mornings when I've to rush for german classes at 8), and perhaps due to the daily morning runs and pre-lunch gym workouts. Okay man i'm gonna keep this up so I can enjoy food yet maintain my fitness lol.

I've a 1000m timed trial on the ergometer (rowing machine) this coming Friday afternoon... Arghh I remember how we used to train on the lone erg in the RJ fitness room just before the machine rowing championships in Feb 2004, and how we used to tumble out of the seat in a flurry when we practiced the mixed 4 x 500m relay. Once I left my shoe in the foot port when I over-enthusiastically tumbled off to make way for philip, which was quite exasperating then but funny now when I think of it. Anyway just thinking of a 1000m timed trial makes me want to cry... I remember all too well the feeling of racing on the rowing machine... my legs were totally Gone after the race. They just subsided into a gelatinous mass. Crap man, can't believe I'm subjecting myself to this again. I wish they had lightweight crew in UM... I know I'm terribly disadvantaged by virtue of my size, especially when one of the criteria to succeed in rowing is that of height. And by height, i mean HEIGHT. like 5'8", at least? And you need mass as well- say about 170 pounds? Okay so I'm nowhere near such gargantuan proportions, neither do I particularly want to be, so I will just have to see where drive and hard work take me.

Either that or I can be coxswain (the so-called commander of the boat, who does coxing and steering, as well as motivator of the crew, and gives the starting commands and plots the race strategies, but who essentially doesn't row in the competition). The coxswain has to be between 110-120 pounds in weight (oh and I found out something interesting too, if she doesn't meet the minimum weight requirement she'll have to carry a weight to compensate, lol) But I'd much rather row... Oh well guess I'll just have to wait and see how it goes. And as I've discerned from 2 years of canoeing, I have a terrible relationship with rudders, and direction in general.

How awfully disadvantaged small people are! I got to know another girl trying out for rowing- she's about my height and she looks real lean and strong- I'm always seeing her in the gym (ah, precisely my sort of person!). She's called Kelsey, from Colorado- and the really cool thing about her is that she used to be a wrestler back in high school. And there wasn't a girls' team, so she took part in the guys' championships, and kicked some serious ass there. Apparently some guys from college wrestling in her weight category quit after losing a bout to her. Man I think that's someone I can definitely be good friends with. Lol.

How quickly time has passed- it's already been three weeks since I reached Ann Arbor, and I must say I'm settling in pretty nicely. These three weeks have been rather jam-packed with activities... all the Destination Michigan orientation events, like Festifall, Maize Craze, Escapade and Artscapade, buying sprees at Meijers, Target, Linens & Things, meals at South Quad and Bursley and Stockwell (food sucks at Stockwell! phooey), morning runs to everyplace imaginable, gymming at the CCRB, rugby practice, rowing tryouts, and yeah, of course, classes which started on Tuesday. Even though I can't deny that my class schedule seems really good (which it is), the workload already looks staggeringly heavy. It's only the first week of classes and already I don't dare to procrastinate (like how I spent much of my JC life, lol), because once you neglect to do the readings they'll just accumulate and haunt you when it comes to midterms and finals. So far the best class has been Cultural Anthropology- it's really interesting and I think the lecturer's a blast, and to think that was a class I picked to sorta fill up my last open credit slot. I'm still not into the Iliad and the Odyssey and the Greek tomes we get in Great Books- to be honest, if it weren't a requirement I'd never have taken a second look at it.

Haha it's sort of strange how prior to when I came I had thoughts about being subsumed into the some of the more questionable aspects of American culture- the wild frat parties, Greek life, drinking, drugs, that sort of thing. And yeah I guess it is prevalent, well not exactly overwhelmingly so, but it Does exist, just perhaps not to such a large extent as I thought there might have been. Sure, sometimes I open the door of my room and see some topless guy chasing a shrieking, laughing girl down the corridor and disappearing into a room with the door slamming behind them. And I've heard stories about how one of the Singaporean freshies in UM apparently has two druggies as roommates- when he walks into the room it's a purple haze with the pot and all. But somehow I don't know. I really don't give a shit about all the partying and crap like that. Before I reached, I thought I'd at least be curious and go check out one or two of the parties. You know how they say lots of freshmen, when they arrive in a foreign place, they suddenly feel so liberated that they throw all caution to the wind and indulge in wild abandon? I just read a blog which mentioned that scholars, in particular, do this sort of thing because they've been holed up working their asses off in Singapore for too long. Ha I won't say too much, except that it is an unfair generalisation. Anyway, even when some of the other singaporeans suggested checking out the asian frat parties and stuff like that, i just gave it a pass. Nah. I don't know why, but it's like I feel I've got so many other things to do than just getting stoned or drunk or wasted. And there are a lot of people and things (and, well, Organizations, LOL) that are important to me back in Singapore that I guess I'm just here to do my best and live up to their (and my) expectations. Not to mention keeping the faith of the people that I live for. Strange, isn't it? To become a chao mugger here. Lol...


***
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me
Please stay

I've just bought myself a Flickr Pro Account under Ted's influence- so I'm going to be storing all my photos (and some from his camera too) in this place. You can access my pictures from the macromedia flash link at the left of the screen- do go have a look because it's likely that there'll be new photos pretty often, which will allow you guys to track what I've been doing (and also to tell me whether I'm on my way to Freshman 15- please be honest here! I would really appreciate that. Haha.)

I went to watch my first american football game at the Michigan Stadium (aka. the Big House) yesterday. It was the Big Ten Conference season opener- with UM taking on Northern Illinois University, or NIU. I don't recall having watched any other major sporting event live before- the nearest I've ever gotten to is probably National Schools Track & Field which is peanuts compared to this, so it definitely was a great experience. Just to give you an idea of the scale of the event- 110,971 people turned up for the match, which also was the 4th largest recorded turnout at the Big House for a Big Ten opening match. Apparently, NIU isn't a very important rival- so we still managed to get tickets for the match. For the rest of the games coming up- tickets are being sold at astronomical prices, going up to $200 + even, for example like the game against Notre Dame or that against Ohio State. Man. I don't have the money for those! Despite not knowing anything about american football prior to the game, and not being able to see where the ball was till play halted during the first quarter, I managed to get into the drift of things after a while and I must say that I did enjoy watching it pretty much. Even though it's not as flowing as soccer, so a 15-minute quarter ends up 45 minutes long, and the entire game takes about 3 hours to end.

Anyway UM won 33-17. The offence was excellent, but their defence was fraught with holes. Absolutely awful, especially the way in which the first touchdown was scored by NIU. The guy just whizzed past the UM defence. Man.

Just returned from a night of activities that kicked off life in UM proper. Most of the USA freshmen have arrived on campus and moved into the residence halls- so the place has been bustling with activity over the last few days. Streets blocked, parking lots rendered temporarily unusable, buses rerouted- all to facilitate the mass incoming migration of freshmen. My roommate arrived yesterday- she's from Traverse City, MI, and she seems like someone I can get along splendidly with. And I'm really grateful for that fact, can't imagine having to share personal space with someone who'd irk me to no end. So far I think the food at South Quad is just great, I don't know why, but I appreciate residence hall food a lot! Well there's a permanent salad bar, which is good enough for me. And the quality of the food is pretty decent, so I don't have any objections at all. The CCRB (central campus recreation building) has become my new hotspot. Well, you see, it does have a state-of-the-art gym, which I think is absolutely brilliant. There's also a cardio room with so many different machines- elliptical trainers, the quintessential treadmill, ergometer, spinning machine, even a skiing machine thing! I could just go on about the CCRB facilities forever. Although I do have a minor gripe about the pool- it's only 25m long with 6 lanes, and so that's kind of detracted me from swimming while I'm at UM. Perhaps in the winter when it's too cold to run I'll revert back to the pool (it's an indoor heated affair).

I spent my evening at the new student convocation for the class of 2009, held at the Crisler Arena. I don't really like going for such things, but I thought it was a pretty symbolic affair to initiate us into the student body. And I'm glad I went, even if I did doze off halfway during one of the several speeches. I intend to make life at UM a special experience for myself and I guess that's a starting point. There were a couple of events going on simultaneously at Central Campus- Artscapade at the Museum of Art and Escapade at the Union, so Ted (another Singaporean and a newfound friend) wandered around the area pretty aimlessly because the place was thronged with people heading towards the free food giveaways scattered throughout the Union. We were remarking how different varsity life in the States is as compared to Singapore- and no matter how hard Singapore universities try to figure out the secret behind the vibe of US varsities, they'll never be able to attain the same standards. One reason, we figured, was due to the fact that Singapore doesn't possess the same sort of competitive athletic standards so prevalent in the US- like how NCAA sports and the Big Ten and all that sort of thing evoke such strong school loyalties and feelings from the supporters- you'll never be able to find that in Singapore. A pity, but well.

Anyway so far life has been great here- I've got Honors kick-off tomorrow at 9am (which ruins my plans of going to the CCRB at 9plus like i normally do, I'll just have to go earlier at 7 instead bah). We've a book to discuss, it's called "When Germs Travel" by Howard Markel, which I should really get started on. I am filled with a sense of urgency (albeit a bit too late). Okay I'll blog sometime else... meanwhile, enjoy the pictures below! :)

Escapade 2005! 

Artscapade 2005! 

A student acapella group called the G-Men- the guy on the screen sang "you make me wanna" by usher, which is notoriously difficult to stay in tune to- and did a fabulous job to boot.  

it was held at the Crisler Arena- where the NCAA college basketball games are played. Rather big, but sort of stuffy  

New Student Convocation for the U of M Class of 2009 

the Big House! 

speaks for itself... the Michigan Stadium seats over a 100,000 people, double that of the National Stadium. So that gives you a bit of an idea of the size. 

the room- a bit bare i know, we haven't yet decided how to go about arranging stuff.  

someone hung underwear on the sprinkler! and it's from victoria's secret (i looked) 

some of the s'porean girls at UM and a new friend in green- (un)surprisingly all of us are from RJC. lol