today is second byline day! "Novena Square: Still not in the pink of health". -yawn- encountered some nasty figures when we went about novena to get stuff for our article. everyone, please boycott the bubble tea store there. the uncle is one Nasty Nut.

my hair is intensely disgusting. i really ought to get something done about it soon. dropped by rjc bishan today following the Big Move! man the campus is enormous. mag and i found ourselves standing in the middle of the concourse wondering where all the space came from. it's really quite nice, and i gleefully spied the yong tau foo stall so maybe i'll go over for lunch one day.

anyway there was a sinfully rich chocolate cake from cedele bakery depot at the cage today, and i'm quite sure i'm slowly expanding as i type this. what decadence! there's always so much good stuff at the cage! it's crazy. i think i'm going to triple in size, which is really not what i'd intended to happen.

my legs are just going to drop off oh dear 10km everyday is really quite a startlingly new experience. First 3km round is very nice. 2nd one is entirely loathsome, especially the stupid gravel tracks. then i always have horrendous stitches so i'll stop to touch my toes. then i'll hear someone pounding up the boardwalk furiously behind me so i will then hurriedly scamper on in apparent agony because it really isn't good to be caught slacking. 3rd round i'm like resigned to my fate so i'll just potter on with a fake plastered grin on my face and wait for cheryl to overtake me (which seems to always be the case).

anyway in total i run like forty plus km a week so im quite happy with that. especially since i havent been running for all of five months and so my current condition could have been worse. at least it isn't That bad, heh heh.

you should let me love you
let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
baby good love and protection
make me your selection
show you the way love's supposed to be
baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

let me love you mario

OKAY EVERYONE PLEASE READ THE NEW PAPER TOMORROW (WED 22 DEC 2004) BECAUSE MY FIRST ARTICLE IS GOING TO BE PUBLISHED.

I THINK THE TITLE IS "BIKE TROUBLE IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD".
OEI STOP YAWNING LA IT'S REALLY QUITE INTERESTING CAN. AND I HAD TO KEEP REWORKING IT SO THAT IT WASN'T TOO ERUDITE HAHAHAHAHA.

AFTER THAT YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT A MARVELOUS PIECE OF BULLSHIT IT WAS.
IF YOU REALLY DON'T LIKE IT PLEASE EMAIL ME AT fengyi@sph.com.sg
IF YOU REALLY LIKE IT PLEASE EMAIL ME AS WELL.

SORRY GAO SHANG COULDN'T DRAW ANY INSPIRATION FROM YOUR MARVELOUS ASSETS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN OF USE IN MY STORY. NEXT TIME MAYBE.

yep uploaded some photos finally. not my entire collection cos i got fed up after trying both dotphoto and imagestation to no avail so i just posted them on my blog. click to enlarge yeah. (which is what gs will do to the pictures of herself in the hope that it will inflate her assets). anyway there's an assortment- mainly from farewell (mt.sinai & batch of '04) and gradnight. if you wanna catch me in a dress here's your chance so grab it with both hands and scroll down.

till the next time!

sending huilin (our hero) off to philippines for canoe c'ships.  

it's just a love-hate relationship here. but whatever it is, pal, i'll always be here so remember that.  

darling quan, me and gaya :) 

me quan jo mx and gayathrie pootie. 

my favorite hangout. yours too? 

these are the girl canoers.  

porn-star-turned-maniac 

sis' bday party and im so in love with lil orange girl she's just damn cute la.  

me sharon chiam alvintan 

prom king & queen (both well-deserved) 

raffles canoeing batch of '04. 

i smashed my nokia last night by throwing it onto the floor cos the buttons wouldn't work and in the process the lcd screen screwed up so im back to using my lagging ericsson. shit. its time to buy new phone anyway. but i cant decide between splurging on the nokia 7270 (utterly desirable i say) and waiting for it to debut in the singapore market or go the cheaper and more immediate route and get the panasonic x400 (functional, quite chio la, has a camera, ought to be good enough) which i can get at a low rate right now. or even the siemens sl65 (comes with free mp3 player hahahaha im a sucker for freebies) but i dont like the sliding mechanism im quite sure ill spoil it in no time at all.






ok maybe i cant wait anymore so ill just get the panasonic one and go buy stereo headphones with the money i coulda have spent on buying the pretty 7270.

anyway yesterday i walked the cityhall/ esplanade/ merlion/ fullerton/ rafflesplace/ boatquay/ clarkequay place a total of two times so that makes it three times this week i've walked there haha getting damn sian of the place already oh well. but not bad la i talked to three different people about very different things during the walks so that was quite cool.

the song that i recommend now is by ciara and missy elliot- 1,2 step. the music vid is pretty nice can check it out at yahoo.com. missy looks like an overstuffed teddy bear in the vid but ciara more than makes up for it man shes damn hot la come here now ciara i want you.

yep will be going off now blog sometime else argh back to work tmr and court case in the morning (not mine).

this thing right here
is lettin all the ladies know
what guys talk about
you know
the finer things in life
hahaha
check it out

ooh that dress so scandalous
and ya know another nigga couldn't handle it
see ya shakin that thang like who's da ish
with a look in ya eye so devilish

uh
ya like to dance at all the hip hop spots
and ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots
not just urban she likes the pop
cuz she was livin la vida loca

she had dumps like a truck truck truck
thighs like what what what
baby move your butt butt butt
uh
i think to sing it again
she had dumps like a truck truck truck
thighs like what what what
all night long
let me see that thong

i like it when the beat goes da na da na
baby make your booty go da na da na
girl i know you wanna show da na da na
that thong th thong thong thong
i like it when the beat goes da na da na
baby make your booty go da na da na
girl i know you wanna show da na da na
that thong th thong thong thong

that girl so scandalous
and i know another nigga couldn't handle it
and she shakin that thang like who's da ish
with a look in her eye so devilish

uh
she like to dance at all the hip hop spots
and she cruise to the crews like connect da dots
not just urban she likes the pop
cuz she was livin la vida loca

sisqo \the thong song

SAT II tmr and i haven't touched literature yet! and i do hope i don't screw up my essay for the Writing test. math Ic is freaking easy though so that's a relief. ugh. this is going to be one hell of a hectic weekend- SATs tmr, last-minute shopping for stupid grad night things, SAF OMS tea session on sunday and thereafter the dreaded(?) prom itself. okay maybe it isn't all that dreaded, just that i'll make it known here that i don't really fancy wearing dresses all that much but i shall do so just this once. man! aiyah should have done what gs said and crashed in my rubbish punk tank top and berms. anyway on monday i've got to hurry down for the Navy seminar so i won't even be able to enjoy the damned hotel. why does this always happen to me? College Day after post-nationals at Oriental and now this. oh this sucks.

my sister had her birthday party yesterday and I must admit that i had a Smashing Time with Ten Little Girls! especially the cute one in orange *grin. but i suppose you already know that Little Girls aren't exactly my type, though i know some people do fancy them quite a bit. You know who you are haha.

i've started kickboxing lessons. fantastic because martial arts are something i've always wanted to do- from wanting to take up taekwondo in p1 and getting a flat refusal from my mother until now when she can't say anything! ha. and it's not just those lame aerobic cardio kickboxing classes, it's muay thai kickboxing! man. it's a blast. although i had to use the putrid-smelling boxing gloves from the rack because i don't have my own yet. but yeah it's still awesome and i relish the adrenalin rush. it's better than... sex? ugh let's not go there. anyway yeah it's great and i'm gonna keep at it- it's just like canoeing, it kind of consumes you.

to my sms buddy: lets go watch pierce brosnan in after the sunset and im keeping my eyes peeled for suitable people for you! anyway im really not that horny larh believe me can. ah nevermind.

the As are finally over! but there's still SAT II, tons and tons of US uni apps to be completed... okay so now i'm like whatever la.

those of you who are about to say something vaguely damning about the Template,
SHUT UP.
hahaha. but i do hope i'm not being too morally objectionable. anyhows.

anyway, As are almost over (it's been a long time!) and so i feel damn free now until it's time to write the stupid berkeley and illinois essays. so actually i only have about 2 more hours of feeling relatively unfettered. oh and i don't know how to put in tagboard in this blog template so i've reverted back to the comments thing at the bottom of every post. and those of you who want to build big blazing bonfire to send those awful pediplanation/ monetary transmission mechanism/ 3d trigo (o horror of Horrors!) notes up in tongues of flame, Count me In. and we can all do Evans'/Prendy's Capital Jig(gles) while we watch ms law's hydrology notes sizzle in the fiery depths of Hell.

how to study for Econs S? I am going to spot 3 topics: (1) Alternative Theories of the Firm (2) Labour Market, and (3) Profit Maximisation, and read "Free to Choose" by Milton Friedman. (Un)curiously enough, "Free to Choose" has been the only credible Economics text i have laid my grimy paws on in the course of this year, besides weekly forays into "The Economist". Surely, Mr. Sowden will have a lot to say on the transparent paucity of my reading material (besides the fact that he doesn't seem to care one bit for Messrs. Friedman) but, in the words of Paul Pennyfeather, "God damn and blast them all to hell."

anyway, melissa, i'm very poor leh how. How? i Don't Know La.
---[So anyway **** you like me a not if you like me you must prove it and the way to do it is.. $$$$$$$ ( thanks )]
help me! Then i let my sister become Best Friends with you.


freaking old boybandish song but i just heard it and yeah...

baby i don't understand
just why we can't be lovers
things are gettin' out of hand
tryin' too much but baby we can't win

let it go
if you want me girl let me know
i am down on my knees
i can't take it anymore

it's tearing up my heart when i'm with you
but when we are apart i feel it too
and no matter what i do i feel the pain
with or without you

baby don't misunderstand
what i'm tryin' to tell ya
in the corner of my mind
baby it feels like we're running out of time

let it go
if you want me girl let me know
i am down on my knees
i can't take it anymore

this song really gets to me.

do y'know?
i wish you'd see that.

--- cause it's all in my head
i think about it over and over again
and i can’t keep picturing you with him
and it hurts so bad yeah
cause it’s on in my head
i think about it over and over again
i replay it over and over again
and i can’t take it yeah i can’t shake it
no

i can’t wait to see you
want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
that one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
and it’s a shame that we got to spend our time
being mad about the same things
over and over again
about the same things
over and over again

ohh
but i think she’s leaving
ooh man she’s leaving
i don’t know what else to do
i can’t go on not loving you

cause it's all in my head
i think about it over and over again
and i can’t keep picturing you with him
and it hurts so bad yeah
cause it’s on in my head
i think about it over and over again
i replay it over and over again
and i can’t take it yeah i can’t shake it
no

i remember the day you left
i remember the last breath you took right in front of me
when you said that you would leave
i was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
but i see clearly now and this choice i made keeps playing in my head
over and over again
playing my head
over and over again ---

over and over again nelly ft. tim mcgraw

i was on cable tv on friday evening! hahaha.

i think this is going to be one of the longest personal entries in a while. so treasure it till the next one. haha haven't blogged in so so so so long so i'll take a brief respite from the dreariness of agricultural geog and integration to type a little about my life.

friday was a curious experience! pretty cool one though. after the blah gp paper in the morning (As have started! ack.) i went to the ESPN starsports headquarters in lorong chuan to film an episode of football crazy with the bayern munich fan club. got adeline along HAHAHA and she said i never let on that it was a live tv filming session (apparently this is what i told her: adeline: ok, so it all began with my darling feng. she told me that there was an "exhibition" at espn hq in conjunction with the bayern munich fan club, and "jamie reeves was going to be there" and she asked me if i wanted to go. and since the hq's just 5 min walk from my house (tres cool eh!) i just decided to go.) well i can't partly remember whether i told her it was a studio session, but i vaguely remember being rather prone to circumlocution when she pressed me earlier on what it was for.

yes so anyway we headed to the ESPN hq where we had to sign some funny waiver so that our "names, appearances and likenesses" could be used for regional broadcasts on the channel. Imagine! my likeness on every television screen! hahaha. there was this lady called sharkey (what a name!) who briefed us on what to anticipate and we had to rehearse all the banter and questions and answers pre-show, which i thought was pretty contrived. But still. Anyway i was supposed to respond to a pre-sent SMS that went something along the lines of: "i think the reason why oliver kahn is such a good goalkeeper is because he looks so scary. With his scary face, strikers don't even dare to score!" well. when i first heard the statement i kinda thought the sender was of decidedly limited mental acuity, but yeah since oliver kahn is one of my favorite topics, i came up with a stupid two-liner about how his form had indeed deteriorated after WC2002 but i'd no doubt that he'd be back to his bulldog best in time to come. And adeline was supposed to add that she thought he looked scary anyway. there was still time before we went on air so we busied ourselves with free drinks from the dispensing machines and playing a rather unexciting game of table soccer (may i add, with a wadded-up kitchen towel procured from the pantry since there wasn't no ball in sight) which ended in a 1-1 draw courtesy of a last gasp goal from me.

then it was time to hit the airwaves of the region! i'd originally intended to hide at the back but sharkey made me sit in front (which wasn't that bad in itself, just that everytime the camera panned into view of the two hosts i appeared in full glory on the television screen since i was sitting next to them). there were 2 guests besides the hosts andy and collette, this aussie hunk called PJ roberts (man he's damn hot la. serious.) and our very own homegrown sheikh haikel, whom adeline later admitted she'd been dying to ask "did you really do drugs?" but she didn't in the end. darn.

anyway sheikh haikel, in testimony to his girth, kept eating throughout the show. and his impression of czech beauties he came across while hosting a modelling show was hilarious. the way they'd dissolve into giggles and swoons everytime he mentioned the name "milan baros", since that was the only thing remotely czech he could say to them. haha he's just damn funny la. even if he did do drugs. it was a blast being on air- even though we had to wear awful little party hats that made me look positively weirder than usual, and we had to cheer and sing some funny bayern jingles which i thought were rather corny. and everytime the camera would pan to the hosts i'd try to lean to one side to get out of its range, but the first few times i misjudged and leaned towards collette instead, and i'd realise and hurriedly jerk back out of sight. i think that happened several times, not very glamorous really. hahaha.

oh and then i got my 20seconds of individualised fame! after they showed a clip of oliver kahn in all his snarling glory and read out that sms. so i duly reprised the two lines above, after which the camera zoomed out again, which was a good thing because i thought i looked awfully pasty on screen. argh. pity bayern lost the night before to juve (cursed be you, del piero!) if not there might've been more things to say. football crazy also showed snippets from the '99/'00/'01 champions league (manchester united heartbreak and valencia joy) and then showed an earlier video the hosts dressed up in bavarian costume and displaying emotions in relation to bayern's fortunes. they did a funny bavarian jig which was pretty hilarious too haha.

anyway it was a very interesting experience indeed! being on tv, talking about my favorite topic in the world, albeit in stupid party hats and looking pasty. excellent way to destress from the horrors of the As. anyway back i go to work!

so there
you got me in your clutch again
so there
so there
i love your touch
and that voodoo that you do so well
it's got me spinning around and round

so let me in your world
let me in your world for a while
let me in your world
so i can sing to you

oh no
you got me going crazy
for you, baby
oh no
you made me go
insane for you, baby

so there
you got me in your clutch again
and this living is strange
we count our feelings in yesterdays
but is that how you keep your clutch, baby
is that how you keep it, darling

so let me in your world
let me in your world for a while
let me in your world
so i, i can sing to you

shea seger [clutch] : the may street project

she rolls the window down
and she
talks over the sound
of the cars that pass us by
and i don't know why
but she's changed my mind

would you look at her
she looks at me
she's got me thinking about her constantly
but she don't know how i feel
and as she carries on without a doubt
i wonder if she's figured out
i'm crazy for this girl

she was the one to hold me
the night
the sky fell down
and what was i thinking when
the world didn't end
why didn't i know what i know now

right now
face to face
all my fears
pushed aside
and right now
i'm ready to spend the rest of my life
with you

etymology: what's really in a name?

i'm kinda buzzed and it's all because
this is how we do it
South Central does it like nobody does
this is how we do it
to all my neighbors you got much flavor
this is how we do it
let's flip the track
bring the old school back
this is how we do it


montell jordan this is how we do it

thanks philip for inadvertently making my econs 's' paper much more bearable by telling me that makaay scored a hat-trick in bayern munich's 4-0 rout of ajax just before the paper started! it's been a long while since they showed any hint of brilliance against one of the noted european teams. suddenly things are looking much better for bayern and germany (after that 1-1 draw with brazil). excellent.

man i have vivid memories of makaay's hat-trick against bayern two years ago, the morning just hours before my e math prelim paper. he totally screwed me up then, being only the second player to put three past oliver kahn (the first being michael owen in germany's disgraceful 5-1 loss to england).

well i DO like the way he's making amends for that, though. go number ten!
***

Roy hammers hat-trick at the right end



29.09.2004
In a couple of short seasons, Roy Makaay has put the Bayern loyalists through a roller-coaster of the emotions, from profound depression to total rapture. Almost exactly two years ago, at the same time and in the same competition, the Dutch ace fired his single previous hat-trick at the Olympic stadium, only for the "wrong" team.

Back then, Munich's Champions League dream came crashing down in a 3-2 defeat to La Coruna, but on Tuesday evening the Netherlands hitman almost single handedly returned the 2001 winners to centre stage in the European game. "He blew us away with La Coruna then, and he did it to his fellow countrymen tonight," Uli Hoeneß said with a grin afterwards, "and that's why we bought him. "

Makaay set a rousing Champions League evening in motion after 28 minutes. "Owen Hargreaves delivered a long ball, and I had the half second or so you need to let off a shot. I wondered what I should do, lob or shoot. Then I decided for the latter, and I reckon it was the right idea," the player said, describing a sensational 20 metre thunderbolt in typically dry fashion.

"That was a really acrobatic display. The way he brings down and controls the ball is something I've never seen in my long career," deeply impressed coach Felix Magath said in admiration of the goal-getter's skill.

Magath's Ajax counterpart Ronald Koeman was angry with his defence. "I told my players before the match always to keep a man behind Makaay. If I look at the opener, I have to say none of them was listening to me. " Makaay struck again shortly before and after the break with a header and a penalty to seal his fellow countrymen's defeat, drawing words of the highest praise from the visiting coach. "He's put on a superb demonstration today." Makaay now has 10 goals in 10 Champions League appearances for the Reds.

The 29 year-old would dearly like to apply his deadly finishing skills to the Dutch national cause, but new coach Marco van Basten seems determined to follow his predecessors' practice and relegate the striker to a substitute role. Makaay will be thrilled at turning in such a potent display against Amsterdam, although he insisted afterwards his priorities were his club and his personal goals, "not some third party somewhere else."

Fortunately for Bayern fans everywhere, super striker Makaay now turns out for the "right" team.

***

feels like you made a mistake
you made somebody's heart break
but now i have to let you go
i have to let you go

you left a stain on every one of my good days
but i am stronger than you know
i have to let you go
no one's ever turned you over
no one's tried
to ever let you down
beautiful girl- bless your heart

i've got a disease
deep inside me
makes me feel uneasy
i can't live without you
tell me what am i supposed to do about it
keep your distance from it
don't pay no attention to me
i've got a disease

feels like you're making a mess
you're hell on wheels in a black dress
you drove me to the fire
and left me there to burn

every little thing you do is tragic
all my life before was magic
beautiful girl- i can't breathe

i think that i'm sick
but leave me be
while my world is coming down on me
you taste like honey, honey
tell me can i be your honeybee
be strong keep telling myself
that it won't take long till
i'm free of my disease

matchboxtwenty disease

i just couldn't help reminiscing- especially after rowing at macritchie on friday evening and watching the sun set progressively over the course of our last kilometre, till all that remained were the bright blinking lights in the distance, and the quiet motion of our paddles entering, the strong pull, and then the withdrawal with nary a sound. awesome. remembering the way it all used to be, not that long ago. somehow it's not the same without everyone else, and i know we can never go back to that. Memories, sure. but that's all they can ever be, now.

on a lighter note,
i promise i'll upload the rest of the photos after prelims!

the Raffles K2 rowers- this one's for you!


[RJC 13 500m / RJC 13 1000m/ RJC 12 1000m/ RJC 19 500m]
L-R weiqi shine fengyi leqi sheryl mag jingting youjia

when you close your eyes
takeaminutetakeamoment
realise
do you see me when you fantasize
tonight'll be your night

i'm just sitting here daydreamingaboutyou
and allthethingsyoudo
girl, feels so right
and all i know is you're the one for me
that special kinda' lady
in my life, in my life

finally changed my layout after years. please read the disclaimer on the left before bombarding me with pointed remarks. thank you very much.

three days of the prelims have passed- somehow the papers have generally been decent so far. i can't expect too much of math but at least it was a paper i could do for once. econs p3 was pretty good, seeing that my deficiency of knowledge with regards to macroeconomic policy, which i just couldn't force down my throat, wasn't exactly very detrimental. three hours of phygeog today has not been very kind to my hand. i've got a total of six more three-hour long papers, including a day with two of those killers, which is not a thought i'd like to entertain right now. went to the toa payoh clubfitt gym after the paper, hoping to be able to save myself from deteriorating further into a lumpy mass. was looking forward to it at first, until i stepped into the gym. man that gym totally sucks. so damn pissed with all the creaky old machines with putrid smells and peroxide blonde old faggots who kept hogging all the free weights and preening into the mirrors that i left after only bench press and upright row. what a stupid waste of a dollar fifty! (at least the ticketing lady was nice and gave me student rate since i was in school uniform). the rowing machine was damn cranky too. i had to coax it out of its slumber and somehow the seat was wobbly and the metal chain entirely rusted.

to top it all off, the gym instructor on duty bore an uncanny resemblance to ahmad.

and so i decided to leave as fast as possible.

think i'll stick to bishan gym. so far it's been the safest place. i hope that doesn't change.


you can be my brown eyed beauty.

still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
still a little bit of you, laced with my doubt
still a little hard to say what's going on

still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
still a little bit of your face, i haven't kissed
you step a little closer each day
still i can't say what's going on

stones taught me to fly
love taught me to lie
life taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball

it isn't hard to fall, at all.

i watched the men's allaround gym finals yesterday and paul hamm was a true inspiration. normally you'd think that after screwing up your fourth event with a dismal score of 9.1 caused by lurching into the judges' table after an awful landing from vault, there'd be no chance for a medal, much less the gold. usually there wouldn't be anything left to compete for, you'd reason that it wouldn't be possible to get back into the running after that horrific mistake. hamm was twelvth after four rotations, which left him with only parallel bars and high bar to redeem his olympic dream. but hamm pulled off one of the most electrifying parallel bars routine i'd ever seen immediately after his vault, which earned him 9.837 points and rocketed him into fourth place, within reach of the top three. and a similarly powerfully inspirational high bar routine (three releases! with the one-armed giant swing! god.) was enough to propel him past the koreans and back to the place where he belonged- the top spot.
the true spirit of a sportsman- it's never over till the end. and he thoroughly deserves his victory. i'm inspired.

Hamm's victory was high drama
By Jill Lieber, USA TODAY


ATHENS — When he walked over to the high bar at Olympic Indoor Hall, the final gymnast in the final event of the men's gymnastics all-around competition Wednesday, Paul Hamm had no idea he needed to score more than 9.825 to pull himself out of fourth place and take home the gold medal. What he had in his mind after he crash-landed on the vault two events earlier was that he needed to pull off the performances of his life to even get the bronze. So Hamm took a deep breath and began swinging powerfully through the air, executing his technically difficult routine and then nailing his landing. When his score came up — 9.837 — he still wasn't sure if it would be enough. And even after the arena scoreboard retabulated the scores, and his coach, Miles Avery, screamed, "Olympic champion!" Hamm couldn't quite compute what had just happened. "I looked at Miles and said, 'Olympic champion? No way!' " a still-stunned Hamm said an hour later. "I really had thought gold was totally out of the question."

In one of the most dramatic comebacks in sports, with the closet margin of victory, 0.012, in Olympic history, Hamm, 21, of Waukesha, Wis., became a U.S. men's gymnastics legend.

An hour after the event was over, Hamm was still trying to fathom what had just happened.
"After I missed the vault, I thought there was no chance for gold," Hamm said. "I thought maybe a bronze. I was very upset and depressed, because I knew that all-around was my best chance for winning the gold. When the score came up and Miles yelled, 'Olympic champion,' I was still shocked, because I just didn't think it was possible. How could it be possible?"

Hamm had come to Athens as the reigning world champion, filled with high expectations, billed with lots of media fanfare. He showed strength, power, creativity and consistency throughout the qualifications and team finals. All along he had said if he hit all six events, there was no question the all-around title would be his.

On the night's first event, the floor exercise, Hamm made a statement, his solid tumbling earning 9.725 to put him into first place, tied with China's Yang Wei, the 2000 Olympic and 2003 world silver medalist. He followed with a 9.7 on the pommel horse, although Wei snuck past him on the still rings to take a .037 lead. Next it was Hamm's turn on the rings, his weakest event, and he scored a solid 9.587, celebrating with a pinpoint landing and pumped fists. Wei dipped on the vault (9.512), and Hamm took over first by .038.

And then disaster struck. Hamm didn't rotate enough on his vault, which caused him to sit down on the landing and almost fall off the podium, nearly hitting a judge. He appeared to have fallen out of medal contention in one fell swoop, scoring 9.137 and dropping to 12th.
"I just didn't get enough power off the vault," he said. "I landed to the side and couldn't withstand the impact, and I fell over."
A collective gasp, then murmurs, swept through the hall. Hamm sat on a chair on the sideline adjacent to the vault runway, stunned and forlorn, staring silently into space, figuring his shot at U.S. men's gymnastics immortality was gone.
First up on the next event, parallel bars, Hamm pulled off a great routine — his handstand positions were solid and very extended. His double-pike dismount was the period at the end of his never-say-die sentence. Some of the leaders who followed him on the parallel bars had problems, but the last man in the event, Korea's Yang, stuck a 9.775 and took over first place.

Elsewhere in the arena, the gymnasts in sixth through 11th place started faltering, too. All of that helped rocket Hamm into fourth place — and put him in striking distance on the high bar, his strongest event. "I'm very happy right now," Hamm said. "I was so angry at myself after I'd missed the vault. I had worked years for that moment, and it all went down the drain.

"And then I had the best performance of my life on high bar. I'm proud of myself. I realized my dream. And I never, never, never gave up."
***

***
i feel so unsure
as i take your hand
and lead you to the dance floor
as the music dies
something in your eyes
calls to mind a silver screen
and all its sad goodbyes

i'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
i know you're not a fool
i should have known better than to cheat a friend
and waste a chance that i've been given
so i'm never gonna dance again
the way i danced with you

time can never mend
the careless whisper of a good friend
to the heart and mind
ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find

tonight the music seems so loud
i wish that we could lose this crowd
maybe it's better this way
we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
we could have been so good together
we could have lived this dance forever
but now who's gonna dance with me
please stay

now that you've gone
now that you've gone
now that you've gone
was what i did so wrong
so wrong that you had to leave me alone

george michael :: careless whisper
***

oh snap outta it. what an ass i am.
but is it a sin to keep hoping?

in the computer lab now after a damn slack human geog lesson- just finished an awful econs essay-cum-drq during econs tutorial just now (i swear, sowden can be really slack at times but when he gets going its workworkwork all the way) and i've got a math quiz later, which i'm positively sure i'm going to flunk. oh god my lower back aches like crazy, a product of doing 4 sets of 15back extensions clasping a 10kg plate in the weights room yesterday. but yeah it nails the abs and the back at the same time. my calves are screaming out too from calf presses yesterday. gosh. and i heard something that quite aptly summed up my passion for doing weights/ working out, coming from a rugger (if you have to hear it from anyone, it's gotta be a rugger) when he was talking to a j1 guy canoeist :" it's like a fucking addiction".

oh boy i couldn't agree any better.
hell yeah it's like a fucking addiction.

haha there're national squad time trials this week- man isn't it crazy? how'd they expect us to maintain our peak for three weeks, spanning nationals to scf to trials? it's damn crazy la. especially since there isn't anymore school training now and all we've got are our own sessions, and we've cut down on morning training at macritchie due to the lack of time. and the timings to make it to the elite team anyway scf on sat/sun was a great way to cap off the competitive season for 2004. our heat on sat was total crap. i have no idea why i thought it was a false start, so we stopped very nicely in the middle of the race (remember its only 250m, no time to stop man!), looked back, went "oh SHIT" and continued the race. yeahh. well at least we still managed to come in 2nd. semis were marginally better, at least we didn't stop this time. and the funny thing was that the hc boat with chian lin was in lane1 while we were in lane2- which is ALWAYS the case-it's really quite hilarious at how we inevitably meet each other no matter what distances we race in. finals we re so damn close! we won by a hair's breadth. oh man. i'm quite sure it was a rather spectacular race to watch too because the 5 boats came in within 2seconds of each other. anyway nic and melissa came down (it's nice finally seeing you, for the first time, nic) hahaha!

finally i've found the time to get back to this blog and reminisce about nationals. it's been almost a week since finals, and a week since heats. man. i'd like to thank the seniors for coming down to support us- the j3s and the j4s and perhaps more (though i may not know every single one of you, thanks for coming back and showing us that the call of raffles canoeing remains strong even after you've left). the support was incredible. especially to people like benedict, justin, huilin and lynn. you guys have done so much for our batch- continually motivating, supporting us, since you all have the wealth of experience garnered from competing yourselves. also tremendous thankyous to the j1s who didn't compete but came down to provide the logistics support, carrying paddles, transporting boats, bringing food... i'm sure all the j2s are really grateful for you guys. it'll be your turn to compete next year- carry on the legacy that we and our seniors have left.

i guess thinking back right now about the finals race- it's kinda weird reminiscing about it. i have nothing much to say except for the fact that i think it's the best i've ever rowed. every inch of me, every breath straining towards the finish line. before the start of the race my mind was a complete blank, and i was entirely focused on rowing the best race of my life. winning was secondary, doing my absolute best foremost. and i'm glad that i have absolutely no regrets about that race. definitely it hit me hard that i wasn't able to clinch the gold, but i guess that's part and parcel of life and canoeing. you win some, you lose some. the pair from acjc, winny and jasmine, totally deserved their gold, anyway. i must say that they rowed a very inspired race, giving it all they had, and such opponents are definitely worthy of respect. congratulations.

i guess i've come out of nationals (and canoeing) learning so much more than i'd ever imagined i would. i'm glad that after nationals the canoeists from different schools can finally set aside their rivalries and i can get to know people for who they really are. to HC canoeists- man! we've always thought you people were great! but having to compete against each other on so many occasions kinda hampered us in getting to know you better. anyway i'm glad to have known you all, and hopefully we can all meet again sometime! to SR canoeists- haha wow i didn't know that some of you went to my church- i kinda got a shock when i saw you ppl there- thanks for the support and encouragement especially prior to and immediately after my race. even though we're not from the same school i'm really touched that you guys put aside school loyalties to egg us on during the finals. thank you so much. to MJ canoeists- haha training with you guys has been quite an experience! haha thanks for the support.. train hard and you guys will definitely do real well in all the races to come.

oh shucks the bell's rung for gp class. i'll blog about the rest sometime soon if not i'll be late and evans won't be very pleased with me. haha.

oh god. final land training yesterday and that realization only struck me when it was over. when i was dumping my workout gloves and weights logbook into my locker and it dawned on me that i'd never have to use those if i didn't want to, ever again. i wouldn't ever need to bust my ass off doing 110pds/10reps for lat pulldowns, bench 86/30 till the lactic acid builds up and explodes, or knot raffia for string roll (which we had affectionately christened 'spring roll' in futile attempts to make the prospect of that exercise somewhat more bearable), or do nauseating 4x1.6km intervals at 5pm ever again. yeah. so is this how it ends?
 
philip's right- part of me, like him, does yearn for days when i can be lazy. after one plus years of committment to this sport i love, i've almost forgotten what it's like to go home early when school ends instead of training till dusk, eat anything and everything i want (okay perhaps i've attained moksha when it comes to this, hahaha quan!) and generally have all the time on my hands especially on weekends to blow. but i don't think that'll suit me. i just can't give up what i've gained over the past year. i can't go back.
 
i'll miss the training sessions-  seeing gs do her rubbish vibrations during weights, being suaned by weiqi and vania, our team runs, our circuit trainings, ab work (in which gs vibrates (AND gyrates) awfully, again),  next-day-wake-up-with-hellish-backache 4-3-2-3-4 kayak rotations. Going to kallang gym and being buaya-ed by stupid mat bodybuilders (there you go, vania!). pullup trials under the watchful eye of huilin. 6k runs to the esplanade and back, following the oft-frequented route by shine and her fellow apple-eater. collective groans from the entire team upon hearing that jiao lian wanted us to run before training. rowing 4 2ks and countless 500s and getting all sunburned and parched under the merciless sun. complaining about the oilspills and dead animal carcasses at kallang. hating wakeboarders and speedboats to the core for delaying our launching. doing weird things like one-stroke starts. the thrill and exhilaration of racing and being in a k2 that flies.
 
our team dinners and team outings- stayover at zhen's house with sharksfin soup and pizza and deutscher fussball on tv to boot, yami yogurt and subway saturdays with sheryl, gs and the rest, and not too long ago cheesefries wednesdays (okay i admit!) LAST YEAR after training. team dinner after southernislands expedition when the dessert vanished from the plate within twelve seconds after having arrived at the table, carol being the main culprit. weiqi being mock-impaled with a greasy pork rib knife from kenny rogers' by gs. taking rubbish photos at the esplanade, most notably the shot of me gesturing at gs's ample chest which was nicely illuminated by a ray of light. psycheup session at lyd's house with nail-painting exploits pre-sdba,  slicing our own leftover bananas from dragonboat competition onto the waffles at cafe cartel, which carol promptly devoured, being none the wiser. those hilariously raucous team chats at fuzion or tcc, which inevitably always culminated in a most undistinguished array of candid photographs being taken amidst the forore, which would, upon close examination later, prove to be most incriminating. (how can i ever forget the shot of gs's inflated assets HAHAHA) mag urging vania not to  attempt to "make a mountain out of a molehill" in perhaps undisguised reference to the aforementioned assets.      
 
the team. zhen sheryl gs mag weiqi shine lyd vania leqi carol. the ten of you mean so, so  much to me. inexplicably, i'll miss suaning and being suaned. i'll miss the training together, running together, rowing together. the encouragement, the spirit that's lacking in other teams but most definitely not in ours.  the guys team. though our teams mightn't be as close as we'd have preferred them to be, we're still all raffles canoeists together and that's what really matters.
 
a week to finals, and then i won't know what to make of everything.  i'm relishing the idea of competing, but then again, i'm dreading the time when everything'll be over. i might cry. i don't know. when it finally fully sinks in that i've rowed my last race as a raffles canoeist.
 
oh well. Till then.

*  *  *

RAFFLES CANOEING

batch of 2003-2004

 

*  *  *

 
===================================
you said it was like this
i was torn between two worlds
one full of promise
and the truth i knew would hurt
you say i'm no angel
trying to put the past behind
 
so now i try to find
a place to leave all
memories in my mind

we try, our lives away
then stumble into the grave
we cry, and still they stay
the past won't go away
the story of my life
 
see i was just thinking
now my life is on the road
the straight and the narrow
on the route that i've been showed
you know it's not easy
to try to change your ways
 
so now i try to find
a place to leave all
memories in my mind

we try, our lives away
then stumble into the grave
we cry, and still they stay
the past won't go away
the story of my life
 
a place to leave all
memories in my mind
 
we try, our lives away
then stumble into the grave
we cry, and still they stay
the past won't go away
the story of my,
try, our lives away
then stumble into the grave
we cry, and still they stay
the past won't go away

the story of my life
\\ kristian leontiou

 

hey check this website out. it's freaking hilarious. apparently it's the website of the weird eyebrow plucking guy who roams around outside tangs, pouncing from behind corners to accost unwitting victims. i remember encountering him once last year with charm and he tried to wheedle us into plucking our eyebrows *sheesh. now he's a guy who's thoroughly strange. grossly inflated ego to boot as well.

doing some last minute research for my religion presentation on jehovah's witnesses for tmr. so awfully busy! and nationals are in two or so weeks... which seems rather near yet far away at the same time. actually i'll be really sad when it's all over. not gonna think about that right now..

CRASH : PUSH
***
crash
would you like me to forget myself
and lose myself
in you

push
just one push will do
then i`m overboard
drowning in you

i hear a whisper slowly and
soon our lips will be near
in between the day and night
i step into the blue twilight
catch me, darling
catch me

hold me back
i think i`m falling
over you
what did you do

help me now
i`m losing me
into you
what did you do

what did you do

walk
i walk a line that leads to you
waiting anticipating
desire has no safety
to lead you on the road
going crazy

i hear a whisper slowly and
soon our lips will be near

hold me back
i think i`m falling
over you
what did you do

help me now
i`m losing me
into you
what did you do

i hear you whisper darling
darling

in between the day and night
i step into the blue twilight
catch me, darling
catch me

hold me back
i think i`m falling
over you
what did you do

help me now
i`m losing me
into you
what did you do

what did you do
***
robi draco rosa \\ mad love

it's been a month plus since i blogged. but my computer hangs roughly every ten minutes so i haven't been going online much either. oh well. it's halftime now of eurofinals and i must say the greeks are doing an excellent job defensively. which is both good, and bad, as it'll be an awfully low-scoring game and i think it'll be decided either by silver goal or penalties. actually i'd quite like to see a penalty shootout because i want to see Ricardo the Lionhearted take off his gloves and perform his heroics again.

haha. 6-a-side futsal yesterday at ecp- it was a blast! first match walkover due to the no-show of our opponents. we were all secretly relieved! (okay so maybe it wasn't secretly, it was audibly). second match against bishan ite, the toughest team (probably) in the tournament. but we managed to hold them to a goalless draw! it was damn funny because i found myself right back just in front of the keeper. oh and sona the keeper pulled off some fantastic saves too. you go, girl! i think the bishan ppl were freaking frustrated after the match because they couldn't seem to find a way past the five defenders and the keeper(which was, actually, the entire team.) third match versus Wreckonin' United (what a mouthful!) manda's one-on-one with the keeper gave us the first goal and i scored (with my left foot!) the second. great game it was. tight defensively as well. but today was pretty disappointing as we let in one, just one fluke goal in our fourth match against the Tootsiepoops (okay this is starting to sound rather incredulous, but believe me, that was their team name. oh and by the way, we were Team Nutmeg. haha)we dominated the entire game, manda had a shot towards the left corner saved by their keeper, my first shot (with left foot again, went agonizingly wide past the right post) and yoke pean just missed heading from my crosses by a couple of centimetres. damn. but i was quite happy with my crosses from the corner! yeahhh.

oh well then. second half's started now! be back sometime.

time manipulates your heart preconceptions torn apart begin to doubt my state of mind

but i won't go down on what i said i won't retract convictions read i may perplex but i'm not blind

today was, to put it frankly, shit.
rainy morning which dampened my mood immediately.
at least taboo smackdown was fun. sometimes i'm really thankful for 2a13a. maybe i haven't treasured you guys enough but i will now.
the dratted dreary lectures and tutorials in all their mundane glory.
crap.
yongtaufoo stall owner on a hiatus! what an absolute calamity. but nothing compared to everything else.
math tutorial. i don't know. i ought to be glad that for once i'm on track and maybe even ahead in math, my most hated subject, but somehow i was so spent during the tutorial. as in, i just couldn't be bothered.
screw that.
so f*cked during the canal run. damn i suspect i've got gastric and the pain was awful.
oh god, weights. going through the repetitive motions of loading, lifting, releasing, resting.

and then i heard some things i'd be better off not knowing.
how long can i possibly live in denial? how much longer can i go on thinking that it'll happen when the sad f*cking truth is that it won't? oh for god's sake snap out of it you ass.

so take all this noise into your brain and send it back again i'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call you up and then i'll say the words out loud

but there's one thing i need to know.
where are you? where have you been? everything was good a month ago. i could have gone on like that. but all of a sudden it's snatched away just like that. you say nothing's changed. but from the look of it, things have. do you have to keep me in the dark like that? what happened? can't we even talk any more? there's this distance between us and try as i might, i can't seem to bridge it. you're just too far away.
f*ck i can handle it. come on, hit me with the stinging reality. i'll take it as it is, and i'll try my best to pretend that i'm fine. really.

you could resurrect a thousand words to deceive me more and more a thousand words will give the reasons why i don't need you anymore

there's this gaping void in my life that's growing day by day. bloody hell. what's f*cking changed?

maybe you can't lose what you never had.

i'll say the words out loud i'll say a thousand words or more

just as long as you know that i'll never forget. though it was all in the space of a few fleeting weeks. thank you for those moments. the conversations, the walks. even the silence, when words weren't necessary. can we ever go back there? i don't know. could we possibly?

manipulation. fabrication. conversation. annihilation.
i'll say a thousand words or more

damnation. frustration. elevation. procreation.
i'll say a thousand words or more

a thousand words will give the reasons why i don't need you anymore.

i can't believe the way
your love has got a hold on me
each morning i wake to find you near
you lift me above my fears
and set my feet on solid ground
all of my days belong to you

and i breathe in your breath of life
that fills my heart
you are my all consuming fire

i stand here before you
in wide open wonder
amazed at the glory of you
the power of heaven
revealing your purpose in me
as i'm reaching for you

hillsong \\reaching for you

***

was just reminded of this awesome song a few days back. haven't heard it in quite a while but it was one of my favorites and i guess it still is. ah. finally i've got a day of rest tomorrow! there hasn't been a single day when i haven't had training in one form or another. phew what a life! but i'm fine with it. it's pretty satisfying. especially early morning training. it starts my day off just right and besides i got to skip the massive attire check that befell the entire school on monday. you'd see everyone in a flurry trying to stuff their drawstrings into their skirts, hastily removing a myriad of miniscule, oddly-shaped items from their earlobes, tidying up their hair (which means a spot of frantic flattening for me, especially) and generally looking unusually neat and proper.

after the attire check teacher walks away though, blouses are tugged out, skirts mysteriously ascend to show more of the knee than is supposed to, the metal items to their initial positions, and my irrepressible hair makes its way skywards again. this process never fails to repeat itself without much variation whenever the dreaded time comes around again.

ugh there's phototaking later. at least it's a pretty short day, nonetheless. be going for my canal run and doing the legs programme later. sighhh i'd better make the most out of tomorrow's rest!

is it love tonight
when everyone's dreaming
of a better life
in this world
divided by fear
we've gotta believe that
there's a reason we're here
there's a reason we're here

'cause these are the days worth living
these are the years we're given
and these are the moments
these are the times
let's make the best out of our lives

see the truth all around
our faith can be broken
and our hands can be bound
but open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
with nothing to stop us
is it not worth the risk
is it not worth the risk

'cause these are the days worth living
these are the years we're given
and these are the moments
these are the times
let's make the best out of our lives

even if hope was shattered
i know it wouldn't matter
'cause these are the moments
these are the times
let's make the best out of our lives

we can't go wrong
thinking it's wrong
to speak our minds
i've gotta let out what's inside

is it love tonight
when everyone's dreaming
but can we get it right
yeah but can we get it right

'cause these are the days worth living
these are the years we're given
and these are the moments
these are the times
let's make the best out of our lives

even if hope was shattered
i know it wouldn't matter
'cause these are the moments
these are the times
let's make the best out of our lives

the calling \\our lives

Hauntingly, achingly beautiful.

***
somebody said they saw you
the person you were kissing wasn't me
and i would never ask you
i just kept it to myself

i don't wanna know
if you're playing me, keep it on the low
'cause my heart can't take it anymore
and if you're creeping, please don't let it show
oh baby, i don't wanna know

oh baby
i think about it when i hold you
when looking in your eyes, i can't believe
i don't need to know the truth
baby keep it to yourself

i don't wanna know
if you're playing me, keep it on the low
'cause my heart can't take it anymore
and if you're creeping, please don't let it show
oh baby, i don't wanna know

did he touch you better then me (touch you better then me)
did he watch you fall asleep (watch you fall asleep)
did you show him all those things that you used to do to me (do to me baby)
if you're better off that way (better off that way)
baby what i like to say (all that i can say)
go on and do your thing and don't come back to me
(stay away from me baby)

i don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you movin
i know when you in the house or when you cruisin
it's been proven, my love you abusin
i can't understand, how a man got you choosin (yeah)
undecided, i came and provided ma
my undivided, you came and denied it (why)
don't even try it, i know when you lyin (i know when you lyin)
don't even do that, i know why you cryin (stop cryin)
i'm not applyin no pressure, just wanna let you know
that i don't wanna let you go (i don't wanna let you go)
and i don't wanna let you leave
can't say i didn't let you breathe
gave you extra cheese (c'mon), put you in the SUV
you wanted ice so i made you freeze
made you hot like the West Indies (that's right)
now it's time you invest in me
'cause if not then it's best you leave
holla, yeah

i don't wanna know
if you're playing me, keep it on the low
'cause my heart can't take it anymore
and if you're creeping, please don't let it show
oh baby, i don't wanna know


mario winans ft. p.diddy i don't wanna know
***

is that really the case? am i all that incapable of what i believed i was able to achieve before?

perhaps it was never me, maybe it was always them.

whatever it is, i never want to be perceived as latching on to someone and basking in undeserved glory. god i resent whatever he said. i'm going to row like anything, make it so that there'll never be any reason to say that ever again. i'm sorry. i have my pride, and faith in my ability, and i simply can't take those words lying down.

dammit the title is mine. ours. regardless of whether i have to push you for every stroke, scream myself hoarse, row till my back breaks, go through blood sweat and tears, press on despite the burning lactic acid, and even if i have to single-handedly propel the boat forwards with my last ounce of energy, i'll do it. whatever it takes. i'm not stopping at anything.

until we cross the finishing line, turn back, and know that we're first.

that's when i'll know i've finished the race, done my duty as a Raffles Canoeist, and, most of all, know that i've achieved what was my only goal all along.

it was a good feeling to be rowing at macritchie again. what a glorious way to have spent a sunday morning, in our beautiful k2, enjoying the tranquility of the freshwater (which is much more than you can say for kallang), doing ten kilometres at our super low frequency, and feeling the breeze as we do the return laps. i wouldn't mind doing this for a long time to come. nevertheless, it admittedly takes a lot of commitment after what we've heard today (weekday morning training from 0630 to 07++ hrs?) and there's always the all-important issue of studies. i'll give it my best shot and see how it goes.

but of course i am immensely thankful for this opportunity. all along it's been a dream? and now i'm one step closer to it. even though there are numerous inconveniences and headaches like the ever-problematic paddles (FOUR people -and counting- have already unwittingly grabbed on to my paddle shaft while on the bus, thinking it was a pole) and the issue of time. but i guess it's worth it.

and of course, thank you for the fantastic morning.

more photos along the right column under "painting the town red" ;)... mainly pictures of post-scf chillout at nydc and fuzion. haha. can't be bothered to blog anymore for now. ciao!

okay PHOTOS are finally uploaded - under raffles canoeing 03-04. or you can click here.

contains pictures from scf 1st nat'l jnr kayaking c'ships at macritchie on 27-28 march 2004. will be uploading post-c'ships photos soon! ugh uploading pics takes a hell of a long time. till then.

training today was pretty good! thanks sheryl. you know what i've told you... and yeah let's just keep that in mind and we'll both train hard. anyway we're both in the same boat when it comes to this (ugh how lame). thanks gs for the wonderful talk at ghim moh. i really enjoyed it and glad things are this way again. maybe we'll buy cheng tng for vania next week! to the whole girls team: man you lot make my life so much better. thanks for everything. and to you- haha nah you didn't dao me. it's your smile which keeps me going. though we're not k2ing together any longer (for now), what difference does it make? i know you'll always be there.

and so will i. let's go.

***
to the sunset of your glory where my heart and future lies
there's nothing like that feeling when i look into your eyes
***

you would know, it would be clear
that angels brought me here

in the media centre now blogging while someone's reading cleo just a couple of metres away. i haven't blogged in a real long time- partly because i just don't feel like getting round to it, and also because i haven't had much chance to use the home computer which keeps screwing itself up at every available opportunity. today's a super hot tuesday! will probably mug a bit later and then do weights at 5pm when there won't be any good company around.

sigh i really don't have much to say right now. and i think i could probably spend the time up to 5pm more fruitfully with someone else.

later.

maybe i'll still be able to realise my dreams of studying medicine. who knows?

The Straits Times APRIL 3, 2004
You can still study medicine with arts degree
THE Graduate Medical School, which will open in 2006, will offer all degree holders a shot at taking another degree to become a doctor. Applicants do not need any background in science and their first degree need not be related to medicine either. It could even be in the arts.

Their suitability will be judged by their performance at an interview, said Professor Hui Kam Man, who is helping in planning the syllabus for the course.

The director of cellular and molecular research at the National Cancer Centre added: 'As they're more mature students who would be more inclined towards research than undergraduates, we'll hopefully produce a new breed of true clinician-scientists, which is missing here.'

The graduate school, to be situated in the Outram area, will be run jointly by the National University of Singapore and America's Duke University, known for its rigorous medical programme with a strong research focus. It will take in about 50 students, who will attend a five-year course. They will spend their entire third year doing research. They will graduate with a doctorate in medicine and be recognised as qualified medical doctors.

In a move that could also help Singapore's push to develop research in the life sciences, the cancer centre signed a memorandum of understanding (MOU) with the University College of London yesterday.

This is the first MOU the university, among the top four in Britain, has inked with a medical institution in Asia. It paves the way for collaboration in cancer research, teaching programmes and exchange of staff. The pact would help the London university's researchers study diseases that are more common in Asia.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright @ 2004 Singapore Press Holdings. All rights reserved.


cruel to the eye
i see the way he makes you smile
cruel to the eye
watching him hold what used to be mine

why did i lie
what did i walk away to find

i can't breathe easy
can't sleep at might
till you're by my side
no, i can't breathe easy
i can't dream yet another dream
without you lying next to me
there's no air

curse me inside
for every word that caused you to cry
curse me inside

i won't forget, no i won't baby
i don't know why
i left the one i was looking to find

out of my mind
nothing makes sense anymore
i want you back in my life
that's all i'm breathing for

tell me why

oh won't you tell me why

i can't dream yet another dream
without you lying by my side
there's no air

i can't breathe easy
can't sleep at night
till you're by my side
'cause i can't breathe easy

i can't dream yet another dream
without you lying next to me
there's no air

there's no air

ugh what a boring day. spent half of gp doing weights, not knowing there was a talk in lt4 till it was half over. took my routine nap in econs tutorial, watched a nice video in geog lecture (i think human geog is really the only bearable lesson) and copied notes conscientiously in math lect. went for canal run after that at 12:50pm. damned hot but i knew i probably wouldn't run if i didn't get it over and done with then. almost died, it was so freaking hot. played bball after that (i've been abstaining from bball for ages already, under orders from jiao lian and huilin) and realised that i hadn't deproved all that much, which is a relief really.

thanks gs for the talk and i hope things go back to normal after this. past few days weren't exactly the best days of my life and yes i think we've got everything sorted out so let's just move on from here yeah? love you. rowed cycled and did the swim thing later in fitness room for a little while before answering the plaintive call of weights from opposite. doing weights brings me great satisfaction. perhaps i really am strange after all.

and yes thank you for the walk... meandering through holland grove avenue through the private estates and stopping at three playgrounds to, of all things, do pullups... and the wonderful talk we had. it really helped to clear my mind i guess. i wonder how we ever found so much to say.

training tomorrow! great. i hope to do k2... i really don't relish the thought of wobbling along in a k1 anymore. sigh i wish i had better balance. ugh.

to you:
hey dear thanks a lot for everything. we could spend eternity talking. in fact, sometimes there isn't even a need for words.

***
so lately, i've been wondering
who will be there to take my place
when i'm gone, you'll need love
to light the shadows on your face
if a great wave shall fall
it would fall upon us all
and between the sand and stone
could you make it on your own

if i could, then i would
i'll go wherever you will go
way up high or down low
i'll go wherever you will go

and maybe, i'll find out
the way to make it back someday
to watch you, to guide you
through the darkest of your days
if a great wave shall fall
it would fall upon us all
well i hope there's someone out there
who can bring me back to you

run away with my heart
run away with my hope
run away with my love

i know now, just quite how
my life and love might still go on
in your heart and your mind
i'll stay with you for all of time

if i could turn back time
i'll go wherever you will go
if i could make you mine
i'll go wherever you will go
***

the calling \\ wherever you will go

and she takes another step
slowly she opens the door
check that he is sleeping
pick up all the broken glass
and furniture on the floor
been up half the night screaming
now it's time to get away
pack up the kids in the car
another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

and there are children to think of
baby's asleep in the back seat
wonder how they'll ever make it
through this living nightmare
but the mind is an amazing thing
full of candy dreams and new toys
and another cheap hotel
two beds and a coffee machine
but there are groceries to buy
and she knows she'll have to go home

another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another lonely highway in the black of night
there's hope in the darkness
I know you're gonna make it

another ditch in the road
keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
silent fortress built to last
wonder how I ever made it

savage garden \\ two beds and a coffee machine

***
wonder how i'm going to make it through.

yesterday and today has been filled with inordinate amounts of melodrama and i'm just about going crazy.
what the hell. my life's a wreck and only i truly know what's really going on. the rest of you who pretend to know, or at least think you do... well you really don't. i've been pushing many thoughts to the back of my head, trying to forget about them but lately i've realised that maybe that isn't possible after all.

perhaps it's time to clear the skeletons from my closet?

anyway it was good spending time with you today. i could have stayed there forever. though yeah what happened later was really quite screwed up. but i guess no one ever knows how you or i might really feel. it's impossible to judge others when you haven't been in their position.

awwww screw this it's getting worse the more i try to sort it out.

hahaha i'm freaking amused at the things people search for that lead them to my blog!
some funny shit searched for this:
steps to get abs for teenage girls in 1 week (Google)
and somehow it linked itself to my blog. hmmmmm.

did i even mention anything close to that in the first place?
beats me. actually, perhaps i might have.

other topics which people searched for and yielded my blog:
HIGHLY POPULAR:
fredrik ljungberg
rjc canoeing
njc canoeing
raffles canoeing blogspot

some others:
photo of capsize steps (huh??)
2a13a
i need you song. calvin klein. (ehh.)

this IS fascinating.

hey best friend
i was just thinking about you and how we haven't gotten a decent chance to meet and just talk in so long. but thanks for always been there when i've needed you. you don't know how much your messages and your everlasting encouragement mean to me. maybe i've taken you for granted sometimes but i really want you to know that i love you and i hope that we'll be able to find the time to meet and talk things out.
thanks dear.

-fengyi [njc jan-mar 03a01]

been a year since i left nj for rj. and somehow i still think about it every so often. was it the right decision? i remember struggling like anything to choose between the two colleges. first three months in nj were heavenly, an experience unlike anything i'd ever had before. the fantastic classmates (03a01 v.1.0, you know who you are!), excellent ogls, 35th student council, great friends, aeriusaquaignissolaristerra, my four gorgeous eyecandies *snicker*, basketball, and even njcanoeing.

how could i ever forget those things? with people like liwei huifang zhiwei (ta-daa! the pootie family)... winnie, my first friend in a01, and even the funny folks like khalid and duckles! and of course my basketball-loving solaris houserep with the funky skaterboi shoes, cute braces and fab smile. ugh he was great too. hahaha provided me with tons of viewing pleasure, and hours of agonizing over how to possibly pilfer his photo from the solaris board. which i never got around to doing, but at least i got his number! hahaha thanks bestfriend -wink-

the numerous ccas i tried- canoeing softball touchrugby basketball dance (yes, dance, believe it or not... erps hiphop you asses) hmmm what else ahh. can't really remember. njcanoeing. oh god i've got positively vivid memories of fartlek runs, circuits with 3 sets of 20 exercises, and going round in circles in a t2 with wah ming one stormy day at kallang. and the handball games after training (which i'm convinced were a ploy to make innocent j1s think that playing handball was all they did for training, which really wasn't the case). and the inspirational talks (really!) by mr.yong with his perpetual half-shut eyes ,that made me really want to train hard. i still remember one particularly motivational quote: "when you are at your worst, you must be at your opponent's best" oh and just before chinese new year, when wenkai issued a threat during debriefs to the entire team that a single slice of bak kwa warranted 20 rounds around the track. the warmups and the runs and the j1s and the j2 seniors (oh god she's still so chio i can't take it anymore).

it's really good to reminisce about everything. i'll get back to it soon.

------------------------------------------------------------------
chionging k2 500m tmr. this race means the world to me.
psyche up, let's go.

fear of rejection keeps my heart at bay
things i'd rather not say
i'd rather haveyouclose
than never at all

-- maybe some things are better left unsaid.

leqi ordered me to blog, and so i shall be good, and do as i'm told.

end of common tests finally. gp was okay, eng relatively good, no comments about econs, math as usual (hopeless as hell) and geog generally doable. i actually enjoyed the human geog section quite a bit. i've got quite an affinity for human geog! if only the same would apply to my other subjects. carol chan was damn stoned this morning as a result of history overkill (the night before?) i keep picturing her glazed eyes in my mind. it's oddly haunting.

after geog i did something that i was rather pleased about. pretty fun too. a tad sneaky but no harm, only good intended! but i shan't reveal the specifics. hey if YOU're reading this (you should know who you are) i hope it was a nice surprise.

***
tell me, i guess that cupid was in disguise
the day you walked in and changed my life
i think it's amazing
the way that love can set you free

so now i walk in the midday sun
i never thought that my saviour would come
i think it's amazing
i think you're amazing
***

towning with my darling vania after geog paper. initially wanted to catch a show at lido but there wasn't anything particularly appealing so we went to HMV. spent quite a bit of time there, listened to george michael's amazing four times. i'm in love with that song! it's mesmerizing. and the track sorter was screwed up so i had to keep starting all over from the beginning of track 1. luckily it was only the second track so i amused myself looking at britney's and christina's albums. hah i'll never buy them (though i admit i do have a liking for toxic) and i hate christina.

unofficial training after that at kallang. arrived pretty early and was busying myself with pullups and dips. in the end the sji guys didn't turn up so leqi and i had jiao4 lian4's undivided attention which wasn't bad at all. and i've concluded i can never row an advantage k1. god.

going down to macritchie to try out the boats tmr. let's hope they aren't advantage boats. oh pleeeeease i don't want to capsize. what the hell. i'll row just the same anyway. checked out the schedule and namelist for sat's competition and realised that we have the last race of the day, conveniently timed to take place at precisely 5:33pm. shucks. oh well. and lane one again! well let's hope that's my lucky lane. only 4 lanes per heat, 2 heats for my event, first from each heat goes straight to finals and second and third to semis. i hope to avoid semis. ughhhh slacker! haha.

must start psyching up for saturday. it's my most important race so far for certain reasons that i have. and i know my partner feels the same. hey babe let's do it man. the way we always do -wink-.

yeeaaahhhh chiong ahhhh!
scfktwo500mhereicome!

this goes out to you--

kind of like a summer's breeze
you do exactly as you please
drop a brother to his knees just for fun
i think it was the first of may
girl i can't forget the day
right then and there i knew you were the one
do you think that possibly
you could spend your life with me
cuz girl this love is growing
and it's hotter than the sun

i get a little bit crazy, baby
everytime you call my name
my heart beats a little bit faster
after you are in my arms again
you try to fight it
don't even try to hide it
emotions falling down like the rain
I can't find the words to explain it
ain't it crazy how i fall
everytime you call my name

it's kind of like a work of art
you shot an arrow through my heart
even though we're worlds apart i can't deny
it feels like you're a part of me
the finish and the start of me
girl you are the heart of me
and that's no lie
did i mention that i love you so
and i just want the world to know
if i could you know i would
write your name across the sky

crazy, crazy
everytime that you're close to me
i lose control of my sanity
every night, everyday, every word that you say
girl do you know you put a spell on me

crazy
everytime you call my name
i don't know what to do
i'm so in love with you

javier \\ crazy


you make the world such a beautiful place.