hey best friend
i was just thinking about you and how we haven't gotten a decent chance to meet and just talk in so long. but thanks for always been there when i've needed you. you don't know how much your messages and your everlasting encouragement mean to me. maybe i've taken you for granted sometimes but i really want you to know that i love you and i hope that we'll be able to find the time to meet and talk things out.
thanks dear.

-fengyi [njc jan-mar 03a01]

been a year since i left nj for rj. and somehow i still think about it every so often. was it the right decision? i remember struggling like anything to choose between the two colleges. first three months in nj were heavenly, an experience unlike anything i'd ever had before. the fantastic classmates (03a01 v.1.0, you know who you are!), excellent ogls, 35th student council, great friends, aeriusaquaignissolaristerra, my four gorgeous eyecandies *snicker*, basketball, and even njcanoeing.

how could i ever forget those things? with people like liwei huifang zhiwei (ta-daa! the pootie family)... winnie, my first friend in a01, and even the funny folks like khalid and duckles! and of course my basketball-loving solaris houserep with the funky skaterboi shoes, cute braces and fab smile. ugh he was great too. hahaha provided me with tons of viewing pleasure, and hours of agonizing over how to possibly pilfer his photo from the solaris board. which i never got around to doing, but at least i got his number! hahaha thanks bestfriend -wink-

the numerous ccas i tried- canoeing softball touchrugby basketball dance (yes, dance, believe it or not... erps hiphop you asses) hmmm what else ahh. can't really remember. njcanoeing. oh god i've got positively vivid memories of fartlek runs, circuits with 3 sets of 20 exercises, and going round in circles in a t2 with wah ming one stormy day at kallang. and the handball games after training (which i'm convinced were a ploy to make innocent j1s think that playing handball was all they did for training, which really wasn't the case). and the inspirational talks (really!) by mr.yong with his perpetual half-shut eyes ,that made me really want to train hard. i still remember one particularly motivational quote: "when you are at your worst, you must be at your opponent's best" oh and just before chinese new year, when wenkai issued a threat during debriefs to the entire team that a single slice of bak kwa warranted 20 rounds around the track. the warmups and the runs and the j1s and the j2 seniors (oh god she's still so chio i can't take it anymore).

it's really good to reminisce about everything. i'll get back to it soon.

------------------------------------------------------------------
chionging k2 500m tmr. this race means the world to me.
psyche up, let's go.

fear of rejection keeps my heart at bay
things i'd rather not say
i'd rather haveyouclose
than never at all

-- maybe some things are better left unsaid.

leqi ordered me to blog, and so i shall be good, and do as i'm told.

end of common tests finally. gp was okay, eng relatively good, no comments about econs, math as usual (hopeless as hell) and geog generally doable. i actually enjoyed the human geog section quite a bit. i've got quite an affinity for human geog! if only the same would apply to my other subjects. carol chan was damn stoned this morning as a result of history overkill (the night before?) i keep picturing her glazed eyes in my mind. it's oddly haunting.

after geog i did something that i was rather pleased about. pretty fun too. a tad sneaky but no harm, only good intended! but i shan't reveal the specifics. hey if YOU're reading this (you should know who you are) i hope it was a nice surprise.

***
tell me, i guess that cupid was in disguise
the day you walked in and changed my life
i think it's amazing
the way that love can set you free

so now i walk in the midday sun
i never thought that my saviour would come
i think it's amazing
i think you're amazing
***

towning with my darling vania after geog paper. initially wanted to catch a show at lido but there wasn't anything particularly appealing so we went to HMV. spent quite a bit of time there, listened to george michael's amazing four times. i'm in love with that song! it's mesmerizing. and the track sorter was screwed up so i had to keep starting all over from the beginning of track 1. luckily it was only the second track so i amused myself looking at britney's and christina's albums. hah i'll never buy them (though i admit i do have a liking for toxic) and i hate christina.

unofficial training after that at kallang. arrived pretty early and was busying myself with pullups and dips. in the end the sji guys didn't turn up so leqi and i had jiao4 lian4's undivided attention which wasn't bad at all. and i've concluded i can never row an advantage k1. god.

going down to macritchie to try out the boats tmr. let's hope they aren't advantage boats. oh pleeeeease i don't want to capsize. what the hell. i'll row just the same anyway. checked out the schedule and namelist for sat's competition and realised that we have the last race of the day, conveniently timed to take place at precisely 5:33pm. shucks. oh well. and lane one again! well let's hope that's my lucky lane. only 4 lanes per heat, 2 heats for my event, first from each heat goes straight to finals and second and third to semis. i hope to avoid semis. ughhhh slacker! haha.

must start psyching up for saturday. it's my most important race so far for certain reasons that i have. and i know my partner feels the same. hey babe let's do it man. the way we always do -wink-.

yeeaaahhhh chiong ahhhh!
scfktwo500mhereicome!

this goes out to you--

kind of like a summer's breeze
you do exactly as you please
drop a brother to his knees just for fun
i think it was the first of may
girl i can't forget the day
right then and there i knew you were the one
do you think that possibly
you could spend your life with me
cuz girl this love is growing
and it's hotter than the sun

i get a little bit crazy, baby
everytime you call my name
my heart beats a little bit faster
after you are in my arms again
you try to fight it
don't even try to hide it
emotions falling down like the rain
I can't find the words to explain it
ain't it crazy how i fall
everytime you call my name

it's kind of like a work of art
you shot an arrow through my heart
even though we're worlds apart i can't deny
it feels like you're a part of me
the finish and the start of me
girl you are the heart of me
and that's no lie
did i mention that i love you so
and i just want the world to know
if i could you know i would
write your name across the sky

crazy, crazy
everytime that you're close to me
i lose control of my sanity
every night, everyday, every word that you say
girl do you know you put a spell on me

crazy
everytime you call my name
i don't know what to do
i'm so in love with you

javier \\ crazy


you make the world such a beautiful place.

oh my i've got so much to say that i don't know where to start.
first of all thank you everyone who was there cheering us on- you don't know how much you all mean to me. and thanks to the j1s for being so conscientious in wiping the boats, affixing the number plates, bringing food, washing boats, and all the other small things that we mightn't have noticed.

first race of the day was open women's k2 250m. quite jittery in the morning, i mean, we weren't even supposed to do 250s in the first place, but the protein bar and my trusty lifejacket no. 10 calmed me down quite a bit! luckily we had warmed up first by trying the racecourse and all. leqi and i were assigned lane 3. when the airhorn was blown we just chionged! gosh i don't even think there was much of a difference between our starts and maintenance. lost sight of the other boats out of the corner of my eye after the first few strokes, and that's when i knew we were going to win. the feeling of gliding through the finish line at top speed. god that sprint was over in a flash. but it really got the adrenalin pumping and the feeling of my first ever win in canoeing was exhilarating!

under-19 women t2 500m was great too. carol and i set out from the very start to claim the title which we didn't even come within sniffing distance of last year to some blatant cheats. this was probably the event i had the most confidence in, knowing that it was highly improbable that we'd have any chance of capsizing and unforseen wobbles. hahaha. surged forward from the very start, progressively widening the gap- gosh it was probably the best 500m i'd ever rowed in a t2. almost had the gliding feeling of a k2, that's how good it felt. it was a fantastic race too.

under-19 women k2 500m! my last race of the day and leqi and i were both determined to walk away with our third gold. man what else can i say but that we both went all out for that race. gave it all we had and we made our dream come true. take that, njc.

carol carol carol! god i still can't believe we managed to fulfill our dream of stopping paddling before the end... because we knew that nobody'd be able to catch us. well we did it. oh and sorry if i yelled at you haha. and we avenged our loss! way to go, girl! and congrats for t1 too. you rowed darn well. i'm really proud of you. love you.

thanks so much leqi for the beautiful 250m and 500m. we knew we'd do it right from the beginning, when we started training together. yet the results were more than i dared to fathom... the fact that we managed to beat the other boats by a couple of boatlengths as we'd wanted to all along and coming in with spectacular timings. even after the initial glitch in 500m heats we didn't let it affect us again and rowed most perfect races possible in the finals. see i told you we'd fly. us and RJC 13. and bananaman and rjc10. thank you thank you thank you. i love you, partner. we're gonna chiong for nat'l jnr kayaking c'ships. let's show them. you did great for k1 too! damn zai can. thrashing nj every step of the way.

girls: even though we didn't manage to hang on to the sdba title this year... we know that this year nj isn't out of our league! the nationals title isn't merely a dream, it's an achievable goal. let's work towards it. we can do it if we all train hard and focus. let's go!

first day of heats for SDBA.
t2 was good, k2 was good save for a minor screw-up
but things can only get better!

k2 250m open tmr. all psyched up and raring to go. last minute alteration from 500m to 250m but it's okay, we'll go all out all the same.

good job, all my teammates. you went out there and gave it your best. whatever the result was, i think you all deserve a pat on the back. we showed the other schools we're no pushover.
all the best for semis and finals.

to my t2 partner: oh god we fulfilled our dream of gliding through the finish. let's see if we can replicate that feat on sunday! no sweat man. oh, and sorry if i yelled at you. hahaha.

to my k2 partner: let's go out there and kick some ass! no more wobbles yeah? i've effectively erased that image from my mind and now all that's left is the prospect of rowing like there's no tomorrow. let's chiong all the way!


-- raffles canoeists --

raffles canoeists '04:
this is the curtain raiser, only the beginning of better things to come
let's give it our best shot.

we've been training for a year now. this is our first real opportunity to make things count, to make the countless trainings worth it. it's our chance to show others what we're truly made of, to justify the dedication to our sport.

girls
k1s: leqi, zhen, lyd
t1s: carol, mag
k2s: sheryl & gao shang, weiqi & mag, vania & shine, leqi & fengyi
t2s: vania & shine, carol & fengyi

let's go girls! let's kick ass out there! remember, all that we're going to think about from start to end is winning, and we'll not settle for anything less than that. this is what we've worked for since we began training, and we're not about to lose anything now.

guys
you can do it too! yeah i've got confidence that the entire team's going to put in all they have and row like it's their last race. that's all. we'll win this as raffles canoeists, as a college team. let's show the true rafflesian spirit.



and i'm thankful for the fact that i'll have you at the finish line with me.


the titles belong to us.

singing--- hey you! what do you want for your bday present huh? and you better keep in mind that you still owe me a certain m. wahlberg from our deal two years back. anyway a k1 is a single-seater racing kayak, and a k2 is a double-seater racing kayak. they're more streamlined, faster and generally more unstable than the T1 and T2, which are, as you would probably have deduced, a single-seater tourer and a double-seater tourer, respectively. and the kayaks have rudders for direction which is actually quite a good thing, except that i can't seem to use them properly.

ugh just watched the first half of the second leg of the bayern-real match. thanks mag for the wake-up call! heheh. zidane's goal was beautifully opportunistic! bayern defence sleeping! anyway i have nothing but highest respect for zidane, think he's a brilliant player. you wouldn't be able to expect anything less from the world player of the year! casillas made a couple of swell stops as well... smothering makaay's first attempt, ze roberto's blistering shot, and denying makaay just before the break!

that being said, i'm still a fervent FC Bayern supporter.

go Bayern Munich!

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
1. the thought of doing k2 with gao shang
2. a-level math
3. gao shang, generally.

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
1. the canoeists!
2. quan when she regales me with horror stories of her one and only canoeing experience.
3. jiao4 lian4

THREE THINGS/PEOPLE I LOVE:
1. vania (on pain of death, i shall put this down)
2. rowing k2
3. you.

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. why shit happens
2. why i can't balance in a k1
3. why stuff disappears from my locker.

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
1. a mess
2. a big mess
3. a REALLY BIG mess.

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
1. typing this
2. discussing possibilities of an orgy with gao shang
3. feeling disgusted at my audacity

THREE THINGS I DO BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP :
1. visualization!
2. pee.
3. no need to do much before i fall asleep in gp, actually.

THREE COLORS I LIKE:
1. red
2. white
3. grey
(fine i'm still an nj loyalist when it comes to their school colors)

THREE THINGS I CAN DO WITHOUT THE HELP OF OTHERS:
1. make pinchuan unable to believe his ears twice within the space of a few minutes (really sorry if i traumatised you, pc)
2. capsize in a k1
3. make people feel guilty about stuffing their faces

THREE WAYS PEOPLE DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY:
1. screwed up
2. strange
3. gym rat.

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
1. lick my elbow
2. change the way i am
3. say what i really want to say to whoever i want to say it to

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
1. me
2. your parents
3. the government.

THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO
EVER:
1. econs lectures in general
2. gao shang
3. liars.

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. "i'll be going to the weights room while you stuff your face at ghim moh..."
2. "you're strange"
3. "screw you, gao shang"

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
now this is difficult. they aren't exactly absolute favorites, just healthy favorites. haha.
1. oatmeal
2. rj yong tau foo
3. subway anythings

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
1. teenage mutant ninja turtles
2. sesame street
3. all the disney crap.

lao shi owes us a treat now! the entire class got at least a B for ao chinese! whoopee. heheh got A1 for chinese at last! makes the past year of cheena-ness worth it, i guess. think of the breaks i could have had... stuffing my face at ghim moh or working out at the weights room (according to quan, she thinks i'd rather eat shit and die than do the former). haha. quite an improvement from promos' B4 (and that was only because lao shi took away five marks for every zuo4 wen1 we conveniently neglected to submit, and i didn't hand in two). oh well.

man i'm damn inspired by the j3 canoeing girls! congrats to them for doing so well. so many of them got 4As, and laymay's really good! haha okay i'm aiming for what she achieved. poo which means i'll have to mug my ass off and train like hell. but i'll try.

ugh unofficial training at kallang today, which only carol, lyd, vania and i went for. the three of them ended school at 12:30pm and left straightaway! so i had to cab down myself at 2pm (damn damn pissed! cab fare was ten f**cking bucks! i'm how broke now can). wasted lots of time moving a k2 and k1 around before i could open the paddle cupboard, and when i opened it i realised i couldn't find my paddle. so i tried the lifejacket cupboard, and lo and behold it was there! ughhhh. so i had to move the damned k2 back by myself which was no easy feat. haha but don't worry i didn't handle it roughly or anything... it's RJC 13 which happens to be mine and leqi's competition k2! heheh. then all of a sudden the neurotic guy in charge of sdba (i think) appeared... (the one who reported us to bp for coming down on sun before) and i was damn freaked in case he asked me what i was doing. anyway he keeps on calling me "boy". he called me that twice before. ass.

so anyway i had to pootle around for five minutes pretending to check the boats and shit like that. made a run for it (which wasn't very fast considering the fact that i was shouldering a k1 at the same time) when his back was turned, wobbled to the shore and quickly launched. awful! haha.

sheesh realised i have awful sense of balance. can't do starts in a k1 properly without wobbling! the furthest i made it was twenty-eight hard strokes during starts, and then came a mighty wobble. most unnerving. haha. dang. think i'll have to work on balance. oh well. haha gao shang appeared at the end of our training... at old sdba! from near the dragonboat docking area anyone could almost see up her skirt... but shhhh. ughhh just kidding! i'm not THAT twisted that i wanna look up her skirt... i have better things to do (like look up other people's skirts...) haha!anyway it was a nice surprise. heheh.

ugh boring day as usual. save for one funny bit in the morning during eng lecture when we were watching the tape of a passage to india. evans paused the film at a scene he found particularly thought-provoking, which happened to be one where the camera panned in on a signpost in the Indian city with place names like trafalgar square etc, all the english colonialist shit. he asked "so what's the significance of this particular scene?" then you could hear the expected snatches of mumbled replies like "to show the domination the colonialists have over india blah blah". must have been the lacklustre response that prompted him to venture one step further and ask, in his usual sneering drawl "does singapore have anything of the sort? using silly inappropriate english names?" suddenly from the back, a voice piped up, loud enough for the whole LT to hear:

"yes they do! Evans Rd!"

good one, aaron! ;)

boy i never knew canoeing was chockfull of sexual innuendoes and double entrendres! till yesterday. when leqi related a conversation she had with marcus and leslie that had us in stitches, while leaving weiqi in mock horror. (c'mon wq i know you're as corrupted as us all so quit protesting your innocence)

marcus: i love fengyi!
leqi: i love fengyi too! she's my partner! (she meant k2 partner, you freaks.)
leslie: errrr. partner? so how often do you do it?
leqi: well we go at it twice, maybe three times a week. depends on how things are. not under our control.
leslie: so how do you both do it?
leqi: hmmm one in front and one at the back...
leslie: so what's it like?
leqi: we start real fast, like real hard and fast, but things mellow down after the initial high and we keep it at that rate, constant and steady for the bulk of the time, but towards the end we go all out again!
leslie: and so do you like it?
leqi: it's fantastic! i love doing it!

and so the conversation went...

ugh we were all just thinking of other ways we could well, sex up the image of canoe practice and someone came up with the idea that yeah, we even use protection all the time! (in the form of life jackets, you jerks). if i remember correctly, gs was rather animated and lively during this conversation. well it's normal, since this IS her element after all. and who else could be half as experienced but her?

well yes and i guess canoeing DOES get you all hot sweaty and bothered. not forgetting the incredible wetness. and the glorious thrill of skimming over the water coupled with the adrenaline rush of rowing and winning every race... does it deserve to rank up there with "orgasmic"? hmm.


god i can't hardly wait till the next time. we could just keep going on and on... ;)



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hey
if we can't find a way out of these problems
then maybe we don't need this
standing face to face
enemies at war we build defences
and secret hiding places

i might need you to hold me tonight
i might need you to say it's alright
i might need you to make the first stand
because tonight i'm finding it hard to be your man

hey
more than angry words i hate this silence
it's getting so loud
well i want to scream
but bitterness has silenced these emotions
it's getting hard to breathe

so tell me isn't happiness
worth more than a gold diamond ring
i'm willing to do anything
to calm the storm in my heart
i've never been the praying kind
but lately i've been down upon my knees
not looking for a miracle
just a reason to believe

i might need you to hold me tonight
i might need you to say it's alright
i might need you to make the first stand
because tonight i'm finding it hard to be your man

do you remember not long ago
when we used to live for the nighttime
cherish each moment
now we don't live we exist
we just run through our lives
so alone
that's why you've got to hold me

hey
if we can't find a way out of these problems
then maybe we don't need this
standing face to face
enemies at war we build defences
and secret hiding places

i might need you to hold me tonight
i might need you to say it's alright
i might need you to make the first stand
because tonight i'm finding it hard to be your man

savage garden :: hold me
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
to you: well i don't know if you know how special you are to me. and i don't dare to find out just yet. i guess some things are just better left unsaid. i don't want to ruin the thing we have going right now...

okay i've linked leqi's album containing indoor rowing photos!
check it out on the right column under "snapshots!"


RJC 01 team photo. from right: shuyi, me, philip, leqi.

[RJC 01] national indoor rowing c'ships 2004


WE DID IT!


WE ACHIEVED WHAT WE SET OUT TO DO FROM THE VERY START.
WE SAID WE WOULDN'T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN FIRST PLACE
AND LOOK, HERE WE ARE.
=============================================================

to my first rower and newfound friend, shuyi:
thanks dude! you were awesome! it's been a pleasure getting to know you too. now you're no longer one of the faceless, nameless entities of rj but someone i actually know and appreciate. you provided our team with a great start and hey, you didn't fall off your seat either! thanks so much man.

especially for my second rower, beloved k2 partner and fab pal, leqi:
oh god what can i say. you were wonderful. thanks for the psychological and physical support! you're always there when i need you. i absolutely love rowing with you. let's translate our success here into similar ones on the water! sdba in three weeks let's show the world what we're made of. we can do it we're gonna thrash nj. have faith (and more protein bars haha). i love you.

and this goes out to my fourth rower and great friend, philip:
hey man! okay there's nothing i can say that you don't already know. you were fantastic. you single-handedly maneuvered us into first place. i admire your fighting spirit! and thanks for getting us all so psyched up. you're the one who had the belief that we'd be able to clinch the title and not just settle for second best. thanks for the motivation. keep the spirit alive for sdba and nationals!

well,RJC01, we truly lived up to our name. it's been an honour rowing with you, shuyi. you, leqi. and you, philip. thanks once again.




=============================================================

man i'm dead on my feet after an entire day of machine rowing! only found out that i was entered in the indiv1000m race at 4am this morning. not surprisingly, i was unable to go back to sleep after that. wasn't really prepared for the 1000m as i hadn't rowed anything close to that amount since the totaldefence day race. and i only realised that i hadn't adjusted my resistance until 4 seconds to start! awful! was leading for first 500m but wasn't able to sustain and dropped to 3rd. oh well. anyway i managed to better my timing by 4seconds, to 4:04min. wasn't really chionging for 1000m, conserving precious energy for the mixed relay later.

which was a good idea.

heats were not bad. we managed to sustain a pretty decent lead throughout the race which was good. finished with a timing of 7:08min. managed to slash our previous timing by 22sec! marvelous huh. and gao shang took nice pictures of us rowing! woohoo.

finals were awesome, courtesy of philip. in second place throughout from the start, till the last 500m where philip just gave it his all and shot us past the throwers to first position. we definitely couldn't have done it without him. the feeling of capturing the title was exhilarating, pure ecstasy, something i want over and over again.

leqi and i were absolutely euphoric! took lots of pictures that i'll post someday when she sends them to me. great day. got so much more than i bargained for. rj totally dominated the entire competition haha. i mean, 16 rj teams contrasted with a smattering of teams from other schools! rather amusing, really. makes us seem super-enthusiastic.

well it was a great time to get to know others better as well as a time to bond with the canoeists. thanks everyone who was cheering us on, and huilin i admire your strength and tenacity to row out that agonizing 2000m! wonderful senior you are. thanks especially to qing and xy who came down to support us! gosh i owe you two a big treat! hey tell me when you guys are free yeah. we need to do a spot of catching-up as well! went out with brandon chengshi shuyi and leqi after that, caught "along came polly" before leaving for home.

good job to all the fellow rj rowers! the trackers, throwers, shuttlers, air rifle ppl, odac ppl, ssc ppl and all else... and in particular the canoeists, the people i've truly gone through thick and thin with. let's go all out for SDBA! three weeks to the championships. only a couple more trainings left... let's make the most out of them!



we're not just going there to compete
we're going to WIN!

there used to be a greying tower alone on the sea
you became the light on the dark side of me
love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill
but did you know that when it snows
my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen

baby i compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you
stranger it feels, yeah
and now that your rose is in bloom
a light hits the gloom on the grey

there is so much a man can tell you
so much he can say
you remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
baby to me you're like a growing addiction that i can't deny
won't you tell me is that healthy, baby
but did you know that when it snows
my eyes become large
and the light that you shine can be seen

baby i compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you
stranger it feels, yeah
and now that your rose is in bloom
a light hits the gloom on the grey

i've been kissed by a rose on the grey
i've been kissed by a rose
i've been kissed by a rose on the grey
and if i should fall along the way
i've been kissed by a rose
been kissed by a rose on the grey

there is so much a man can tell you
so much he can say
you remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
baby to me you're like a growing addiction that i can't deny
won't you tell me is that healthy, baby
but did you know that when it snows
my eyes become large
and the light that you shine can be seen

baby i compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you
stranger it feels, yeah
and now that your rose is in bloom
a light hits the gloom on the grey
yes i compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
ooh, the more i get of you
stranger it feels, yeah

and now that your rose is in bloom
a light hits the gloom on the grey
now that your rose is in bloom
a light hits the gloom on the grey

seal \\ kiss from a rose

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

weiqi, this song's for you! you're right, it IS a unbelievable song. i can't stop myself from playing it over and over now.

shall blog about the events over the past few days.

fri
total defence day celebrations! was too psyched up the whole day over machine rowing which was only going to take place in the afternoon. quite nervous initially, because of the throwers we were up against. seeing aaron having to be helped off the machine after his 2000m race kind of made me wary of what was going to happen later. gosh i died rowing 1km. i guess you don't really feel it when you're on the rowing machine pulling like hell on the cable, until you get off, or try to get off. the four minutes eight seconds i was on the rower felt like an eternity. the figures went by so slowly i could have given up any time. i'm thankful i didn't or i would never have forgiven myself for that. i guess i was in a trance-like state for most of the race, eyes fixed on the mini lcd screen, not even bothering to look up at the projection screen where you could see computerized positions of the boats, that i didn't even know i was catching up with audry.

anyway i just died totally after the race. couldn't even drag myself off the machine, gao shang had to somehow unentangle me from the seat and manouvre me off. couldn't move for a whole five minutes after that. now i know what it's like to have leaden legs. and apparently my lips were blue during and after the race. man. after i finally got up i wobbled downstairs to the canteen (backwards down the stairs, it's easier that way) and up again. anyway i'm totally in awe of michelle! she beat me by an entire ten seconds. nothing but total respect. anyway i'm glad that i managed 2nd.

relay was good too! i was just raring to go and you could just see the look of intense concentration of aaron's face just before the race started. he handed us a good lead that we managed to maintain and that philip even widened. i think i much prefer sprinting over shorter distances like 500m to stupid 1k races. we were so happy with our time of 7min 30sec and our 2nd position again. (as expected, the throwers were in a league of their own). thanks aaron, leqi and philip. you guys were great! canoeists' never-say-die spirit. look forward to next sunday's relay! let's make sure we get something out of that. oh and kudos to all the other canoeists who were cheering us on during our relay! we were doing the same for you too. let's keep the team spirit going.

sat
training in the morning which i always look forward to. k2 with leqi, extremely good as usual. challenged to a 250m race with a j3 in a t1, whom we promptly beat by a substantial distance. hope he got a kick out of that, because we sure did. hey canoeists check this link out... there's a picture of jiao4 lian4 and his full name! haha the fact that nobody ever seems to know his full name dawned on us the other day.
anyway we had a blast after training at kenny rogers' at suntec... pictures speak a thousand words, so wait for me to put pictures up when sheryl and zhen send them to me. let's just say some of them are rather dubious photos that will have you doubting our principles (or lack thereof). and many of them feature someone's ample assets. *wink gs* i think i shall sign off now. eyes are killing me.

till then...

think i better leave right now
before i fall any deeper
think i better leave right now
i'm feeling weaker and weaker
somebody better show me how
before i fall any deeper


i think i'd better leave right now.

as usual, leqi, it was a pleasure rowing with you today. thanks partner.

leqi and i both agree wholeheartedly that there should be a 2km event. it's fabulous on the return 1km leg. indescribable feeling- the adrenaline rush and being secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to catch any boat that's in front of you, given the 1000m leeway you have. but too bad that there isn't 2km! so we'll just have to settle for shorter distances. water was pretty bad today, wind so overwhelmingly blustery, that we found it extremely difficult to paddle, but it was a good chance to get used to inclement weather conditions. you'll never know what raceday conditions will be like. the 500m practices and starts were good too. it was one of those training sessions that i felt were very fruitful and worth the while. anyway we can only get better. mag, weiqi, hope you guys get well soon. and don't worry too much, there's still time.

i'm really psyched up for sdba c'ships. gunning for the title.
i'll give it all i've got. i'll train till all my strength's drained.
i'm not alone in this.

it's a beautiful feeling, knowing the whole team's with you.

|[raffles canoeists :: 2003-2004]|

man i haven't heard this song for ages! was doing weights in bishan gym on monday when i heard the familiar strains on perfect 10... it's a pretty nice song.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
constantly girl you're on my mind
girl i think about you all of the time
and even no words are hard to say
girl i miss you, never thought i'd feel this way

if you keep on taking
my heart you'll be breaking
so why do you do this to me
you know how i'm feeling
it's you i believe in
baby can't you see that i need you

you know that it's true
every time i see your face i miss you lady
you know that it's you
i wanna let you know you're driving me crazy
i'd do anything to help you to see
i don't think you understand what you're doing to me
you know that it's true
every now and then i wanna call you lately
you know that it's you
i send a prayer that you'll come back to me lady
oh yeah
i feel anything alone, can't you see
you're an angel in my eyes
everyday you're closer to me

nobody's there when i call your name
and nights are cold girl without your flame
nights are cold girl without your flame
but if i could girl i'd make you see
i'd make you see, yeah
that i'm sorry
------------------------------------------------------------------------
five closer to me

just finished my econs essay on market failure, and i realised i didn't lose my notes after all! they were just filed away somewhere under "mathematics", which is probably why it took me so long to find them. weights training today (what's new?), pretty uneventful, and intervals after that. i was down with a bout of flu (sore throat, one blocked and one runny nostril, quite disconcerting really) but still did the 2 x 2.4km with 12min rest in between. haha was quite worried initially about all those horror stories where fit people just drop dead because they overexert when they're sick, but still pushed myself to run anyway. managed 13.04min for first 2.4 and 13.20min for the next one. at least i didn't feel too sick when i was running. hopefully i can slash my timing when i get better... was far from top form! i guess i don't ever want to miss training because every session really counts a lot, and i'm perpetually afraid my standard will deterioriate (it's so much easier to lose it all than build it up) if i miss training. it's become an integral part of my life. i could even go as far as to say that i absolutely love training, but then people will just think i'm weird, which is what they probably already do. well perhaps they're right. i was just thinking to myself that canoeing's such an important part of my life that i just want to continue even after As. oh and besides, i never want to hear stray whispers from my juniors "hey look! she's gone all fat and pasty!" if i come back to visit. NEVER. pasty is disgusting. eurrgghh. i don't want to be reduced to a pale, viscous, gently pulsating glob of lard. gross.

well anyway, as i was saying, training's extremely important to me! i love pushing myself to my limit. it just gives me that adrenaline rush and immense sense of satisfaction which is irreplaceable. i'm looking forward to SDBA invitationals. let's go all out and thrash everyone else man. everyone says gold for nationals isn't attainable, that nj's too strong. well they might be stronger, but we're not going to give up without a fight. raffles all the way man! let's prove to everyone that we can be as good, if not better, than them. why can't we, anyway?

man i'm all psyched up, and it's the middle of the night.

hmm. better go sleep now. long day tomorrow with soccer practice!

blog sometime again haha.

to my utmost horror, i've realised that i actually think the song "toxic" by britney spears is damn good! well okay maybe not damn good, but still good! ah whatever.

stuff's been pretty good lately. lots of j1 girls seem to be interested in canoeing, and those who came down on monday were a pretty nice bunch. and one of them can even do 2 pullups! yeahh we need that sort. let's hope that they stay on then. unfortunately after introductions and all i've already acquired an awful reputation as Porn Director (courtesy of gao shang, my Porn Star). screw you, gao shang. whichever way you want it.

after 2.4km timed trial yesterday, i've suddenly found the long-lost motivation to run. aiming for a 12min flat run but it'll take some time. but at least i'm getting there! did about a total of 7km today which is alright i guess.

my hair sucks can.

kept nodding off during tutorials today. especially during evans' classes. tried to keep on writing in my semi-conscious state just so hopefully he wouldn't notice my shut eyelids, and after i more or less woke up i realised it was all a bunch of gibberish. during one of these episodes during eng lecture i almost wrote a rather dubious word down, then jerked awake and caught myself just in time. sheesh.

did weights during chinese break today (finally there's no chinese for me any longer!) which was altogether very satisfying. threw in sets of dumbbell flys in between and now lyd thinks i'm crazy. then again, everyone thinks the canoeists are crazy (well perhaps i'm the craziest of them all) and so i don't give a shit.

had better do stuff for girls' soccer. haven't had practice in ages! which reminds me that i haven't played basketball in eons as well. anyway some ass poached my basketball from my locker during the hols (the one i got for my birthday and signed by the nygeppers) and i have absolutely no clue who it might be. oh and that's not all. the dude was so kind as to leave me a rotten grey volleyball in place. yeah i guess i ought to be appreciative, but it's hard, understandably.

been mugging. really have to hit the books early this year. i've got so much j1 stuff that hasn't really been cleared, and econs 's' to handle as well! ugh. i shall be a chao mugger this year. my life revolves solely around canoeing and studies. no life! at least canoeing is undoubtebly very fulfilling. it's a welcome break from mugging, which is why i like training so much. and the team is great!

***
to sheryl weiqi leqi lyd zhen carol vania mag shine and... err. gaoshang ;)
hello my teammates! just to let you guys know, you make my life so much better!
train hard while mugging hard as well and we're gonna take the sdba championships just like last year!
if you need me, i'll be in the back seat! ;)

love you guys so much
-fengyi
***
someday somehow gonna make it alright but not right now
i know you're wondering when

fuck those rumours. it's been an awful day and it's not getting any better.

==========================================
loose lips sunk ships
i'm getting to grips
with what you said
no it's not in my head
i can't awaken the dead
day after day

why don't we talk about it
why do you always doubt
that there can be a better way
it doesn't make me wanna stay

why don't we break up
there's nothing left to say
i've got my eyes shut
praying they won't stray
and we're not sexed up
that's what makes the difference today
i hope you blow away

you say we're fatally flawed
well i'm easily bored
is that okay
write me off your list
make this the last kiss
i'll walk away

why don't we talk about it
i'm only here don't shout it
given time we'll forget
let's pretend we never met

why don't we break up
there's nothing left to say
i've got my eyes shut
praying they won't stray
and when i'm sexed up
that's what makes the difference today
i hope you blow away

screw you
i didn't like your taste anyway
i chose you
and that's all gone to waste
it's saturday
i'll go out
and find another you

why don't we

why don't we break up
there's nothing left to say
i've got my eyes shut
praying they won't stray
and when i'm sexed up
that's what makes the difference today
i hope you blow away
i hope you blow away
i hope you blow away

away
blow away
==========================================

robbie williams sexed up

be flying off in a couple of hours. on my way to Frankfurt! and from then on to switzerland and paris somewhat later. haven't really gotten into the travelling mood yet- i keep forgetting im supposed to be heading for the airport in less than 5 hours.

well don't have much that i want to blog about anyway. had land training with huilin leqi and weiqi this morning, which was pretty good. then again how bad can land training be? but i had awful stitches during the run- luckily there were traffic lights so i could bend over and touch my toes. haha. headed for j8 to do more CIP later, which wasn't entirely bad in itself, but rather expectedly boring. but talking to weiqi and gao shang managed to alleviate the boredom successfully.

also finished what i set out to do.

wow im damn tired think i'm becoming an insomniac- stayed up late last night to finish some important xmas stuff and i really couldn't sleep after that- guess there're just too many things on my mind. sad things.

well then- think i'll leave off now. have fun everyone, i'll be back on the 2nd! hahaa!


==========================================
to the girl who's perfect to me (you know who you are)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
you look into my eyes
i go out of my mind
i can't see anything
cause this love's got me blind
i can't help myself
i can't break the spell
i can't even try

i'm in over my head
you got under my skin
i've got no strength at all
in the state that i'm in
and my knees are weak
and my mouth can't speak
fell too far this time

baby, i'm too lost in you
caught in you
lost in everything about you
so deep, i can't sleep
i can't think
i just think about the things that you do (you do)
i'm too lost in you
(too lost in you)

ooh
well you whispered to me
and i shiver inside
you undo me and move me
in ways undefined
and you're all i see
and you're all i need
help me baby (help me baby)
help me baby (help me now)

cause i'm slipping away
like the sand to the tide
falling into your arms
falling into your eyes
if you get too near
i might disappear
i might lose my mind

i'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(i can't eat and i can't sleep)
i'm going down like a stone in the sea
yeah no one can mess with me
(no one can mess with me)

oooh, my baby
oooh, baby, baby

i'm too lost in you

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
sugababes too lost in you

it's been a pretty good week! and i've blown alot of cash on stuff!
1. arsenal home jersey (with ljungberg name and no.! and epl sleeve patches!)
2. aiwa md player
3. sony digicam (okay i didnt really pay for this one, my parents did, but that's even better!)
4. bayern munich champs league jersey which i got today! yeah yeah yeah!

oh and i checked out the bugis village place opp. bugis junction where they have lots of damn cool clothes yesterday, meaning to go to this particular stall where they sell adidas retro jackets and other throwback stuff like nba jerseys and all! so i went there and was looking for a nice jacket when i stumbled across this bayern munich jacket! man i was darned happy. well yes.
so...
5. bayern munich jacket!

can you tell i love BAYERN MUNICH? yes yes they're second in the bundesliga now!

well shit im damned poor now la so. hahaha.

on my way to training on monday, i got off the bus at the kallang bus stop and guess who i saw crossing the road? junyi! hahaha! (for those who know about the stupid sec1 thingummy, good for you! damn paiseh la.) man it's been a long time really! especially since he went to perth for studies and came back for the hols. pretty good to catch up with him (he's doing ns at the police coast guard at kallang) especially since i've only had the opportunity to talk to him online! yeah so was quite pleasantly surprised!

it's been a week of meeting people! today on my way home from peninsula shopping centre i changed to NEL at dhoby ghaut interchange and met liwei! that was really great! especially since i don't get to see her that much due to our clashing schedules and all that shit! man i've missed her!

i've missed a lot of people. especially those i haven't seen in real eons- like the NJC 03a01 people (how are you guys man?) and the NYgeppers! man! training takes up a whole lot of time but i'd love to meet you guys!

PICTURE OF THE DAY


Defender Sammy Kuffour and skipper Oliver Kahn lovingly entwined after Bayern Munich's 1-0 Champions League victory against Anderlecht


Bayern 1 Anderlecht 0
Munich edge into last sixteen

10.12.2003 | Bayern claimed a place in the Champions League last sixteen on Wednesday night thanks to a first-half Roy Makaay penalty and some solid defending against Anderlecht in the second half, although Oliver Kahn had to rescue the win with a brilliant save deep into stoppage time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
kudos to roy makaay and olli kahn! the best players in the world.
long live deutscher meister FC Bayern!

it's my brother's birthday today! happy birthday, dude!

heheh yeah. meant to blog about the NYgep gathering earlier, but didn't have time to use the computer. anyhows i thought it was a success- we went to marina south for steamboat! 17 of us came, and we had a pretty fantastic time. and i'm sure huiyuan feels most loved, everyone else in our table (qing, xy, nina and I) kept making sure she was never in want when it came to food. (most notably, chicken wings). well actually the truth is that no one wanted to eat them, so we dumped them on huiyuan's plate when her attention was directed somewhere else. unfortunately, she caught on after a while and we were forced to find alternative methods of disposing of the offending chicken wings.

went to boat quay to catch the last act of the buskers' festival. this 19-year-old guy from canada was performing- his show was called The Dan Show, and it was pretty good! well we managed to get his autograph and a photo with him at the end of his performance.

we had a really good time! so many laughs... especially between me and qing! during one of the quieter moments xy said this "i don't think much has changed over the course of one year." i think she's right. everyone's still the same, and things are just as good as before. which i'm thankful for, and i hope this never changes!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

training yesterday. met vania in the national stadium gym first for land training. did the usual routine (lat pulldown, bench press etc... and of course the obligatory ab work!) and later some free weights work. total workout yeah. was really good to train as i was feeling guilty after friday's marche and sunday's steamboat. even though my appetite has decreased significantly from previously. vania was at the gym since 7+ and she was bored to tears after 2 hours. so she sat at some corner to sleep and this fitness instructor came around, asking concernedly "are you okay?" well she was quite happy over that since he was quite good-looking, apparently, and in her words "isn't it good to wake up to the sight of a nice face?" erps. grin--

water training at 11 thereafter. did a K1 for the first 6 km (only my 2nd time doing K1!). rather wobbly during the first 3 rounds but much improved after that. and i was just feeling quite proud of myself at not having capsized before, so i took my hands of the paddle to roll up my sleeves (i hate wearing rj pe tshirt!) and over i went. i think i manage to capsize in most inane, incomprehensible ways. especially when with sheryl! haha! our 3 capsizes happened in the strangest ways possible! anyway i quite like K1. when coach made me try for the first time last monday, i doubted i'd be able to get off the shore. took me a good ten minutes then, but once i got the hang of it, it was quite good.

K2 later with leqi for the other 6 km. and she's really good! really good. had to push myself quite hard especially since land training earlier had drained me quite abit. but it was great rowing with her! pity coach says that it's unlikely we will row together. oh well.

added a link to my new guestbook- you'll find it over at the top of the right margin, just beneath "archives". feel free to drop a note!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

just returned from southern islands expedition yesterday. it was, truly, an unforgettable experience, in all ways possible. and i've also discovered that my rowing strokes are improving, as my torso and not my arms ache after the 50+km over the three days. contrary to popular belief, canoeing uses the back muscles primarily, and not the arms, for propulsion.

but i'm not sure if i ever want to get into another expedition kayak. i think i'll just stick to racing for now. gosh rowing in the open sea and waterways was quite an experience! we had to navigate the waves and backwash generated by the ocean liners and the other vessels, which was pretty good as you'll never be able to do that in a racing kayak. riding the waves was great, except when you plop down the other side and the sea spray splashes into your face, mixes with your sunblock and starts stinging your eyes real bad.

let's not talk about direction though. shit i hate having to do direction. spent half my time telemarking instead of rowing proper. gawd i was pissed. and weiqi was most amused. she related our experience of rowing together to the rest later, and yeah maybe it was quite amusing. but not so funny when it was happening. haha.

and kudos to our culinary experts, gao shang and leqi! without whom we wouldn't have tasted stuff like marinated chicken wings and pineapple rice. which is admittedly damn good food for an expedition. i've also discovered that, apart from them, everyone else has either a vague inkling of how to cook rice or absolutely no idea at all.

we've also discovered our residential santa claus, ms. poon! she's got all the stuff you could ever ask for on an expedition. like barley mints and tom yam noodles(!). and she's really funny too! oh and she asked me to try weightlifting after Alevels. erps. no i don't think i will. but kickboxing, no problem!

and one more thing to add- gao shang absolutely loves communual bathing! she had a blast of a time in the sisters' island toilet! but i shan't divulge details. go ask gao shang.

aaron mailed this round, being a man U fan. now i don't actually hate liverpool or anything, but this is still quite funny. :)

Court Ruling

A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom
drama today when he challenged a court ruling over who should have
custody of the boy. The boy has a history of being beaten by his
parents and the judge awarded custody to his aunt. The boy confirmed
that his aunt beat him more than his parents and refused to live there.
When the judge suggested that he live with his
grandparents the boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone.
The judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who
should have custody of him.

Custody was yesterday granted to Liverpool Football Club as the boy
firmly believes that they are not capable of beating anyone.

was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
oh things are gonna happen naturally
and taking your advice i'm looking on the bright side
and balancing the whole thing

but often times those words get tangled up in lines
and the bright light turns to night
oh until the dawn it brings
another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
what you and i spoke of
and others just read of
others only read of
of the love that i love

see i'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
more words than i had ever heard and i feel so alive

cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could just see me now
now you and i, you and i
not so little you and i anymore
and with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could see me now
well then i'm almost finally out of
i'm finally out of
well i’m almost finally finally
well i’m free

and it's okay if you have go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
but if i never ever hear them ring
if nothing else i'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause i'll remember everything you sang

you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well i'm almost finally finally out of words



jasonmraz \\ you and i both

an jing by jay chou is a fab song. i got hooked after listening to it countless times at jamin's house during pw last sunday. it's all mx's fault, but i can't really blame her or anything. it's got beautiful lyrics, and for me to say that is really something because i'm not a chinese music person and my chinese is in the dumps.

was reading qing's blog, and i realised that i do understand exactly how she's feeling about all the shit that's going on. sometimes life does seem like the pits- when you try so hard yet you never manage to find what you've set out to achieve. shan't dwell on that bit though, it's most depressing.

sadness is beautiful
loneliness that's tragical
so heal me I can't win this war, oh no
touch me now don't bother
if every second it makes me weaker
you can save me from the man i've become

caught the first half of the england vs. wales rugby match. and i think jonny wilkinson's pretty darned good yeah. shall keep my eyes peeled for the rest of the matches coming up.

dinner with mr. R and the rest of 1a13a at marche's tmr. kind of looking forward to it- but sheesh i'm gonna be dead broke by the end of the week. hope tomorrow'll be good yep.

i really don't see the point of having chinese lessons in jc. well at least there could be something remotely resembling a syllabus that would make it so much easier to study for. and shou3 ce4s! i'm lost without them. the rj blue book doesn't exactly help anyway. i quit mugging from it after about a third of the book, and i'm not exactly sure that that third proved particularly useful.

on a lighter note, chinese wasn't that bad after all. hopefully i'll make an A and not get another B3 ha.

national stadium gym for own training yesterday. i think i'm becoming a gym rat, slowly but surely. and a health nut. well weicong came along slightly later, and got bored really quickly. somehow i don't think he'll be returning anytime soon. maybe we should go kayaking instead, but to me that's even more boring. oh well.

>>contempt is a hundredth of a second------

okay how scary is this. some ass stole three pictures from our canoeing board just yesterday- the ones we just put up like last wed before openhouse. we didn't stick them on or anything, just kind of slotted them on the board and found out that they were missing before training yesterday.

we figured out two of the missing ones- the one with me doing pullups at kallang sdba and the other one with leqi piggybacking weiqi.. but somehow or other we just couldn't figure out what was supposed to be the last photo. you know how it is when you're just unable to recall something but if it were there you'd know that it was the one you meant all along? ah shit im not making sense but still. so after traversing repeatedly to the damned board and listing all the possible events in which we could have taken photos (see we have a sadly limited range of photos, the bulk made up of candid camp shots or guys taupok-ing, etc.) it came to me suddenly!

yeah anyway it's the photo that carol (i think) took of gao shang and i when we were on the bus to pasir ris for 2star course. the one where she's like trying to funnel glucolin into her bottle and i'm just grinning like anything next to her. i think i look particularly awful in that shot. they could've stolen something else instead, or waited till we put up some nicer ones.

okay so now its really quite strange. what would anyone want with our photos? and why those particular ones, leaving the rest untouched? i am particularly freaked because i feature prominently in two of the three pictures. wah damn scary. maybe someone just really hates canoeists with a vengeance, or maybe someone hates leqi, weiqi and i to the core (what's not to like??? gawd.) well the other possibility is that maybe someone really really loves us. i prefer entertaining the thought of that.

anyway heard that some of the canoeists' lockers have been broken into. is that like coincidence or something? well the funniest thing about it is that vania's jealous that her photos on the board weren't stolen, and neither was her locker broken into. she says she feels unloved. and especially since there're like pictures of her aplenty on the board and apparently they're all still there. sheesh, vania.

oh well.

next year's birthday present i'd like a size S thank you very much.

so you think you're happy just moving around in the crowd

exams finally ended today! wonder how i'm going to do for them. it doesn't really matter as long as i get s papers. just came back from towning with gaya. got a haircut. damn short the stylist lopped off too much of the sides. shucks. and bought craig david's second "slicker than your average" yeah. still haven't looked at it yet. im a craig david enthusiast after having heard spanish.

i think you're searching for something new

decided to change my blogging font from verdana to arial after i kinda got tired of too much verdana. i really think orchard is getting darned boring, and so is the suntec-cityhall area. maybe i should start visiting all the neighbourhood shopping malls yeah.

cuz when the music's playing it gets to me and i know it gets you too

wanted to visit voshstudio (the cool movie memorabilia store) at suntec but didn't have time. oh well maybe next time. went to peninsula though checked with the storeowner but they didn't have anymore germany jerseys. sheesh. maybe i'll get the ljungberg one when i have some money perhaps.

just close your eyes and i'll set you free here's what you gotta do

projectwork's due tomorrow i hope everything's done. still can't really get reacquainted with the fact that i no longer have to mug my ass off. it's a pretty strange feeling. but cl ao exam is coming up so i'll have to start mugging soon. pretty much looking forward to this week- what with open house preparations and open house itself. oh yeah abit of advertising yep--

dreamweaver
RJC Open House 2003
23rd Oct
10am-5pm

there. done my bit. will be going down for filming at kallang on wednesday with the rest of the canoeists. hope it'll be good yeah. can't hardly wait to get into a k2.

now slide over here just give me a chance baby slide over here

can't wait to kick some ball either! football i meant.

well i'm bent on loving bent on loving it feels like i can't let it go
when you're inside outside outside in it feels like i'm losing control


donrichmond \\ b e n t

how the hell did we wind up like this
why weren't we able
to see the signs that we missed
and try to turn the tables

i wish you'd unclench your fists
and unpack your suitcase
lately there's been too much of this
don't think it's too late

nothing's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday i will

someday, somehow
gonna make it alright but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
someday, somehow
gonna make it alright but not right now
i know you're wondering when

well i hoped that since we're here anyway
we could end up saying
things we've always needed to say
so we could end up stringing

now the story's played out like this
just like a paperback novel
let's rewrite an ending that fits
instead of a hollywood horror

nothing's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday i will

someday, somehow
gonna make it alright but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
someday, somehow
gonna make it alright but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that

how the hell did we wind up like this
why weren't we able
to see the signs that we missed
and try to turn the tables

now the story's played out like this
just like a paperback novel
let's rewrite an ending that fits
instead of a hollywood horror

nothing's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday i will

someday, somehow
gonna make it alright but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
someday, somehow
gonna make it alright but not right now
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
i know you're wondering when
you're the only one who knows that
i know you're wondering when

nickelback \\ someday

she got out of town
on a railway new york bound
took all except my name
another alien on broadway

there's some things in this world
you just can't change
some things you can't see
until it gets too late

baby baby baby
when all your love is gone
who will save me
from all i'm up against out in this world
maybe maybe maybe
you'll find something
that's enough to please you
but if the bright lights don't receive you
you can turn yourself around
and come on home

i got a hole in me now
i got a scar i can talk about
she keeps a picture of me
in her apartment in the city
some things in this world
they don't make sense
some things you don't need
until they leave you
and they're things that you miss

let that city take you in
let that city spit you out
let that city take you down
for god's sake turn around

\\matchbox twenty bright lights

in com lab one typing aimlessly. so decided to blog haha. it's quan's birthday today! and nine of us got her the black daytripper 25l mambo bag which she had expressed liking for. its damn nice and she likes it alot so that's really good haha :]

project work now and our group doesn't have soft copy so we can't work on it. which explains my blogging yeah. yesterday's ponning stint at home was particularly fruitful. i managed to finish geomo one, couple of donne poems and some trigo. not bad. but i always regret that i don't start earlier which sucks when i actually realise it. anyway gotta mug and then can play from oct 21st onwards so thats not too bad.

but i doubt i can get my s paper(s)? oh shit. nevermind.

spent a bomb on ear cartilage piercing. i guess that's why it was so surprisingly painless. anyway yeah and i'm living testimony to the fact that you probably wont go blind and all the hit-a-nerve-and-go-blind stories are a whole load of bullshit anyway. yep.

man i can't wait for the exams to be over. i have this entire list of things to do and buy and so on. ohh yeah one of the first things is to stay over at someone's house where there's scv and catch the bayern munich champs league matches live. yeahhh after two matches they're top of group A man. that's the way.

GO BAYERN MUNICH.

and then i'll go get my roy makaay bayern munich jersey, and my fredrik ljungberg arsenal jersey with gaya who's gonna get the thierry henry one. shit i'll be broke. life without exams would be absolutely fabulous! and maybe life with lots of money too!

well then. suffering from withdrawal symptoms of no football. sigh sometimes i wish i had more time then i'd accept the offer to train with ite bishan. but it clashes with canoeing so that kinda sucks. oh wellus.

will blog sometime again!

till then-

--------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless lost under the surface
don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
every step i take is another mistake to you
caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i've become so tired so much more aware
i'm becoming this all i want to do
is be more like me and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought i would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
every step that i take is another mistake to you
caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
and every second i waste is more than i can take

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i've become so tired so much more aware
i'm becoming this all i want to do
is be more like me and be less like you

and i know
i may end up failing too
but i know
you were just like me with someone disappointed in you

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i've become so tired so much more aware
i'm becoming this all i want to do
is be more like me and be less like you

i've become so numb i can't feel you there
i've become so tired so much more aware
i'm becoming this all i want to do
is everything what you want me to be

linkin park numb
--------------------------------------------------------------------

been awhile since i blogged! haha pe today was damn fun. tabletennis. played with quan and it was freaking funny hahaha. later doubles with mx and gaoshang which was even more hilarious. i think pe is simply glorious but unfortunately not many other people share my sentiments. :(

ran canal route with weiqi yesterday during one hour break. maaaann it was damn hot but we still managed to complete it in roughly half an hour which was pretty good. since im not ponning tmr i think i'll be doing weights with them again. the weights room is dominated by ruggers and canoeists. hope we don't see that chao rugger with the damn kao beh face. heard he's j3. screw him man.

mugged with canoeist guys yesterday. haha and they all drifted off after a while to play soccer. was supposed to play but had lots to mug for geog test. philip's new adidas futsal ball is damn chio yep. red+black fevernova. pretty cool.

oh yeah jus recalled what mr. reeves said on tuesday which i thought was quite funny.
"Business ethics is a contradiction. Just like military intelligence."
i'm an army loyalist so shan't comment on that. but still thought it was quite funny.

mugging mugging mugging. bad for health man its damn stressful. phy geog totally sucks la dammit. and my maths is in a shambles. its awful.

man fredrik ljungberg is damn hot larh. and i don't think he's too big in the wrong places anyway. hmmm what do you think gaya? and mx? hahahaa!

Subject: Msesed Up Ltteres.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit any porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
a hundred days had made me older
since the last time that i saw your pretty face
a thousand lights had made me colder
and i don’t think i can look at this the same

but all the miles had separate
they disappear now when i’m dreaming of your face

i’m here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time

i’m here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight it’s only you and me

the miles just keep rolling
as the people either way to say hello
i hear this life is overrated
but i hope it gets better as we go

i’m here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time

i’m here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight girl it’s only you and me

everything I know and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
and when the last one falls when it’s all said and done
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love

i’m here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time

i’m here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight girl it’s only you and me


three doors down here without you
-----------------------------------------------------------------

for the nygep sec4s... the ones i hang out with...
here's perhaps the most overused pic of all time.

but i love it.



if you're game here's another one.

hey all... who wants to watch S.W.A.T. which opens this thurs 28th aug with me? man it's a police action flick it shouldn't be bad either considering it stars colin farrell! what's not to like... heheh ;) one hell of a sexy ass bloke yeahhh.

all the good guys appearing on the silver screen right about now. there's the italian job which features mark wahlberg coming to theatres in sept... man thats a movie im definitely gonna catch. oh and yeahhh xy you know what you owe me. ;) i couldn't have said it better myself.

screwed doing draft zero for pw. i think pw sucks big time man i don't see the rationale behind it. and we've got more stuff to do now that liong's gone! aargh thank god for jiahong man we need someone with that kind of brains yeah.

going to town with jo and gaya tomorrow. haha jo's gonna get a haircut! yeah man we need a change. ponytails are oooooouuuuuutttt! man. hahaha. wonder what kinda hairstyle she's gonna get. i recommend spikes. then again would i ever recommend anything else? heheh. jo says if it turns out disastrous she's gonna make gaya cut hers too. which evoked a particularly vehement response from gaya haha.

----------------------------------------------

oceans apart day after day
and i slowly go insane
i hear your voice on the line
but it doesn't stop the pain

if i see you next to never
how can we say forever

wherever you go
whatever you do
i will be right here waiting for you
whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
i will be right here waiting for you

i took for granted all the times
that i thought would last somehow
i hear the laughter i taste the tears
but i can't get near you now

oh can't you see it baby
you've got me going crazy

wherever you go
whatever you do
i will be right here waiting for you
whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
i will be right here waiting for you

i wonder how we can survive
this romance
but in the end if i'm with you
i'll take the chance

wherever you go
whatever you do
i will be right here waiting for you
whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
i will be right here waiting for you

richard marx right here waiting

----------------------------------------------

i've got a new tagboard! so blow me... ;)

roy makaay! i used to hate him because he scored a hat-trick against olli kahn... while in deportivo la coruna in champs league last yr. haha but i was appreciative of his excellent striking abilities man. and now he's turning out for fc bayern... go no.10 makaay!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh yay finally i know how to put graphics on the page! o joy! xinying you rock!

aiyoh both my air hockey kakis not in school today. so it was quite dismal. hahaha... today was an okay day. at first i was kinda dreading the friday timetable because of the 1hr40min gp lesson and evans! but it turned out to be some colorectal surgeon giving some talk instead so it was fine. man there was PORN on his powerpoint slides! the entire lt was taken aback! the pics of surgery were fine though. guess it jus made me rethink whether my decision to stay in arts was the right one. i mean... it was always a childhood ambition of mine to be a doctor. all the way till this year when i was faced with the arts-science dilemma. sometimes i do have regrets. ya, sam, jus like you. i wonder if i've made the right choice. but i guess i should jus make the most of what i have now, which is pretty good.

the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. michael was so kind as to lend me his translations book. if not i'd have to suffer the irish brogue and wrath of mcconnell haha. i said much more than i normally would in mrs toh's lesson. as usual the class was being rather unparticipative and i kinda felt bad so i answered some of her questions heheh. i think she's quite nice really. pw observation during pw period! man the most polite and by far the most fruitful discussion we've ever had! not bad la.

played soccer with gaya after school! called it self-training. then later renji and amos and loads of other guys came along so we played with them too. hahaha hope the soccer ball's safe with renji heheh.

but there's still one thing irking me. its been at the back of my mind ever since it started. man if you ever read this i jus wanna let you know that it was all a stupid misunderstanding and that im sorry really. i mean, it's our faults, not one more than the other. ya. im not blaming you or anything really... please dont take this the wrong way. i want things to go back to the way they were before all this shit started. i really don't want to lose a friend. please please i hope this becomes fine it's really bothering me and i can't do a thing about it.

ya jus in case you read this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
since the moment i spotted you
like walking round with little wings on my shoes
my stomach's filled with the butterflies and it's alright
bouncing round from cloud to cloud
i got the feeling like i'm never going to come down
if i said i didn't like it then you know i'd lied

every time i try to talk to you
i get tongue-tied
seems like everything i say to you
comes out wrong and never comes out right

so i'll say why don't you and i get together
and take on the world and be together forever
heads we will and tails we'll try again
so i say why don't you and i hold each other
and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven
'cause without you they're never going to let me in
and slowly i begin to realize this is never going to end
right about the same you walk by
and i say oh here we go again

when's this ever going to break
i think i've handled more than any man can take
i'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around and it's alright
bouncing round from cloud to cloud
i got the feeling like i'm never going to come down
if i said didn't like it then you know i'd lied

santana ft. alex band why don't you and i
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

this goes out to her.

you know that you don't have to leave
saying why didn't i go home with you tonight

hmm abit of a guestbook problem. i've reverted back to enetation after realizing that you have to pay 99cents for the stupid signmyguestbook.com thing heheh. hey it's not about the money it's about the trouble haha. anyway enetation's currently down so keep your comments to yourself. there.

2star course yesterday, and i am totally convinced that:
1. in 1star, you learn how not to capsize, but;
2. in 2star all the way to 5star, you find new ways to capsize.

we used dancers (again!) that merrily twirled us offcourse each time we tried to do proper strokes. it was quite boring. but fun as well. first time i've been to pasir ris sea sports club... wow the sea's damn clean la. no danger of stepping on carcasses when you're launching your boats heheh. quite cool as only the girls' team had their course there. and yeah we jus had to visit the mega playground during lunch break! heheh.

went to marche's for dinner with sheil lise mz weilin micht her friend ru da huiyuan and of course sam! not all my usual clique but it was not bad la. as usual we waited for ages to go in (talk about being fashionably LATE heheh), met at 7 and went in at 8 ha. wooaahhh the food was damn good heh. but we spent alot of time queueing. at least it aids the digestion yeah. huiyuan and i had all these wonderful ideas about what to eat but in the end we didn't eat all that much after all. not bad.

ha so nice of me! ooh i've finally added links! maybe not so computer-illiterate after all. but i don't know how to upload pics. wtf.

oh yeah and sign my guestbook yup. thanks :] i even have a new one!

man had first soccer training in like, years yesterday. gaya joined! man im damn happy haha. we had lots of fun ya. and this goes out to abs- KC was there yep. we played with him too. man he's damn cute la agreed. and real nice too. so why don't you join soccer too? ;)

walked out of school with gaya to catch a cab to fort canning green. was jus telling her how i absolutely abhor it when some asshole suddenly turns up a little distance down the road and snatches the first cab that comes along. well anyway then some asshole turned up a little distance down the road and snatched the first cab that came along. ya so we were hopping mad but at least we managed to get a cab jus after.

arrived at fort canning found the rest on mats spread out along the side. watched the first ballet. gosh it was boring! i guess ballet isn't really my kind of thing, no matter what the rest of you say. ha. so aaron and i decided to accompany andrew to buy water. and instead of merely buying water, we ended up roaming ps and pilfering free water from the dispenser outside cafe cartel. aaron had this great idea that air hockey would be decidedly more entertaining than a ballet, so we headed to the arcade for a game or two. ended up playing eight games. oh gawd. the darned pucks flew everywhere. one slid most conveniently beneath the table and i had to wiggle spreadeagled under the table. since aaron and andrew couldn't fit. shit it was damn dusty la. laughed till our sides ached. most of the goals were darned own goals haha. andrew ended up with a sore wrist from the puck smacking into it most of the time. so he can't do his gp essay HA.

we returned to the ballet after a very fulfilling hour. shit la paid $5.20 for bag deposit. we were in time for the last performance though, which andrew paid rapt attention to. i didn't though. ballet really isn't my kind of thing. aaron and i were contemplating going off to starbucks but we didn't in the end. well at least it was a good class gathering and a nice way to say bye to liong. yeah.

i have two-star course this morning. hope all goes well. i need my tan! the canoeists are all losing their tans (with the exception of carol, haha). sheesh okay.

ah shit whatever am i doing up at this unholy hour blogging. heheh. a phygeog test tomorrow and i'm positive that i'm gonna flunk it. jus don't seem to be able to absorb any geomo stuff. wasn't like that for hydro... i jus don't get it. wtf.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
when we take our clothes off
don't you know the world stops
when we touch when we kiss
when we shut up for a moment turn out the light
we are reminded by the one thing forget how to fight
you and me or nothing cuz we got tonight
when we touch when we kiss
when we shut up
it just had to be you

nick lachey shut up
-----------------------------------------------------------------

dammit i'm currently addicted to this song. the chorus and pre-chorus are damn nice la. some other songs that i can't get out of my mind now:

craig david spanish
dreamz fm should i stay
don richmond bent ( i can't download this anywhere! dammit!)
jason mraz the remedy
santana & alex band why don't you and i

had a drive driven by your love
but when you messed around i lost the drive i found
thought you needed needed someone true
but you changed your mind or had i failed you

wished you've been careful with my heart
but you tore it apart and broke an angel's heart
i guess what's true has an end somehow
but i am living proof of what love is about

it's hard holding you loving you losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know i gotta go wanna know
should i stay or should i go

you played me on played me like a clown
but i feel for you even though i'm down
my heart is heavy heavy like a rock
but i am so amused you're still in my thoughts

what's done is done and i'll never feel the same
but we had some good times guess it's sad just the same
i guess the truth doesn't matter somehow
but you were living proof of what love is about

dreamz fm should i stay

screw project work man!
and balls i still don't have the guts! but i guess i was rather sad when i heard what she said yesterday. well i guess there's hope if it's "for now"... heh hopefully. shit i've fallen, and hard.

wah shit if i dont do pw now mengxin's gonna screw me upside down tomorrow. blog sometime later haha :)

nationals on for the past three days. as usual, nj swept both the guys and girls titles with 60++ points. nah no surprise. but it was pretty good, enjoying the sun sea and sand for those couple of days. had scf today. rowed t2 500m with carol. she had to replace mag for t1 500m at the last minute and i was damn worried that she'd be too tired to row well for t2 later. but gawd was it good. first for heats and straight to finals tomorrow. man i love the fcuk NJ boat. haha. as usual i was shouting like hell while rowing like when we did dragonboat earlier. i dunno i jus have to shout it kinda helps me row faster too. that's why i like 2-crew boats so i have someone to shout at because it gets pretty stupid shouting at yourself haha.

anyway i was damn pleased with t2 today we managed to shoot forward and grab a commanding lead in the beginning so we could afford to slack a little at the end. haha. towards the finishing line i was suggesting that maybe we could jus "glide through" and stop paddling. heheh. damn good hope finals are even better tomorrow. think im gonna take some creatine before the race.

not bad we did better than expected. both the girls' team's t1s and k1s are into finals, besides me and carol's t2. but the guys didn't do too well. heads up man at least you guys tried your best. we are gonna take the guys and girls titles for nationals next year man.

tomorrow's the open events as well. hope the j2s do well. especially lay may and huilin who came down to support us today! you go man! yeah!

gryphon canoeists go, row, get the flow.

hey in the media centre now ha. kinda stoned i really should be at chinese now but i got aaahhnnndrew to tell laoshi that i was off to canoeing. hope i don't bump into her later yeah. hopefully gonna donate blood later. i don't think it hurts, really. everyone keeps taking second looks at me because of my hair. well anyway i hope thats good. haha how nice of abs to say that i look "DAMN good!!!" im so flattered man thanks lots! ;) as long as KC looks good hah. yeah anyway.

i think i kinda blew my chance. shit she was in the library jus now but i didn't do anything about that! it was like a golden opportunity and as usual i passed it by. ha. shit where are my fucking guts i hate this it's like i wanna go up to her and say something but i'm jus too afraid. shoot. how??

anyway yeah wonderful sharon's gonna teach me how to change templates. im sucha friggin loser i don't even know how to use a template from somewhere else. in a rather self-depreciating mood today oh well. yay sharon taught me how to change template. she rocks man.

ah well.
it's been quite confusing. what should i do now? all this is fucking getting to me... awww this sucks. i don't know whether it'll work out man. i want it to!

desperate for changing
starving for truth
closer where i started
chasing after you

i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

forgetting all i'm lacking
completely incomplete
i'll take your invitation
you take all of me

i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

i'm living for the only thing i know
i'm running and not quite sure where to go
i don't know what i'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you

hanging by a moment l i f e h o u s e

hey haven't blogged for a long time. jus finished common tests today- geog as the last paper. hope i manage to pass at least two subjects! shit if not i'll be suspended from canoeing. but i think passing two shouldn't be a problem. at least, i think.

went to town after last paper today with lingli guan and cheryl. spent most of our time slacking in far east after a heated debate over whether to watch finding nemo or charlie's angels. in the end we didn't watch either, but jus as well since i've already watched nemo twice and have no vested interest in the angels.

saw lots of people- an entire barrage of cjcians and later a multitude of other-jc-people. lots of njcians too heh. splurged 42bucks on a nike no bounds dri-fit shirt. shit damn spendthrift i tell you. oh well. ya thats all for now i guess.

aahh trace you owe me something now man ;)

hey wow i found the nj 35th sc website haha. it's accessible from the nj webpage and it's got summer nights dance instructions! now if only they'd put up instructions for this year's mass dance as well... yeah and ahem haha a certain 5th house rep hailing from solaris has managed to get himself prominently displayed on the front of the nj Integrated Programme design sheet... hmmm. ;)