19th WSO (ADA) emblem
This is a special post for all the 19th WSO (ADA) boys from 59/05 AFST- hang in there, dudes! It's so good that I've managed to resume contact with some of you, after quite a while! It's been slightly more than two months since course started- whatever weapons systems you've been posted to, just give it your all, and chiong like crazy. I miss how we used to lobo in AFS, our afternoon basketball games, gym and pool sessions, loading up on protein powder after weights, doing office duty in ADA HQ, Loke and Ashwin running 30 rounds around the basketball court clad in PT attire and SBO (okay the very sight of that was unforgettably funny), scheming ways of getting out of AFS before 1730hrs, and getting tekan-ed for sleeping in our lobo room. We definitely must get together when I next return- it'll be great to catch up again, especially since I presume you all probably don't really see each other much anymore since you're all scattered among different camps. Unfortunately, I don't think infantryman BL Chia will be returning for X'mas, but it's okay, it'd be good enough to see you all. Heads up- it'll seem like no time at all till when you finally get commissioned! Take care, guys.

Just a few pictures from the farewell dinner we had at Cafe Cartel:

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Speaking about American inefficiency, the NCAA Clearinghouse (a body of the NCAA that clears prospective college athletes before they're allowed to participate in collegiate athletics) seem to have misplaced the copies of my O and A level transcripts that I got RJC to courier over to Iowa, so I can't race in this weekend's regatta against Notre Dame and Michigan State at South Bend, Indiana. Disappointing, for sure, seeing that it's our team's first competition of any sort and I can't even travel with the team (as long as you're not cleared, you can't really do anything). Well, at least Fall races aren't important at all besides the fact that they're for gaining experience- it's the Spring ones that really count; the NCAA and Big Ten championships in April and May. But perhaps it's good in the sense that I'll finally have the weekend to catch up on my German homework and Anthropology readings- I've been focusing, a little too much, perhaps, on Comparative Politics and Great Books, somehow I figure those latter two are harder to catch up on once you fall behind so I'm pretty scared of that happening.

It's my roommate's birthday tomorrow and I've absolutely no idea what to get her. Oh dear. I have a blank greeting card on my table, though. How fortuituous! She's an incredibly nice person, I'll go get something for her tomorrow. Okay I think I've got to get some work done now- will blog sometime soon, perhaps tomorrow.

Okay, here are some photos to whet your appetite before I get round to transferring the rest of the hundred-odd pictures onto my Flickr account. In case you're wondering why I took pictures of American girls flailing their arms about in ecstasy, I'll have you know that those are my teammates in Michigan Crew and they're having a parking lot Dance Party before afternoon practice! Man they totally crack me up, they're awesome. That's the reason you should come to the USA, in particular the U of M. You see things you never thought you'd ever see. Hahaha. The other three photos are from the snapshots I took while in Chicago- I'll load the rest when I've time, I promise. Right now I'm studying for my German test and Great Books midterm, (both, most fortuitously, are on Tuesday. That wouldn't be too bad, initially, just that they happen to be consecutive and are held at spectacularly different locations on campus). So I'll get back sometime after that. Till then, enjoy the eye candy! Lol.

Michela the Diva. God I've NEVER seen anyone dance the way she does. OMG she's fantastic I love her to bits. Lol! 

Michela in intense focus as she negotiates a difficult dance move. "Hmmm... How do I get my fingers out from under my armpits?" -Hannah 

Wilson and Alvin, with Six Flags in the background. 

Hobos in the Chicago Subway, at Grand Ave Station. And in case you were wondering, no, Wilson isn't the reason I look so pissed. Haha! For once! 

Me and my best buddy, an enormous Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Taken outside the Hershey's outlet in Chicago, along the Magnificent Mile. 

I added some pictures below for the fun of it, since I've got over a hundred Chicago photos to add to Flickr, and I still haven't gotten round to doing that! It's pretty tedious, and I'm lazy, so there. Ha. Anyway, the top two photos are that of some of my teammates from Michigan Crew doing their thing in the Intramural parking lot just before we leave for practice- okay they are the most hilarious bunch of people I've ever known, and it's absolutely fantastic. You could just die laughing watching them in action in the parking lot dance parties- we blast music from the vans' stereo systems and watch them go entirely out of control. It's too funny to describe, I prefer to document it by taking photos instead of participating. Haha! And I added two Chicago photos for the heck of it too, will update my Flickr when I've time. Pretty busy over the weekend doing my readings. Tuesday's a crazy day for me- practice on the ergometers at 6.15am to 7.35am, after that I've to rush to North Campus for my German test which begins at 8am, and thereafter to the Modern Languages Building for my Great Books midterm which starts at 9.10am. Am I busy or what? Oh well. Guess I'll blog more after I finish negotiating those tricky tests!

The Officer's Creed

***
I am an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.

My duty is to lead,
to excel,
and to overcome.

I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training,
morale,
and discipline.

I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with pride,
honour,
and integrity.

I will overcome adversity with
courage,
fortitude,
and determination.

I dedicate my life to Singapore.


***

The Officer's Creed is breathtakingly simple but fully laden with meaning and expectation. In OCS it was most commonly associated with the mandatory water parades, which somewhat dulled our sensitivity to the true implications of the creed, seeing that we were too engorged with water to think about anything profound. But right now when I'm so far removed from the familiarity of home and everything it represents, this has somehow gained an entirely new dimension in my point of view. The words possess a motivational value that extend far beyond the military realm into other aspects of my life; whether it be training, classes or just about anything else. Just think about this example- "I will overcome adversity with courage, fortitude, and determination". It helps to reconcile me with my meaning and purpose whenever despair or disillusionment starts to creep in, and helps to assuage the doubt that may have accummulated due to this. I guess I subscribe to the belief that you are only as strong as you think you are. Recently I've been guilty of letting my guard down at times, not pushing myself as hard as I could have, tapering off when no one's around to keep me going. Sometimes it's so difficult to keep yourself motivated, especially when the odds are all stacked against you and you figure that you scarcely have a fighting chance in any situation, so there really doesn't seem to be any good you could possibly gain from imposing such unwonted stress upon yourself. But there always is something to live for, something to prove, and nothing you can't tackle once your mind is dead set on achieving it. It's all in the mind. I can't emphasize that enough, especially since I've started rowing in Michigan and discovered the mental aspect of training at an entirely new level. It's only when you're on the ergometer and midway through a workout piece that you start to play mind games, asking yourself why you're subjecting yourself to all this hard work and why you fought so hard to make it onto the team in the first place when all you've succeeded in doing is to set up more challenges for yourself. And it's at that precise moment where either one of two things happen- your resolve weakens, you figure that no one but yourself knows how hard you're pulling on the ergometer anyway since it's not visibly apparent, and you slack off. Or you grit your teeth, try to sustain your split timing one stroke at a time, get it down below a target rate, and push through the pain. I must admit I've been more inclined towards the former, but honestly what is the point of short-term gratification at the expense of prolonged gains and ultimate satisfaction? It's a tough choice to make, one that's even harder to stick to when you're blinded by the present and barely aware of the future.

"I will excel in everything I do."

Simply put, this is a stark ultimatum- it doesn't leave room for regret, for other alternatives, or for the easy way out. And I don't think I'd want anything less than that for myself.

Talking about photographs, I took a whole lot in Chicago, will upload them onto my Flickr account soon, after I get the polsci midterm out of the way tomorrow. There're cool shots of the Navy Pier, Sears Tower, the Cheesecake Factory (perhaps the best dessert place ever, Cafe Greco of Melbourne has been relegated to second place right now), and of Six Flags Great America Theme Park which we visited on Sunday. Oh and we were also so trigger-happy that we took a couple of pictures of the menu from Penang (this restaurant in Chicago Chinatown that sold, much to our delight, pretty authentic Malaysian-Singaporean fare like Hainanese chicken rice, roti prata, bubur hitam, oyster omelette (!)). We were all delirious with happiness over having local food after eons that we promptly made reservations for the next night immediately after finishing dinner on the first. And there were egg tarts in the bakeries in Chinatown, which we bought on the first night, intending to have them for breakfast the next day. But instead we went to the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) and neglected the egg tarts in the car, and one of the tarts displaced its custard filling onto another tart, which was quite strange really. But I don't think anyone cared, since egg tarts in themselves were treat enough.

We spent a pretty good time in Chicago, I must say it was definitely a most enjoyable experience with the boys, stuffing ourselves silly with gargantuan portions of cake at the Cheesecake Factory, waiting in line at Six Flags for an entire hour for a silly middling rollercoaster called the Ragin' Cajun which actually resembled more of a dodgy ride in an enormous teacup, travelling along the I-94 highway and running over a dead deer on our way back to Ann Arbor, which left a smattering of fur and blood on the tires. Which left Alvin pretty flustered especially after we mentioned that it was a distinct possibility that he could have run over a woman in a fur coat and have mistaken it for a large furry mammal, in the darkness.

Life is good. It's fabulous on the surface. New friends, time well spent, loads of things to do, road trips, experiences of a lifetime that come with having the opportunity to study overseas. But in the back of my mind there are always some things that gnaw away at my insides, things that I try to refrain from blogging about, issues that I find hard to discuss because of the simple fact that no one can give me an answer so it doesn't make a difference anyway. I can't even find a solution to my own problem. It's an awful feeling when you're so desperately hopeless and you wonder what you've done wrong and you would give just about anything in the world for things to be okay again.

i just pray that someday, somehow, you'll find the drive to love again.


***
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much
I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before and it seems to have a vague
haunting mass appeal

But lately I'm beginning to find that I
should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that when
I drive myself my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there

Would you choose water over wine
and hold the wheel and drive

Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings

I'll be there.
***
incubus :: drive

I'm pretty glad (no, wait, actually I'm overjoyed) that my first 6km timed trial on the ergometer is finally over! The whole team couldn't stop thinking about it over the last few days- now that we've got it over and done with (at least for this month), we can breathe easy and enjoy Fall Break till, well, next month. Haha. What blessed relief! I did pull better than I expected- managed a pretty decent average split time, finished the entire distance in 26:33 minutes. Well, there's always going to be plenty of room for improvement- I'm going to aim for a sub-26min timing, which means I'll have to knock off about 4 seconds from my 500m split timing- not easy, definitely, but I'm going to try my darndest if it kills me just to get there.
Michela explained the concept behind the reason why rowers should be tall and big pretty clearly yesterday- you have to pull your own weight, so if you're heavier you're naturally expected to have a faster erg timing since you should be exerting more force to transport yourself over a similar distance compared to a lighter person. So it's essentially a power-to-weight ratio thing. Kind of fascinating, don't you think? And

But I'm so hungry! Even though we had breakfast at West Quad after the trial- it was awesome. For me, Oatmeal = Awesome. Breakfast at West Quad's always pretty good, because there's great food like lemon poppyseed muffins, breakfast burritos with sausage (neither of which I indulge in, but just so you get an idea of the spread), and there's even an omelette station where you can ask for cooked-to-order omelettes. I should try that sometime, but usually I'm kind of full after 2 bowls of oatmeal, and I wouldn't pass on oatmeal, not for the world. Anyway, yeah. I am ridiculously hungry now, but I'll just hold out for a bit longer before I succumb to the South Quad dining hall in a couple of minutes.

I'll be going to Chicago for Fall Break! A couple of us are leaving tonight in a rented Ford Dodge, staying in a hostel in downtown Chicago for a night, exploring the city (Ooh! Urbanization! I haven't seen a building that goes beyond 20 storeys in an eternity!), and going on to the Six Flags Great America Theme Park on Sunday. I think that'll be pretty cool, all the rides seem rather exciting. Finally I've the chance to relax and unwind, after 2 months of adapting to the intensity of college life PLUS rowing. But I've still got to get my workouts in during the weekend- which probably means that I'll be lugging a pair of running shoes and gear to Chicago. Ah well. I'll never escape all this (not that I mind, anyway). Just had lunch, it was awesome. Mashed sweet potatoes are fantastic, the closest alternative I can get to yam paste here. So I had two bowlfuls. Haha I have this tendency to overload on things I really like (as you can probably tell from the oatmeal encounter). But I like it, and it's good for me, so whatever.

Political Science midterms are on Wednesday- I'll be holed up in my room mugging my ass off all of Monday and Tuesday, I bet. Luckily we've got a review sheet which helps to ease the pressure somewhat, because at least then we'll know what we have to focus on and what isn't so important. And my first German essay is due on Wednesday too. I think I should really start working on all this sometime soon. My back aches. I'm sort of tired. During lunch I was eating real slowly, which was pretty unusual. I think I'll take a nap sometime, maybe soon.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who's helped me out in one way or another- you guys back in Singapore, it means a lot for me just to be able to talk to you and hear how life's going for you guys, and for me to tell you how things have been on my side, both the good and the bad. Thanks for the prayers and the support and encouragement. Being so far away from home, it's really heartening knowing that you guys are still around, and concerned about how I am, and take the trouble to find out how I'm doing, and stuff like that. And the SMSes (despite the fact that they cost 50cents to send from Singapore... USA-Singapore SMSes under the T-mobile network cost 15 US cents, so perhaps I'm getting a better deal than you, but don't let that discourage you from sending me messages, now)- it's always a pleasant surprise to get text messages from Singapore.

Okay, I'm off to pack my bag for Chicago, perhaps get some studying done, and go lift at the CCRB at around 3. I'm so hardcore, I can't even begin to comprehend myself. Oh well! A certain level of insanity makes life worthwhile. I suppose.

Curiously enough, weekends seem to go by really quickly here. Although, I do have to say that time does fly here in Ann Arbor. Perhaps it's because my days are jam-packed with so many things to do, crew practices, reading discussion material in preparation for class, writing papers, working out, trying to find enough time in between to sleep. But the weekends seem to fly by really fast! I know I shouldn't complain, because effectively I do have a 4-day school week since my Fridays are free of classes. But it's Sunday night already and I'm staring yet another school week in the face. Good thing that this approaching weekend is Fall Break weekend- and some of my friends and I are planning to drive to Chicago to spend Friday till Sunday. I'm pretty excited to return to urbanization after a prolonged period of time in a semi-rural environment. Bright lights! And Chinatown! We've been deprived for far too long. Okay, don't get me wrong, Ann Arbor isn't that bad! I do enjoy the college town experience. Just that we've just about exhausted every possible entertainment (not that there were very many to begin with, in the first place).

Went for my very first spinning (high-intensity stationary bike) session yesterday at One-on-One Athletic Club (I know, what sort of weird name is that) with my rowing coach, Vita, as well as two of my crew teammates, Michela and Hannah. Originally planned to stay for the first 75-min session only, but somehow Michela and I found ourselves staying for the subsequent 45-min session. It was fantastic. I must say it's definitely worth a shot, the music helps to distract you from the fact that you're doing cardio for 75 bloody minutes, and it is pretty intense. Nailed my cardio for the day by doing that. Hopefully we'll get to go back sometime (and get in free without paying again, heh heh).

Went for an hour-long run this morning, it was pretty cold out. I need more running gear! Stuff from underarmor.com would be perfect but unfortunately the prices are a bit steep, especially for the average poor college student. But the adidas and nike running gear from birch run was money pretty well spent, I felt, as it did keep me nice and toasty despite the 3deg Celsius weather outside.

Spent the bulk of my Sunday cooped up in my room working on my Odyssey paper (which I've finally finished!), as well as reading Agamemnon by Aeschylus (I'm striving towards becoming an authority on all things Ancient Greek), only breaking for lunch and dinner. Mealtimes are so good. But the food's getting quite unacceptable. Well, actually it's pretty subjective. If I were a fries and burger person I'd be quite happy, but since I'm not, I'm resigned to consuming tofu that seems like it's spent an eternity immersed in soy sauce, and various other similarly unappetising selections. Michela says that the food gets really bad towards the end of the semester, because the dorm kitchens have to clear out the food they have before the holidays- and so the menu everyday reads "Chef's Special". Which kind of leaves just about everything to your imagination.

Oh dear I've still got my German Language Learning Journal to complete, which requires me to write a paragraph about anything under the sun in halting German. And I'm far too tired to do that now. Shall painstakingly work it out tomorrow morning after my run, over a steaming bowlful of Irish steel-cut oats. Aaahhh oatmeal rocks. It's total comfort food, and oh-so-good for you. Good night!

I'm waiting for my laundry to finish drying before I go to bed, so I'll make the most of the spare time by posting a new entry, which I haven't done in quite a while. The power went out in the boathouse today and apparently it'd only be restored by nightfall, so we didn't go down for practice at the lake. Instead, we played Ultimate Soccer (exactly like Ultimate Frisbee, just that you use a soccer ball, which you don't kick, but throw) at Burns Park, which doesn't sound like much of a training session, but it was a tremendous cardio workout (just think of it as really fun but intense intervals). It was a blast and something I appreciated quite a bit! I haven't had the chance to play any ball games since coming to UMich, there simply hasn't been enough time. How I miss the basketball games! Especially those back in NYGH.

Rowing practice has been improving- we're finally getting the hang of the motion which started off as being rather alien, but there're so many things to think about all at once, like blade depth, hand spacing, getting into the catch position, the drive and sweep of the blade... but perhaps what's the most important and also the hardest to get is the coordination between all 8 of the rowers. So far we haven't rowed all 8 yet, we typically rotate through pairs, fours, or sixes. When you watch people row it always looks like it's a breeze matching the other 7 rowers stroke-for-stroke, but in reality it's no easy task. Especially when the boat isn't set (balanced) and it's tilting down to the side your oar is extended towards, you tend to get your blade stuck in the water when you don't drive through with enough force or speed. And it's really quite funny when it happens because your oar will be stuck fast in the water, in front of you, and so you will open your mouth to unleash a string of profanities, and thereafter promptly be rendered speechless by the oar handle thwacking you in the stomach with a dull thud followed by an induced expelling of the air in your belly. We rowed with only 7 rowers once, and so the boat was perpetually displaced towards starboard (the side with more rowers) and I kept getting stuck which was entirely awful. It caused me to swear unceasingly (some people can testify to my colorful vocabulary when faced with situations of extreme peevishness, right, Lihui? Haha!).

We've got our first 6km trial on the ergometer next Friday morning, just before the start of Fall Study Break (which lasts till Tuesday). I quake in fear just thinking about the prospect of a 6km trial. It's kind of daunting- the idea of rowing my heart and lungs out at max speed for about 25-30 minutes on the erg doesn't sound like a way that I'd want to spend my Friday morning (especially since I get to sleep a little longer on Friday mornings, since I don't have classes on Fridays). Crap. We did a 3km followed by a short rest and a 2km at Tues morning practice a few days back- and it wasn't all that nice. Argh. Argh. Okay I'll just take everything one step at a time! Or, more literally, one pull at a time.

This previous week has really been a busy one for me- I had my 2nd German test on Wed, followed by our first Cultural Anthropology exam on Thurs. Thankfully, everything went smoothly- I must say I was pretty encouraged by my German test results. Phew. Two papers due next week, one Political Science paper on democracy and a Great Books essay on the Odyssey. And of course, invariably, practice everyday. It's a busy life but I enjoy it tons. I guess I'm getting the opportunity to really experience college life in an overseas environment to its fullest. Before I reached Ann Arbor, I told myself that I'd never want to miss out on getting to know people from all sorts of backgrounds and places, because people had warned me that Singaporeans tend to form cliques (especially in schools like UMich where there's a sizable Singaporean population) and hardly get to know anyone else really well. But the girls on the Michigan Crew team have been fantastic- they're people I can get along so well with, and the fact that we're on a team together helps to reinforce and strengthen the friendships. They're great people. Sehr fantastisch (to put ein bisschen (a little) Deutsch into practice). Haha! Das ist gut.

Okay I think my laundry should be done by now. Will blog sometime soon (maybe the next time I wash my clothes! Lol.)

I've just finished my first anthropology honors assignment, so as you should guess, I'm feeling pretty accomplished now. But probably not for long, because I've got the Odyssey by Homer sitting on my shelf (I refuse to look at it), and I haven't even completed the Iliad yet! Okay I need some serious help here. All this Greek Great Books stuff honestly doesn't appeal to me- hopefully i can get through this term without too much mishap. Also finished my German Language Learning Journal, in which I clumsily scrawled a paragraph in halting, ungrammatical German about my life in UM so far and the challenges of rowing, and hopefully my recitation tutor gives me a check plus for that. I wonder why they call the foreign language lessons "recitations" instead of "discussions"? The word "recitations" never fails to evoke mental images of little European children sitting at wooden desks in a small classroom and obediently chanting phrases from a large reader aloud.

Taking a well-deserved break from gym today- actually I wanted to go down to the intramural sports building to erg (use the rowing machine/ ergometer) before dinner, but it's raining heavily out and I can just feel the burning glare of the Odyssey boring holes into my head so I decided to give erging a miss, just for today. Today's morning run was kind of odd, because it was really misty outside and visibility was rather bad. I could hardly see anything a hundred yards down the street, especially when I was running down South State bypassing the Athletic Campus and wanted to cross the road to East Stadium Boulevard, and it was rather hard to cross because cars would suddenly appear from nowhere, making it rather tough for me to get over to the other side.

Ted and I went to check out Harvest Mission Community Church (HMCC) today, which had its Sunday celebrations at the very accessible Angell Hall Auditorium A, which is just 5 minutes from South Quad if I walk, or barely a minute if I run. It's the place where I have my Political Science 140 lectures, so instead of seeing Prof. Inglehart and his powerpoint slides, it was a welcome change to see the church band and Hillsong praise songs on the overhead screen. I must say I'm definitely more accustomed to the style of the worship, much more charismatic in form as compared to at First Presbyterian off Washtenaw, which I visited 2 weeks ago. That was somewhat more traditional and homely, but edifying nonetheless (they had a terrific old grandma with a voice worthy of the opera stage to lead the hymns). HMCC was not bad, I daresay I would feel pretty comfortable there. For some reason it's primarily Asians, perhaps because the pastoral staff are all Koreans or something to that effect. Next week I think I'll be checking out New Life with Ted and Hannah (one of my crew buddies), which has its celebrations at 10.01am (hmmm!) at the Modern Languages Building auditorium 3. And that's where I have my Great Books 191(zzzZZ) lecture and Cultural Anthropology 101 lecture. But I'm glad I went to church.

***
Proclaim Your awesome power
Tell of mighty deeds
Declare Your future kingdom
Of everlasting peace

And my eyes they look
Unto You always
And I am captured
By your majesty

All of my days
I will sing of Your greatness
All of my days
I will speak of Your grace
All of my days
I will tell of Your wondrous love
Your love in my life
Your love

All Your works will praise You
Your children bless Your name
We speak of all Your goodness
We walk in fields of grace

And my eyes they look
Unto You always
And I am captured
By your majesty
***

Hillsong: All of My Days

So. The 2006 Michigan Novice Rowing Roster's finally out- 32 rowers and 10 coxswains. 8 rowers and a coxswain per boat, and our first race's on 30th October. It's called "Head of the Elk" which sounds oddly Native American. Ooh. Wow I'm already looking forward to racing even though we've hardly moved an inch from the launching dock. But between now and then... I anticipate a great deal of hard work, much much more to come. Ironically, that's what I love the most about the idea of being in a varsity sport like this. Okay, everyone who knows me well can testify to the fact that i relish tough training. Even though I may cuss like nobody's business during the process, loudly make known my burgeoning violent tendencies to everyone in the vicinity, and wonder what's wrong with myself for always getting into such situations out of my own free will (like during change parade in army BMT, or casevac, or route marches, or getting stuck in a thunderstorm in the middle of mandai wilderness during navigation exercise, or cleaning my M16 after live range, or turnouts in full battle order, or field pack and bunk inspections, or a gazillion other things that perfectly sane people wouldn't even begin to consider, much less even do), I guess it's the satisfaction you get upon looking back and thinking about the fact that "wow! I actually made it through all this shit!" that is pretty much irreplaceable. And I love it.

It's going to be one tough year ahead, races along the way, different training programs depending on the season (you don't expect us to train on the lake when it's winter and all hell freezes over, do you now), varying lineups, erg time trials, weight training, loads of cardio... and it's all going to culminate in the NCAA Big Ten Championship Regatta at the end of April, followed by the Central Regional Championship Regatta on the 2nd weekend of May '06. There'll be selections for first varsity eight (top 8 rowers in the team), then second eight, and finally the varsity four. I don't plan to think too far ahead just right now- as my coach (she's incredible) says- just take everything one stroke at a time (like in rowing). Just get through the stuff you're doing first by fully applying yourself to it, and then you can figure out the rest as it comes. I saw this quote on the back of someone's high school running team shirt just the other day, and I thought it made a lot of sense. "Just think about how far you could go if you took another step for every time you thought you couldn't."

I guess it's just human nature- at times we think we've maxed out, we've reached the farthest we could possibly go, but in actual fact we're still yards away from the ceiling. Sometimes you need to distract yourself from the pain, the challenge, just grit your teeth and keep pushing. Another saying I've gotten from yet another person's high school running shirt (I don't know why I have such an affinity for reading the back of people's shirts, but you really learn a lot about life from them, especially here in the USA where you see perhaps just about everything you could imagine would take pride of place on a shirt): "Pain is the weakness leaving your body." It's all in the mind- it's the brain, rather than the body, that determines how far you go in the end.

Okay that's enough profundity to last me for quite a while. Anyway, I think I possess the dubious honor of being the shortest rower in all of Michigan Crew history. Simply put, I am a midget, especially when it comes to comparisons with the rest of the crew team. Everyone is at least 5'5" (about 1.65m) tall, substantially heavier because they're taller, which is of great use when it comes to carrying the boat down to the launching point. I've got some pictures of the launching docks in my Flickr album- it kind of resembles the floating pontoon at Kallang SDBA, except that it's bigger and definitely not as rickety. There's this very noticeable downward slant at my end when we're carrying the boat down to be launched, because I'm at the bow seat (the end which crosses the finish line first in a race, since rowing is done backwards) so I carry the bow end. And it is so bloody heavy when we're walking down the sloped boards to the pontoon, because all the weight is on my end since I move down first, and somehow I get kind of squeamish with US$26,000 weighing down on my shoulders at any one point in time. And our coach said something which I found quite amusing, especially the way in which she said it. "I know all of you are strong- whether you're a midget (raises eyebrows in yours truly's direction), or if you're a giant (points at this girl called Liz who's easily 2 heads taller than me and a lovely person at that), so I want to see all of you doing everything together. Teamwork!" Anyway she's an incredible coach- extremely motivational. I was really impressed by the way she took the effort to get to know every single one of the girls who tried out for the crew team, and remembered all seventy-five of our names (and last names). Even if she calls me Fang, like teeth, you know, Faaaaaang? Grrr. But it's cool. Haha! It's that sort of dedication and passion which emanates from her that really spurs me on even more to put in all that I've got, because it really helps to know that someone has faith in you (even if you ARE awfully small in relation to everyone else).

Practice times are a throwback to days in Raffles Canoeing- well, actually they're even heavier now. I've got practice every weekday from 3.20pm to 6.20pm, fortunately none of my classes make it such that I'm unable to go down during that time, because that's when we go down to Belleville Lake, 12 miles from here, for practice. U of M's boathouse is there- it's incredible, nothing like the minute rectangular-shaped patch that RJ proudly owned in SDBA, which housed our kayaks and paddles and smelly life jackets. This really is a Boathouse of standard. There's a locker room, a meeting room, ergometers, and the racing eights and fours are kept downstairs. And the whole team can't wait to get all the crew gear- the Michigan Crew nike shirts, jackets, the complete works. It's got to be earned through nothing less than hard work, which is definitely what I'll be putting in.

Go Blue!

Finally! The last day of rowing tryouts, which lasted for a week. Six days of going down to the rowing machine (ergometer) room where the varsity crew team has its practice, at the intramural sports building. I have a hunch that the tryout schedule was designed in such a way that the coach could then weed out the people who weren't actually serious about training, by scheduling several of the training sessions pretty early in the morning, at about 6.15am. Anyway I must say that I'm amazed at how just about everyone displayed such great commitment by turning up for every tryout session- I fell to talking to some of them and it's easy to see just how much they want to make the team. I miss that kind of dedication and passion and the entire idea of team spirit and camaraderie, and perhaps that's one of the primary reasons I want to be able to join UM crew- to have something to train for, to get the chance to compete, and getting to know a whole lot of like-minded individuals whom I can possibly foster deep friendships with. Anyway, the roster for the 2005-6 novice team will be announced on Sunday- whether it be rower or coxswain or sorry-you-didn't-make-the-cut, I'm glad to say that it has been a fulfilling week, not only because I finally learnt the art of proper technique on an ergometer, but because I've also had the opportunity to get to know some strong-minded individuals, people I can identify with, who have that sort of passion for whatever they set their mind to. I guess it's been a great experience. And it's definitely helped me in taking a break from all the work and assignments that've been relentlessly pouring in, as well as clear my head and keep me from thinking about other parts of my life that haven't been going as smoothly as I'd like.

i was just thinking about how ironic some things are... After JC i thought i'd never have to do any more timed 2.4km runs. Then it turned out that we did timed 2.4s about a total of 5 times during BMT. After BMT it seemed to me that i'd cleared IPPT for the year, so I wouldn't have to run 2.4 again that year. But I did, twice more in Sierra during combined leadership phase/ service term, and twice after in Air Force Service Term. And I really thought that was it! I'd done about 10 timed 2.4s, so it ought to be enough, right? But No! while loboing in AFS, I did 3 more 2.4s, and took my IPPT for that workyear ( still dunno if they've credited my $200 into the bank account yet, hmmm), which makes it 4 2.4s in AFS.

So after about 13 2.4s, I finally flew off to Michigan and was extremely glad that I wouldn't have to worry about any more 2.4s till next year's IPPT during the summer vacation. Well, guess what, I just did a 1.5mile time trial this morning for day 4 of novice rowing tryouts. Do you know how long 1.5miles is? Surprise! It's a bloody 2.4! Pfffffft. But it was fantastic. Really.

Oh and one more thing I'm delighted to note is that I haven't put on any weight yet! In fact, I think I might've lost some! This is awesome, man. And the thing is, I think I'm eating more here compared to back in Singapore. Today there was an incredible dinner... it was a special dinner, called the "Welcome to Michigan" dinner. The menu was superb- there was baked whitefish, Frankenmuth fried chicken (which is supposed to be way outta this world), smashed Michigan red potatoes (these were awesome), beef and vegetable pasties, Michigan vegetable mix... and those were just the entrees. And there were cream puffs with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce, as well as Michigan fruit crisp (this is really good stuff, guys) for dessert. Arghh I love this place. Well anyway, as I was saying, even though I eat considerably more here I haven't put on weight (HAHAHAHA ALL YOU CYNICS HAHAHAHA I'M GONNA PROVE ALL YOU GUYS WRONG MAN JUST WAIT AND SEE)... I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I walk when I wanna get anywhere in this sprawling campus, I never take the campus buses (unless it's from central to north campus in the mornings when I've to rush for german classes at 8), and perhaps due to the daily morning runs and pre-lunch gym workouts. Okay man i'm gonna keep this up so I can enjoy food yet maintain my fitness lol.

I've a 1000m timed trial on the ergometer (rowing machine) this coming Friday afternoon... Arghh I remember how we used to train on the lone erg in the RJ fitness room just before the machine rowing championships in Feb 2004, and how we used to tumble out of the seat in a flurry when we practiced the mixed 4 x 500m relay. Once I left my shoe in the foot port when I over-enthusiastically tumbled off to make way for philip, which was quite exasperating then but funny now when I think of it. Anyway just thinking of a 1000m timed trial makes me want to cry... I remember all too well the feeling of racing on the rowing machine... my legs were totally Gone after the race. They just subsided into a gelatinous mass. Crap man, can't believe I'm subjecting myself to this again. I wish they had lightweight crew in UM... I know I'm terribly disadvantaged by virtue of my size, especially when one of the criteria to succeed in rowing is that of height. And by height, i mean HEIGHT. like 5'8", at least? And you need mass as well- say about 170 pounds? Okay so I'm nowhere near such gargantuan proportions, neither do I particularly want to be, so I will just have to see where drive and hard work take me.

Either that or I can be coxswain (the so-called commander of the boat, who does coxing and steering, as well as motivator of the crew, and gives the starting commands and plots the race strategies, but who essentially doesn't row in the competition). The coxswain has to be between 110-120 pounds in weight (oh and I found out something interesting too, if she doesn't meet the minimum weight requirement she'll have to carry a weight to compensate, lol) But I'd much rather row... Oh well guess I'll just have to wait and see how it goes. And as I've discerned from 2 years of canoeing, I have a terrible relationship with rudders, and direction in general.

How awfully disadvantaged small people are! I got to know another girl trying out for rowing- she's about my height and she looks real lean and strong- I'm always seeing her in the gym (ah, precisely my sort of person!). She's called Kelsey, from Colorado- and the really cool thing about her is that she used to be a wrestler back in high school. And there wasn't a girls' team, so she took part in the guys' championships, and kicked some serious ass there. Apparently some guys from college wrestling in her weight category quit after losing a bout to her. Man I think that's someone I can definitely be good friends with. Lol.

How quickly time has passed- it's already been three weeks since I reached Ann Arbor, and I must say I'm settling in pretty nicely. These three weeks have been rather jam-packed with activities... all the Destination Michigan orientation events, like Festifall, Maize Craze, Escapade and Artscapade, buying sprees at Meijers, Target, Linens & Things, meals at South Quad and Bursley and Stockwell (food sucks at Stockwell! phooey), morning runs to everyplace imaginable, gymming at the CCRB, rugby practice, rowing tryouts, and yeah, of course, classes which started on Tuesday. Even though I can't deny that my class schedule seems really good (which it is), the workload already looks staggeringly heavy. It's only the first week of classes and already I don't dare to procrastinate (like how I spent much of my JC life, lol), because once you neglect to do the readings they'll just accumulate and haunt you when it comes to midterms and finals. So far the best class has been Cultural Anthropology- it's really interesting and I think the lecturer's a blast, and to think that was a class I picked to sorta fill up my last open credit slot. I'm still not into the Iliad and the Odyssey and the Greek tomes we get in Great Books- to be honest, if it weren't a requirement I'd never have taken a second look at it.

Haha it's sort of strange how prior to when I came I had thoughts about being subsumed into the some of the more questionable aspects of American culture- the wild frat parties, Greek life, drinking, drugs, that sort of thing. And yeah I guess it is prevalent, well not exactly overwhelmingly so, but it Does exist, just perhaps not to such a large extent as I thought there might have been. Sure, sometimes I open the door of my room and see some topless guy chasing a shrieking, laughing girl down the corridor and disappearing into a room with the door slamming behind them. And I've heard stories about how one of the Singaporean freshies in UM apparently has two druggies as roommates- when he walks into the room it's a purple haze with the pot and all. But somehow I don't know. I really don't give a shit about all the partying and crap like that. Before I reached, I thought I'd at least be curious and go check out one or two of the parties. You know how they say lots of freshmen, when they arrive in a foreign place, they suddenly feel so liberated that they throw all caution to the wind and indulge in wild abandon? I just read a blog which mentioned that scholars, in particular, do this sort of thing because they've been holed up working their asses off in Singapore for too long. Ha I won't say too much, except that it is an unfair generalisation. Anyway, even when some of the other singaporeans suggested checking out the asian frat parties and stuff like that, i just gave it a pass. Nah. I don't know why, but it's like I feel I've got so many other things to do than just getting stoned or drunk or wasted. And there are a lot of people and things (and, well, Organizations, LOL) that are important to me back in Singapore that I guess I'm just here to do my best and live up to their (and my) expectations. Not to mention keeping the faith of the people that I live for. Strange, isn't it? To become a chao mugger here. Lol...


***
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me
Please stay