went down to bishan gym yesterday, supposed to meet lyd and vania there. but as it happened, vania had to visit relatives and lyd overslept so i ended up going alone. bought the gym ticket, left my bag inside and went out for a run. lately i've been in the habit of going for runs to nowhere. i like the very idea of doing that- it takes my mind off the distance and time and there're always new things to see. so i decided to try the canal route directly adjacent to the gym. it opened up to braddell road after about 2km and i turned back into the bishan estate because i was too lazy to cross the overhead bridge which i'd need to do if i wanted to continue with the canal route haha. ran through bishan, taking all the meandering small routes and finally emerged opposite RI. remembered that the juniors were having land training so i continued towards RJC and true enough, i heard them before i saw them. jiao lian, ever ingenious, made them use the bicycle stand as a makeshift i-pull bar and had the girls cranking out inclined chin-ups there. it was good being able to talk to yong hui and jiao lian. apparently RJ girls' team this year have a greater chance than we've ever had and i'm really glad of that fact. jiao lian told me some things that left a pretty great impression on me. i'd love to go back to paddle but right now i'm just not good enough and i doubt i'd ever be again. what wouldn't i give to return to the way i felt during SDBA 2004. invincible. like the k2 and paddle were just natural extensions of myself. leaving everyone in our wake during races. not having to eat someone else's wash. the satisfaction of winning. it all seemed so natural then, i'd love to have that feeling again.

but damn i don't even have any time to train now so everything's just wishful thinking. sometimes i think maybe i've lost the passion for paddling but it's amazing how the fire can be stoked so easily that i think maybe, just maybe, there's a flame left. and i hope i'll be able to carry on where i left off.


you were everything
everything that i wanted
we were meant to be
supposed to be
but we lost it
all of the memories so close to me
just faded away
all this time you were pretending
so much for my happy ending