it's the first day of september! prelims are, err... well, about a week and a day away?
shit.

i've been in week five mode for like, one hell of a time.

anyway yeah. this is the ultimate mugging week! no internet after this! whoops.

have you ever experienced a situation where you kinda find that your morals are being slowly eroded away by the people around you- your community and yeah, basically the folks you spend the bulk of your time with. err besides parents, i meant. i guess that's what's been happening to me. some of my ideals have gotten warped and i'm finding that there are things that i now deem acceptable just because it's mainstream-- stuff that i wouldn't have condoned before this mindset switch.

and i've gone into things i know i shouldn't be going into.

anyway there's a particular issue that's been on my mind for about a month or so. initially i thought it was gonna be all sorted out, but somehow or other that just didn't happen. instead i've seemed to be circling around eternally. and right now i'm at a sort of crossroads. where the next decision i make dictates whether i climb or fall. pooooo.

i had a talk with josh at pacific coffee in parkway before service yesterday. i guess it's been something i've been putting off for a real long time. since weeks back i've been promising to email him but somehow or other i couldn't bring myself to give it up and say what i've been going through. it gets unbearably mortifying at times as well. and now it's gotten to this point where i really can't hold on any longer. there's not really anyone much i can talk to about this stuff... but i guess it just came naturally to talk to josh because yeah, i guess he'd be able to help me with this. so i did, and he did.

we talked some more after service (at spinelli, this time. -- umm guess what? i heard "i could never take the place of your man" there! way cool!) and i guess that helped clear my mind (together with a divinely applicable sermon-- thanks, God!). i guess what's leading me to hold on and not let go is the prospect of gratification. in more ways than one. that's the motivation behind the situation. it's a struggle. and i know my decision is gonna hurt certain people real deeply. i'm sorry, but that's what i've got to do. i've got to be objective and understand fully the consequences that will result after this decision.

still struggling. the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak . i'm taking this one step at a time. it helps to know that there are people around who truly care about you. feels great.

it's a case of mind over matter.

hello. guan's peering excitedly at my computer screen, saying with an air of absolute wonder you've revised? wow! oh.
well i really should be getting back to this after that most unwelcome hijacking by guan zhen. :) you should be getting back to your lit.

so she says.
so i should.

oh well.

it's e.lit now and our most prodigious class of nine, scattered far and wide around the wide area of computer lab four. this is the first (and most probably only) slacker lit class we'll ever have. miss choo's ill, i believe. we were assigned a passage-based question each. music from the calling camino palmero is blaring from a side of the lab. pretty funky atmosphere, i say.

well no one seems to have remembered the passage-based as yet.

|| bayern steals real's thunder ||

real madrid 1(figo 84pen) bayern munich 2(ballack 27pen, salihamidzic 64)

talk about domination... :) you go, kahn!

ooh there's lots of work to do. i feel particularly accomplished due to the fact that i have completed revision of several chemistry topics which concepts have somehow proved marvelously elusive the last two years. feels great. i think several teachers in our school have been influenced through seeing a bunch of sec fours kicking a ball round a field few days in a row. this morning, there was this announcement that went: football. are you suffering from post-world cup hangover? blahblahblahblah. join us on wednesday three thirty at the field in front of the school for a leisurely kickaround session. do bring your size five balls. -ooh-er!- jointly organised by miss loo and mr tang -d'ohhh- intriguing. but Os are coming! sheeeeeesh. e.lit file due tomorrow... gawd.

From a personal point of view, Kahn feels that despite his masterful performance for the national team at the World Cup finals, he will still be treated the same way by opposing fans at away matches. “Now I have stopped being Germany’s Kahn and am Bayern’s Kahn again. And the opposition’s fans will still be up to their old tricks against us.”

But Oliver Kahn would not be Oliver Kahn if he didn’t see this in a positive light. “My motivation often comes from confrontation and negative comments.” A 33 year old at the top of his profession is not easily distracted.

boy am i motivated!

2:1 against AC Milan – perfect integration

04.08.2002 | Much attention was focused on the integration of the newcomers to Bayern Munich and the Munich giants gave their own inimitable answer. New Bayern stars Michael Ballack and Zé Roberto both won free kicks following solo runs which were put away by “old guard” members Michael Tarnat (21st minute) and Mehmet Scholl (74th minute). The victory over AC Milan puts Bayern Munich in the final against the hosts of the Real Madrid centenary tournament on Sunday night.

With the untried midfield combination of Nico Kovac, Michael Ballack, Jens Jeremies and Markus Feulner, Ottmar Hitzfeld’s team got off to a slow start. AC Milan took full advantage and dominated in the first quarter of an hour. Andrej Schevchenko passed to Dario Simic on the right wing, whose floating ball to the penalty spot was sent to the back of the net by Filippo Inzaghi’s swivelling shot. Oliver Kahn had no chance of preventing Milan from taking the lead.

The goal stung Bayern, in particular Michael Ballack, into action. The new signing from Bayer Leverkusen took more and more control of the game and was responsible for Bayern’s best scenes. When he was fouled just outside the penalty area in the 21st minute; Michael Tarnat equalised with a low, hard free kick, which Milan’s keeper Abbiati saw too late.

Bayern then piled on the pressure, with a 30 yard effort from Jens Jeremies just going wide. Next, a taste of things to come for the Bayern fans. A lovely flowing sequence from Ballack to Elber to striker Zickler, who was narrowly beaten 10 yards out by the oncoming Italian keeper.

Feulner and a lively Scholl both missed taking the lead for Bayern. At the other end, a searing 20 yard strike from Clarence Seedorf was saved by the masterly Kahn. Then came the moment of Zé Roberto and Scholl. In his first minute on the pitch, the ex-Leverkusener made a solo run towards goal and was fouled. The subsequent free kick was planted in the back of the net by a curling 25 yard Mehmet Scholl speciality, making it 2-1 for Bayern.

AC Milan turned up the pressure in the final 15 minutes but failed to make any impact on the Bayern defence, with Kahn continuing in his World Cup form and preventing the Italian outfit from equalising.

Bayern: Kahn – Tarnat (46. Salihamidzic), Linke (R. Kovac), Kuffour, Thiam – N. Kovac. Jeremies, Ballack (46. Scholl), Feulner (70. Zé Roberto) – Zickler, Elber (46. Pizarro)

it's been a long while since i posted stuff here. well it's sunday 4th august, which makes it a grand total of a month and five days to prelims. awww shucks. that's like real soon.
just tried to play a shooting game found in the fcbayern website and was accosted by a lengthy list of instructions (in german, of course!), skipped it, wondered just exactly how do i do this and moved the cursor around frantically trying to score goals accompanied by what sounded remotely like a chorus of boos emitted from the speakers. no prizes for guessing what the final score was. trying to console myself with the fact that with netminders like kahn, that's pretty understandable.

and i was trying to ascertain just when kahn did away with his horrendous blonde mop by viewing picture galleries of differing intervals. i have come to a conclusion that his new do was derived in the short space of four days, between training on 4th sept 2001 and the match with borussia dortmund on 8th sept. cool. hahahaaa.

the things i do.

oh well. be back another day.

FC BAYERN vs. REAL MADRID sunday 21:30 PT |real madrid invitationals FINAL|

go BAYERN!

Soccer-Bayern recover to beat AC Milan 2-1 in Madrid

Filippo Inzaghi scored the opener on 10 minutes but free kicks from Michael Tarnat and Mehmet Scholl lifted Bayern to victory, earning them a place against hosts Real in Sunday's final.

The Italians will go on to play Liverpool, beaten 2-0 by Real Madrid on Friday, in a consolation match before the final.
AC Milan's star signing Rivaldo, snapped up from Real's Spanish rivals Barcelona, was at the Bernabeu to watch as Milan made a lively start.
A Dario Simic run and cross from the right set up Inzaghi for the first goal, the Italian international hooking the ball past Oliver Kahn from the edge of the box.
Bayern were level on 22 minutes as Tarnat was teed up on the edge of the box to lash the ball low into the far corner.
Serginho was just over the bar from Andriy Shevchenko's lay-off on 30 minutes as AC Milan came back and, after the break, Clarence Seedorf struck the frame of the goal with a powerful shot from outside the box.
AC Milan were in charge thanks to some slick passing in midfield and Seedorf forced a great save from Kahn just past the hour mark with another menacing run and shot.

Bayern kept their cool, however, and the German side clinched victory with Scholl's dipping free kick on 74 minutes.

updated at Sat Aug 3 20:29:25 2002 PT