walking towards sdba and hearing the faraway cheers and halting announcements through the speakers i thought everything seemed so familiar. the race programmes pinned up haphazardly on the makeshift notice boards, timings scrawled on them in black ink, surrounded by a bevy of people eager to know their school's latest standings (as well as their rivals' tallies). canoeists dressed in their school colours huddled round the stone pier intensely gazing at the start point a kilometre away, the unmistakable smell of banana boat sunblock permeating the air and of course jiao lian in his broad brimmed hat and (poseur) oakley shades. gardenia raisin loaf strewn around the heap of bags on the groundsheet (a faint reminder of army- the groundsheets i mean) together with the occasional bunch of bananas and glucolin peeking out of NTUC fairprice plastic bags.

one year since 9th sdba invitationals and everything's just the way it was. just that now there're new boats, new races, new canoeists. gone are the days where i'd scrutinise the race programmes and discover much to my chagrin (and amusement) that the hwachong pair (elin and hwee lin) were in my race again. somehow i kind of miss canoeing. competing. the lactic acid, the thrill of reaching the buoys first, even the sunblock stinging my eyes. the anticipation of the starting command and the elation of victory. it all seems so distant now. i'd love to race again. though right now it's so hard to commit to canoeing because of army and all that crap. but somehow i know i'll get through that and return to where i think i ought to be- in a k2, racing and ultimately, just hopefully even, winning.

after a week of fresh air and a brief hiatus from the regimentality of military life, i'm not looking forward to booking in tonight. back to sierra wing and all it stands for- turnouts, water parades, change parades, full battle order. undoubtedly, there will be good times too. OCS will be a new experience. on another note, i need to lose weight after piling on the pounds during the melbourne trip. i've rediscovered my predisposition to bread&butter puddings, profiteroles, chocolate cheesecakes and the like after brunetti's on lygon street and crown's amazing cafe greco. back to the life of an ascetic in OCS! the only indulgence i'll allow myself to will be six fruits per meal per day. hahaha.

seriously i wonder who's that funky ol' geezer who awarded me a Merit for three hours of random scribblings loosely based on economics. Must've overloaded on mince pies and gin and tonics during the x'mas period. God bless his soul!

happy with my results save for GP's B3. bloody hell! i think there's something suspect about the way in which the languages have been graded this year. for both the Os and the As. anyway no use kicking up a fuss about that right now. all that's left now is to wait for the US uni admission decisions. northwestern and duke, i'm waiting! penn's damn competitive but still crossing my fingers yup.

POP's in less than a week. after that, common leadership phase and i might be off to air wing in OCS, or staying firmly rooted in sierra wing. i'm still torn between Guards in Army and WSO (air defence artillery)in RSAF. not sure if i wanna chiong suah so much more hahahaha and the change parades and turn-outs oh man those really take the cake. it's been a good 9 weeks so far. haha.

+++
Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
But words are only words
Can you show me something else

Can you swear to me
That you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby

I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
It's just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't wanna be lonely anymore
Whoa, whoa, ho, oh whoa

Now it's hard for me
When my heart's still on the mend
Open up to me
Like you do your girlfriends

And you sing to me and it's hardly
Girl what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything just to get you back again
Why can't we just try

What if I was good to you
What if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till
I feel you move inside of me

What if it was paradise
And what if we were symphonies
What if I give all my life to
Find some way to stand beside you

I don't wanna be lonely anymore
+++

rob thomas \\ lonely no more